Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

giving

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I gave head for the first time the other day and to be honest i reckon i did really badly!! I was so nervous but was doin it with a fuck buddy i trust SO much. I wanted to try it and thought that he was good to practise on ;)

He told me what to do ish, but didnt really show many signs of it being amazing....lol. He knew i hadnt done it bfor and knew i was nervous, we will do it again but in the meantime has any1 got any precise and useful tips so i can work on it!?
«13

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol whoops the title was supposed to be "giving head"....so yeah tips on giving head please!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Giving head isn't as great as it's made out to be, I wouldn't worry so much.
    I HATE giving head to girls and although I do enjoy a good blowjob, I'd much rather have sex.
    Tips? Use your tongue
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i meant giving head to a guy...as in a blow job
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol yeah I know, use your tongue. While your sucking sort of work your tongue around under the bellend, if you get what I mean.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well. I've only done it with one guy - my boyfriend, so I'm probably not going to help much, but he says I'm great at doing it. He could be lying, but here's what I do:

    start off by licking the length of the shaft, paying attention to the bit around the head of the penis - there's a little dent/ridge to look for that's quite sensitive, so try gently licking that area or rubbing it with your finger. Works for my guy, anyway!

    other tips are if you can deep-throat, do it. My man seems to love it, but I can only manage it for a few mins before it makes me gag. Apparently some men like it when u do that though - think that might only be if theyve seen porn when the women gag though!

    it's just all about getting a rythym (no idea how to spell that!) going - mixing it up a bit but not too much once you've got him close to coming. Use your tongue lots - if you take him in your mouth (use your hand as well if u cant get it all in! lol), suck gently on the way back up and use your tongue around the head while you've still got him in your mouth - that make sense? It takes a lot of concentration and the ability to do more than one thing at a time, but it seems to work for me!

    Then obviosuly theres the usual - look like you're really into it (I'm lucky, because I love doing it), lick and gently suck his balls, lick and kiss the sensitive areas like his hip, just below his belly button and his inner thighs - and (possibly tmi?) my man seems to like umm...gentle rimming (not that I do it that often! eurgh!) and/or a finger up his bum while I'm licking his balls or giving him head! Hmm. well whatever works for him I guess!

    I'm sure more experienced women or the guys on here will now jump on me and say I'm doing it all wrong! Hehe
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like you have the moves Tallulah!! And only 20/21??? Wow.

    Tallulah's advice is gppd, just mix it up a bit, use the tongue, suck on it as well, go deep, lick the balls and let him finish in your mouth and he will be one happy guy lol ;-)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow thanks thats detailed, ill try that out...i just read about lollipop technique? (when u start from underside of his balls and lick up right up to tip of his penis like a lollypop.....and repeating it a few times) - anyone tried this?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've never tried licking a guys balls, i never thought about it, im really rubish at giving guys head though- i'll have to try and improve but i havnt got anyone to practise on lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I like to recieve blowjobs that just have it all, licking, sucking, tongue rubbing around, lips tight then loose, a lot of sloppy spit always makes it good, plus some ball licking, ball sucking, ball squeezing and a bit of hand use.

    personally, i i enjoy giving oral, just is so good.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I say get him drunk and then do it. Hmm or maybe not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote:
    Giving head isn't as great as it's made out to be, I wouldn't worry so much.

    A skilled blowjob can be mind blowing ... I am sure you will have a good one someday.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There aren't any magic tips on how to give good head. It's not a case of do x y and z and he will spurt in your face. What makes one guy go wild will send another on the fast track to floppyville.

    Use your imagination but also listen to what he seems to like / not like and you'll soon get the hang of it.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    A good blow job can be incredible, a bad one can be awful.
    As Thunderstuck says, the only way to know for sure your doing a good job is to get your partner to tell you what he likes.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Here goes:

    The first rule of good head is that you have to enjoy it. No amount of going through the motions will compensate for real enthuasiam about pleasing your fella, it's cliched but true. If they know [er, or think] you worship their cock then they will be incredibly aroused. If I don't like something sexually then I won't do it regardless of how much wheedling a man might do. Luckily blow jobs are very easily made extremely enjoyable to the lady too.

    Getting down to business, I would say it's important to take your time even if he wants to rush (common problem) as it does - in my experience - increase the intensity of the orgasm the longer you make him wait for it. Eye contact is essential, not always easy but every now and then look up and catch his eye. I think I had too much time on my hands back in the day as I remember spending aaaages practising a cheeky smile that I could do more with your eyes and cheeks than my mouth (as that was pretty full). Eye contact suggests sexual confidence even if it is all bravado, and if he's a porn fan then it'll probably remind him of some filth he's watched once upon a time ;)

    As for what to actually do with your mouth and tongue, it's basically an open playing field. There are so many different ways to stimulate a penis other than just fucking it with your mouth as fast as you can. I can't be bothered with that anyway, it takes all the enjoyment out of blow jobs for me as I'm thinking about rythmn etc rather than getting into the spirit of things. I also tend to drift off into thoughts of what I'm going to put in the coloured wash. Familiarise yourself with the sensitivity of different areas. Of course every man is different but basically the major concentrations of nerve endings are in the same places. Good places to lick slooowly are the length of the shaft (veins up the front particularly), ridge around the base of the helmet, the testicles, sides of the testicles and the perinium. If he's clean and you're brave then you can go for broke with the anus.

