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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah wok never gets done, got tons of college work piling up but all i do is sit and look at it... which doesn't help that much i guess... eastenders huh, don't really watch it, only recently moved to the uk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    That's true, just want to do it. The only thing stopping me is I know I'll have to explain myself to the boyf, and he'll be pissed off. I don't want to actuslly cut, I just want the pain. I know it sounds ridiculous.

    Aaand, I'm all on my own again tonight. When I was meant to be seeing him. Was really looking forward to being in his arms again.

    Wanting to feel the pain and not cut is fairly normal, I know I get it every now and again. Best thing I found is an elastic band round the wrist which you ping to get the pain but no cutting involved. My ex never understood why I did it either, thought I was a freak, and used to make promise never to do it again etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wanting to feel the pain and not cut is fairly normal, I know I get it every now and again. Best thing I found is an elastic band round the wrist which you ping to get the pain but no cutting involved. My ex never understood why I did it either, thought I was a freak, and used to make promise never to do it again etc.
    Will try the elastic band, thankyou Marie. Yeah, he just says that he'll be mad if I do harm :yeees:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Will try the elastic band, thankyou Marie. Yeah, he just says that he'll be mad if I do harm :yeees:

    I've used it at work before, it doesnt look odd in an office to have a elastic band round your wrist. Well not on me it doesnt. To be fair if you boyf has very little personal experience of self harm he might find it very hard to understand why you do it, how it effects you etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    Could you not put a bandage over your hand and wrist and say that you spraiend your wrist or something?
    That's exactly what I did. Sorry only just seen this, thanks for replying.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    That's true, just want to do it. The only thing stopping me is I know I'll have to explain myself to the boyf, and he'll be pissed off. I don't want to actuslly cut, I just want the pain. I know it sounds ridiculous.

    Aaand, I'm all on my own again tonight. When I was meant to be seeing him. Was really looking forward to being in his arms again.

    I know how you feel, I always find it hard explaining myself to my boyfriend after cutting, I know how frustrating it can be to not be able to do it, sometimes I get really angry at him even though I know it's for the best that I feel that way coz it is stopping me. Have you tried holding ice on the place where you want to hurt yourself? Sometimes I find that helps coz it hurts but doesn't do any damage. Hope you're ok xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    liv wrote:
    Have you tried holding ice on the place where you want to hurt yourself?

    If you do this, make sure you put a towel or something similar under the ice as it can cause ice burns.

    Slightly OT, but for some reason, I always seem to want to cut myself after arguing with people. Are there any better ways of dealing with this?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok i'm still extremly and utterly depressed and really have no idea how i'm actually getting through this, i feel as if the whole world is resting on my shoulders... i really feel like just giving up. i cut myself again last night and it just didn't seem to work for me this time, usually i feel a bit better but it didn't work :( i need help...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    Slightly OT, but for some reason, I always seem to want to cut myself after arguing with people. Are there any better ways of dealing with this?

    Its a normal, for me, defensive mechanism: "You made me feel crap and now I'm going to hurt myself" feeling. You have to find something less desructive to get the anger out; scream, cry, punch pillows, do some exercise. Anything to keep you busy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you spoken to your doctor, robz? They're a damned good place to start when wanting to feel better, or help with life :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah well i just moved here to the UK, i was seeing a doctor in south africa and i was put on anit depressants but they just don't seem to be working for me anymore, i've been put through so much these past few months and everything is just starting to take it's toll on me, i feel like i'm trapped and there's no escape
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Boards Champion
    It sounds like you've been through an awful lot robz, following from what Click said, sounds like it would be a good idea to register with a doctor - TheSite has an article on registering.

    In the meantime, you might find it helps to talk to someone at supportline you can reach their helpline on 020 8554 9004 (the hours vary so ring for details.) If you don't feel copmfortable/able to speak to someone then perhaps you might like to email [email protected] - oh and keep posting here :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks helen, i'll try follow some of those links you suggested! hopefully one of them will work and get me through how i'm feeling and get me out of this hole i got myself into
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    robz wrote:
    thanks helen, i'll try follow some of those links you suggested! hopefully one of them will work and get me through how i'm feeling and get me out of this hole i got myself into

    I'm sorry you're feeling so down, sounds like you need a big hug so here's a verbal one. Just to say that I know how you feel about being in a new place and being away from all your friends but just bear with it, it will get better I promise. I never thought it would and it did take time but eventually you get used to it. Hope you start to feel better soon xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for all the support guys, it really means alot to me, i know i don't really know you all that well but having people to talk to and knowing that i'm not the only one who feels this way helps me alot. thanks
  • Dr PirateDr Pirate Trust me, I'm a doctor Posts: 8,303
    I need to see someone about my drinking...

