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Oh how fucking predictable

Well, developments with my ex - kinda.

As you may or may not be aware, she is travelling at the moment with a mutual (guy) friend of ours from Uni. We broke up in mid-November and I get an email today saying that they are now together and that I shouldn't be angry at him, and she was urging me to take it out on her if anyone at all.

Now I've never really trusted this guy fully. I know that he has always fancied her but never though that she would do anything (cos she has admitted to me that she doesn't find him remotely attractive). However, never once during the summer did he ask if I was cool with him going away for the year with my (then) girlfriend nor did he once ask me if I was ok after the breakup when every single other of my friends went out of their way just to send me a text or whatever seeing that I was ok. Spineless cunt.

Now she's coming back in February and prior to this morning, I wanted to see her and I was also holding out some semblence of hope that she would see the error of her ways and we could get back together. Now however, whilst I feel completely cuckolded, betrayed by two people I thought were friends, I feel better about it than I have done in, well, ever. I now have no feelings for her whatsoever after what she's done to me.

Perhaps it's me being a little selfish (for a change) but I can't see them lasting. They are waaayyy too different plus he gets itchy feet whenever he's in a relationship. I wrote her a pretty angry email saying that they are both spineless cunts, to whom words like loyalty, friendship and responsibility mean nothing and I told her that as well as now never ever being able to forgive her, I really wouldn't be surprised if I never saw her again. Feels strange but through so much rage, I feel fantastic - better than I have done in months. I think perhaps it needed this in order for me to completely get over it.

So in a very roundabout way - who is justified in doing what they did? Am I overreacting? Is she being a spineless coward? Or are mates' exs fair game?

Just wanted to let that out cos by some strange miracle - I feel fantastic :yippe:
Beep boop. I'm a bot.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    can totally understand why you feel so fantastic....id imagine its bcos you've had your suspicions about him and his feeling confirmed.
    you sound over her, at least for the most part, and its good to vent on here.
    and when he gets cold feet and leaves her, you'll be strong enough to tell her to get lost if she comes crawling back to you!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't see them lasting which perhaps is a bad thing to say but is also my prerogative as the person whose heart was broken by that fucking bitch in the first place.

    I consider myself an excellent judge of character and my inkling that he was a spineless coward has proved itself to be correct.

    I'd like to see him fly 6,000 miles around the globe to be with her for 24 hours because he blatantly wouldn't.

    Oh well - her loss. Fuck her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure that they decided to go at it now, and hadn't planned it ages ago :rolleyes:

    You're justified in being angry, and I'm glad that you've taken it as liberating rather than crushing. At the same time they're justified- why stay in a relationship if you don't want it? I doubt you'll see either of them again, I certainly wouldn't consider him a friend after doing that, but hey ho.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like it IS her loss! you've been proved right and come out on top.....good for you!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I'm sure that they decided to go at it now, and hadn't planned it ages ago :rolleyes:

    You're justified in being angry, and I'm glad that you've taken it as liberating rather than crushing. At the same time they're justified- why stay in a relationship if you don't want it? I doubt you'll see either of them again, I certainly wouldn't consider him a friend after doing that, but hey ho.

    Not sure but it does feel like she took her newly liberated self and ran into the first guy's arms she could. She says he totally kept his distance during the break up but I really don't care. She wasn't the same since she went away and I'm now totally over it.

    Not angry, I kinda feel liberated myself.

    They won't last but I really couldn't give a shit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh well - her loss. Fuck her.

    Sing it! :thumb:

    Not a pleasant situation to be in at all, and he does indeed sound like a complete spoofer with no semblance of a backbone. But at least having been told that means you have been liberated to move on rather than what you would've been doing - biding your time until her return in case you might give things another shot.

    Onward and upward, plenty more fish in the sea (unless you're into cod :razz: ) and all that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi wrote:
    Sing it! :thumb:

    Not a pleasant situation to be in at all, and he does indeed sound like a complete spoofer with no semblance of a backbone. But at least having been told that means you have been liberated to move on rather than what you would've been doing - biding your time until her return in case you might give things another shot.