    In my humble experience the more teasing the better, frustration is a turn on in itself as long as it's not too drawn out. Work your way down there slowly. Again, take your time. If he's an impatient headpusher (bad, bad, bad) then I have always taken to tying his hands up so I am completely in control. Nothing kills the vibe like a palm on top of your head shoving your down there. You can kiss and lick slowly and firmly on the tummy, hips, inner thigh and then in a little figure of 8 over his testicles gently. Blowing gently on the places that are wet - where your tongue has been - is very effective.

    Rank as it probably sounds, you need to learn to do a lot of drooling. Really work up a lot of spit to make it really wet as ideally you want to coat the whole of him. If you get this down then you can also use your hand to wank him at the same time as sucking him so that you are stimulating the whole of him at once [and making things easier on yourself = bonus!]. If you carry on with this then he will probably come fairly quickly. But you don't want to let him do that! Seriously, get him as wet as possible. Don't be afraid to really dribble over him (sexy!) and employ your best "naughty porn star" face. After that I would suggest just letting yourself go nuts and lick him all over - balls, his shaft, the back of the penis (oh-so-often neglected), just kissing and licking and sucking and doing the old crazily exagerrated "mmmming" as you go. Is good to learn to alternate in perfect rhythm. Slide your tongue up the shaft from balls to tip, then go down on him old-school style for just one head bob, then lick then bob then lick then bob. Drives [some] men wild as they can't decide what they like more, though you do get some who tell you to pack it in.

    It's a lot to take in, and basically you need to just go with it and guage his reactions. Above all - variety, rhythmn and enthusiasm along with a lot of saliva will see you right. Listen to the noises he makes to know what really does it for him. But don't have a set pattern, do what YOU want to do and in the order you fancy. Ask him what he likes, talk about it. Everything I know about going down on blokes has been learned from blokes, they know better than anyone what stirs their loins.

    Just an aside on deep throating though it probably won't be your bag until you're a lot more comfortable with fellatio generally. It takes practise but is worth the trial and error if you're a plucky one! I think it also takes a lot of love (or at least desire) because it ain't exactly a walk in the park. If you can't do it just take him as deep as you can comfortably once in a while to let him feel you just want to gobble it up. There is no pressure for deep throating as most of the sensitivity is in the tip anyhow, but if you want to perfect the art then why the fuck not go the whole hog I say! I've always found it to be easiest from a sort of 69 position with you on top so your head is the other way up to his penis. You have to learn to open and relax the back of the throat and have your head tipped back sword swallower stylee... as weird as that sounds. It takes practise to do it without gagging, but the times I've pulled it off have made the perserverance worthwhile.

    Whatever you do, make sure you make excited, encouraging noises so he knows you are loving it. There's nothing more of a turn on than thinking that the person who is giving you oral sex is REALLY enjoying it. When he comes let him come deep in your mouth for some of it, and then open you mouth slightly and hold your tongue just under his helmet so he can watch it, er, dribbling over your lips. Look up with your [now perfected] cheeky smile, swallow, purr like you've just had a gobful of hot chocolate and voila. After that my instinct would be to move up and kiss him and lie together so he have a kip. If you've done your best work then he will need shut eye and so will you.

    It sounds like a fine art and maybe it is. It sounds very strange to say but being able to give good head has infinitely improved my sex life and relationships. Make sure you get yours too though, if you're into it. Straight after probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but don't let it be forgotten that next time it bloody well better be your turn! :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Briggi your boyfriend is a lucky man! :naughty:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah im with Kangoo

    that was funny thanks very much im sure that will help - its just putting it into practise now ;) I really want to be good at this :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi...wow! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    damn right Briggi wow!!!

    Jesus. I hope to find a girl like you ;-)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow.

    Briggi - I had no idea.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If i might be so bold as to just add a couple of teeny tiny points onto briggi's truly amazing and astounding and dare i even say arousing explaination of perfect blowjobs;

    IF you are going to try deep throat, which i agree should only be undertaken when you are very comfortable at giving head, then for some men, maybe not the one you are with, but for some men, girl who do gag while doing it can be a turn on to them. Though you yourself have to be able to do it happily.