    It's gotten to the point I'm not even remembering leaving my house, yet finding my door wide open and my stuff all around the place =\

    Ugh... sounds silly, I'll just stop. ;[
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesn't sound silly. but it does sound serious. You're absolutely right about needing to get some help. It's either that, or you'll follow our darling jake.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    fuck fuck fuck fuck shit

    that's how i feel
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's up?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    What's up?
    See 'My job is making me ill' in the work section. Presently trying to work up the courage to phone the docs and make an appointment. I can't go on like this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rang the doctors. What's the bloody point? I can't make an appointment in advance. It's first come first served so will now have to wait til tomorrow morning to try again. It's a bloody good job I'm not dying.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Will someone please tell me, how on earth do I convince my friend (who doesn't understand self harm) that if he stays away from me (as in no contact) that I'm not going to slash my wrists? He seems to think I will do that and that I blame him for the fact that I self harm.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Erm ... a little confused. Do you not want to see this person anymore?

    I don't think it's that he really thinks that you're going to do it BUT that should anything happen to you he would feel responsible and like maybe if he'd been there that things would be different.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do want talk to him but we had an argument last Monday and I suggested to him last night that we need to take a break from each other for a bit and he told me he doesn't want this because he thinks that I'm going to slash my wrists and blame him for it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What do you do when you know you're close to the edge, I mean full snapping breakdown kind of edge.

    I'm afraid to go to college in case something makes me snap, walked away from the till point at work because I was going to scream at a customer.

    I've had SAD type depression for three years now, been on something...Fluxetine (prozac basically) for three months and it's done jack shit.

    I have a huge piece of coursework due on Friday and an exam in two weeks which isn't helping :banghead: I know everyday I miss I'm making it worse but ARGHHHHHHHH I need to scream.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    I do want talk to him but we had an argument last Monday and I suggested to him last night that we need to take a break from each other for a bit and he told me he doesn't want this because he thinks that I'm going to slash my wrists and blame him for it.
    It sounds like he's being a bit selfish here and kind of covering his own back. Unfortunately, I think that you're going to have to be strong and ignore his calls and stuff. Sorry I can't be more helpful but I've had a stressful morning. If I think of anything else I'll post later.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gemmzie wrote:
    What do you do when you know you're close to the edge, I mean full snapping breakdown kind of edge.

    I'm afraid to go to college in case something makes me snap, walked away from the till point at work because I was going to scream at a customer.

    I've had SAD type depression for three years now, been on something...Fluxetine (prozac basically) for three months and it's done jack shit.

    I have a huge piece of coursework due on Friday and an exam in two weeks which isn't helping :banghead: I know everyday I miss I'm making it worse but ARGHHHHHHHH I need to scream.
    Talk to someone about how you feel - friend/college counsellor? Or write it all down. That's what I did yesterday. You can write it just for yourself OR post it one here OR whatever. Sometimes just being able to express how you feel can help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel like a yoyo. Up for a while- good while it lasts, then down- bad for a lot longer :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Feel like a total failure, just cut after resisting the urge since yesterday afternoon and I'm seeing my boyfriend tonight, he'll be so upset if he sees, don't know what to do, perhaps I could just try and hide it somehow all night. Wish it would just all go away, I hate feeling like this. Sorry, just needed to get that out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loopi wrote:
    It sounds like he's being a bit selfish here and kind of covering his own back. Unfortunately, I think that you're going to have to be strong and ignore his calls and stuff. Sorry I can't be more helpful but I've had a stressful morning. If I think of anything else I'll post later.

    Thanks. I think what makes this worse is that, from the way he goes on about self harm makes me think he doesn't understand anything about it. All he understands is that I'm very likely to cut myself if he argues with me. (which he found out accidently by reading a post I made on here then had a go at me:( )
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