    Onward and upward, plenty more fish in the sea (unless you're into cod :razz: ) and all that.

    Cod = :yuck:

    Possibly it is just having everything out in the open that means that I can get totally over it.

    Fuck them. They betrayed my trust and my friendship and are now deserving of neither. Spineless cowards the pair of them. Fuck them, I've got better things to do.

    [plus I know for a fact that he has a bedroom repertoire of *3* positions :D]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cool you can now go and snog other girls and not feel bad about it.

    I'm guessing you may well have been holding yourself back because you thought there might be the chance for reconcilliation.

    I don't know the whole story but i'm guessing she dumped you?

    However she is probably on the rebound with this other bloke and lucky for him he just "happens" to be there. It probably won't last for them much beyond travelling but tbh you shouldn't even care weather it lasts or not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Be thankful that she has let you know rather than you just finding out one day. Least it shows they do have some respect for you..or at least she does
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tbh, if it was me, I'd probably be happier (in a way) if a friend actually genuinely liked my ex, rather than just using her to get his end away. I mean, I don't think the second one can really be helped, which doesn't make it any less shitty for you of course. But if a friend knew it'd piss me off, then he'd better have a good reason for doing it, which means he'd better really like her. Be glad that you know for sure now, and like you said, it's her loss.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wyetry wrote:
    Cool you can now go and snog other girls and not feel bad about it.

    I'm guessing you may well have been holding yourself back because you thought there might be the chance for reconcilliation.

    I don't know the whole story but i'm guessing she dumped you?

    Yeah spot on.

    Original thread is here
    Wyetry wrote:
    However she is probably on the rebound with this other bloke and lucky for him he just "happens" to be there. It probably won't last for them much beyond travelling but tbh you shouldn't even care weather it lasts or not.

    Nah. Plus they have been friends for like 3 years. It will only complicate things. Don't really give a shit. They can go fuck themselves for all I care.

    It's a new year and I'm going to make a new start. Fuck knows I deserve it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're not overreacting at all mate, when one of my ex's broke up with me and went out with my best friend, on purpose might I add, I sent her one of the most angry emails I have ever sent anyone and whenever I saw her around college I'd spit on the floor in front of her and stuff lol, and yes it made me feel so good.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh well big hugs to you though.

    Having been the one doing the dumping in this situation its almost as hard to break up with your first proper boyfriend/girlfriend as it is to be dumped by them.

    Its all very exciting for you though now plus I have someone else's love life to get excited about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah i've just been going through the same kind of thing, my boyfriendand i got together and then i had to move to the UK which we were both really upset about and the first week i was here he sent loads of msg's saying how he misses me and loves me and then the next thing I know he's out with my BEST FRIEND! and he says i'm the one then with trust issues... yeah right, worst thing of all i didn't even find it out from him, rather from his friends... bril
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wyetry wrote:
    Oh well big hugs to you though.

    Having been the one doing the dumping in this situation its almost as hard to break up with your first proper boyfriend/girlfriend as it is to be dumped by them.

    Its all very exciting for you though now plus I have someone else's love life to get excited about.

    Yeah I guess the first one is the hardest. However, having people say that to you doesn't make it any easier! I guess you realise who your friends really are in situations like this.

    Meh, not that exciting - I have finals to do!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I guess the first one is the hardest. However, having people say that to you doesn't make it any easier! I guess you realise who your friends really are in situations like this.

    No its always hard and there isn't anything anyone can say that makes it better (at least for the first few days anyway). Though i'm probably mildly evil as I kind of stole one of my ex's close friends after we broke up - but they had mainly grown apart by then though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i rate that all the mean people in relationships don't deserve us good people, i think that they should all go date each other and get a taste of their own medicine while the good guys live a life happiy with someone who respects them for who they are - oh well, would be nice but i guess we all gotta learn and be hurt in one way or another
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