    Apart from that, the points briggi made on (if he is clean) anus playing and using LOTS of spit, especially the points on spit are very very desirable to most men!

    Bravo briggi, bravo indeed!!!!!!!!!!! :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gagging as a turn on!? It really is a case of diff'rent strokes when it comes to sex eh :razz:

    jenni - the best advice I can give you is don't let it stress you out, all [well, most] go through thinking that they're no good at certain acts and that he's not enjoying it. It genuinely does all come with time and practise and listening to what he's telling you (verbally and non-verbally). Being confronted with a big boner is one of those fight or flight scenarios I think, very nerve-wracking so you just have to do your best and be creative. If you trust each other then it should be a happy experience, but I would always say to take control of the situation anyway, as bad experiences with headpushers and other demanding turds can be very off-putting.

    Oh, and if you get tired or feel like you've had enough then don't feel like you have to finish him off with your mouth - anything goes as long as you're both having fun! :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi wrote:
    If you trust each other then it should be a happy experience, but I would always say to take control of the situation anyway, as bad experiences with headpushers and other demanding turds can be very off-putting.

    i completely agree about demanding turds putting you off i was bullied into giving blow jobs by one of my boyfriends and i stopped doing it after breaking up with him, havnt done for 3 years now and ive been feeling nervous about doing it again incase im crap all these tips sound great, feel more confidant now...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sopycookie wrote:
    i completely agree about demanding turds putting you off i was bullied into giving blow jobs by one of my boyfriends and i stopped doing it after breaking up with him, havnt done for 3 years now and ive been feeling nervous about doing it again incase im crap all these tips sound great, feel more confidant now...

    same for me! but i want to try it again now without being pressured into it ( avoided doing it for ages).
    thanks for the tips guys, hopfully it will help me next time i have a chance!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    playdead wrote:
    same for me! but i want to try it again now without being pressured into it ( avoided doing it for ages).
    thanks for the tips guys, hopfully it will help me next time i have a chance!

    its so nerve racking doing it without being pressured though, especially as ive been with my boyfriend over 2 years without doing it im worried after the long wait ill be awful..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sopycookie wrote:
    its so nerve racking doing it without being pressured though, especially as ive been with my boyfriend over 2 years without doing it im worried after the long wait ill be awful..
    yea, i've managed to avoid it for so long im worried i'll just think back of when he forced me to do it and start resenting my new boyfriend even though he won't force me argh! & they just think its normal to give head and my mate doesn't understand why i avoid it cause she enjoys it
    i wanna enjoy it but i'm nervous about doing it wrong so he doesnt enjoy it & i didn't like it before so i dono if i will now :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    playdead wrote:
    yea, i've managed to avoid it for so long im worried i'll just think back of when he forced me to do it and start resenting my new boyfriend even though he won't force me argh! & they just think its normal to give head and my mate doesn't understand why i avoid it cause she enjoys it
    i wanna enjoy it but i'm nervous about doing it wrong so he doesnt enjoy it & i didn't like it before so i dono if i will now :(

    This makes me fucking furious. What an arse that bloke must be.

    So yeah, I can completely understand why you didn't enjoy it before, like I said it's not very enjoyable at all unless you have (or can fake) confidence in your actions and you actually want to be doing it. Otherwise there really isn't much point, no man of any substance would want a grudgingly-given blow job and if you still don't feel ready for it then I'd suggest doing something else. Don't let mates pressure you into thinking you're weird or the odd one out because you don't have a mouthful of cock every night - as you will come to realise there is NO "normal" way to conduct a sex life.

    If it's not just bad experience affecting you and you're also hesitant largely because you're scared that he won't enjoy it then DON'T BE; it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Men on this board say otherwise and I'm obviously in no position to contradict them, but I will say that I think it must be very, very difficult to give bad head. At least definitely easier to be good than bad if you see what I mean. Take your time, be aware of his responses, communicate with him, trust him, be sure of yourself. It also helps to go into it thinking "I am the blow job queen" - confidence breeds confidence breeds confidence etc ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Unless you bite his nodge off you can't do it "wrong", but if you don't really want to do it then you won't give a very good blowjob. There's little point unless you actually want to do it, because you won't give very good head if you just go through the motions because you think you should.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^^ thanks guys:)
    i wanna do it with someone i really like, i think then i will enjoy it :)
    i'll give it a go soon and if all goes wrong and i don't like it i'll just leave it
    thanks, and 'briggi', your so lucky to be so confident! :)
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    Kermit wrote:
    Unless you bite his nodge off you can't do it "wrong"

    I've had quite few painful blowjobs.

    Just make sure you don't hurt him and you'll be fine.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ahh how can you swallow it? No offence to manjuice but I wouldn't like a big glob of it in my mouth so I couldn't even imagine swallowing it :nervous:
Sign In or Register to comment.