First Impressions

Former Member · January 2001

Who here goes off first impressions when they see someone? I was talking to a girl fromcollege a couple of weeks ago and she said the first impression she had of me is that "I was a boring little rich kid" lol. She then admitted that when she got to know me that I was dead down to earth!

How the hell do I get rid of this? I'm not boring! I'm just shy around people I don't really know and I sure as hell ain't rich! I tend to dress smart but now I'm beginning to change my image by wearing rock T-Shirts & stuff.

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue

Former Member · January 2001

You can't get rid of an image without changing urself, and to change urself will only give you another image - more often that not, one you don't wont. So don't bother. You'll just have to get to know people, and work on the shyness factor.

I've not lost my mind it's inserted elsewhere - hence the limp.

Former Member · January 2001

LOL I know I just don't want the boring little rich kid looking guy lol

Oh and I'm 6'3" so I'm not LITTLE lol

Smash forehead on keyboard to continue

Former Member · January 2001

'little' is just a psychological phrasing in this case meaning that she sort of sees u as a bit pathetic, but we all know that's not true <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">. Changing your outward image will do wonders for this but don't do it unless you feel comfortable doing it, why should you jump through hoops to please people who are so short sighted they can't see a nice bloke when he's standing in front of them.
Of course if you feel fine with changing your image then i thnk you'll be pleasantly surprised with the result

This Is A Public Warning: Monkeys can be harmful if swallowed in large quantities

Former Member · January 2001

Everyone is given a label in society whether it be "boring little rich kid" or whatever. I am probably "the little quiet girl". Of course, u r obviously much more than these stereotypes, but most people can only c it if u go against what society has labelled u as.

Don't change ur image to try to make people aware. If the can't take the time and effort to see the "real" you under all the exterior then they are probably not worth it <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">

Do your own thing, prove them wrong, but creating a new image for you isn't the way to go. I know bcoz once i got into the "cool" crowd i put on a really extrovert act and it wasn't me at all and i wasn't happy because i wasn't being me.

Once i realised how shallow the people around me were, and if they didn't like me for who i was then i would leave them and find people who liked me for "me".

Which i did, but now i'm back to being the "little quiet girl". OK, it's not something that i necesarrily want to be stereotyped as, but i least i know the real me inside <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.

Former Member · January 2001

turtle made uber poster - congrats <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.

Girl-From-Mars · January 2001

i agree with drifter, dont go changing your image to try and change the stereotype. you're always going to have some way that people see you as, whether its a boring rich kid (which we all know isnt true!!) or a mad punk or the bad G word thats not too popular around here, or whatever. ive always been the "square" who has no social life and no friends and just hangs around with people who dont really like her and who does nothing but, and cares about nothing but work.

now that isnt me at all!! people only got this impression because ive done quite well in school my whole life, lucky genes <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> its not coz i work 24/7 like people think. the ones that get to know me know this isnt true. it used to frustrate me, the fact people thought i was boring and quiet. i wasnt loud in class because i was quite shy and didnt like public speaking AT ALL.

but now ive become a bit more outgoing, i didnt do it for any purpose, it just happened that when i started the 6th form i felt more comfortable with myself and speaking in front of people. ironically, now that people are seeing me as a bit less boring and see me going out more and stuff, i dont really care what they think of me, well not the ones who dont matter anyway. if people cant be bothered to take the time to get to know you for who you are, then they're not worth it. their loss <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.

Former Member · February 2001

Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
i wasnt loud in class because i was quite shy and didnt like public speaking AT ALL.

but now ive become a bit more outgoing, i didnt do it for any purpose, it just happened that when i started the 6th form i felt more comfortable with myself and speaking in front of people.

How did u get more comfortable with yourself? Every time i have to speak or read in front of the class i get tongue tied, breathless, hot and red-faced and i can't get the words out <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">

I wish i was more confident

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.

Girl-From-Mars · February 2001

i know how you feel drifter. sometimes if i get asked questions i still go red and get embarrassed, and i cant say some words, for no apparent reason, theyre just impossible to say unless i concentrate beforehand. happened today, i had to say "degenerated" in the middle of a sentence and couldnt!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/redface.gif">

i think my confidence may have had something to do with starting going out with my ex boyfriend during the summer holidays after gcses. i guess it was that someone had finally accepted me for who i was, and who would love me for being me. and i loved him too. and i think that may have given me more confidence in myself. although im not saying you should go out there and get a boyfriend just to give you confidence!

and it might not even be that. it might have been just the fact there were smaller classes, i was with people i didnt know too well and so i didnt feel embarrassed talking in front of them (although one of them in my class had made me feel really small and stupid by making jokes at my expense, but hes a good guy really). there was a more relaxed atmosphere, we were all back in school because we wanted to be there and it wasnt on the school's terms, it was optional and we were doing what we enjoyed and what we were good at. and we werent wearing uniform and got to wear our own clothes. i dunno, maybe these were all contributing factors.

when you feel yourself about to go red, or get asked a question in school, try as hard as possible to distract your mind totally, think of cold things, ice, the sea, stuff like that. it sometimes helps!!

sorry if this hasnt been too much help.

If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.

Former Member · February 2001

i started up a new thread about it
http://www.thesite.org/ubb/Forum7/HTML/000112.html

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.

First Impressions

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