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met a new guy....advice needed on going out, etc

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
well....good start to xmas, i met a lovely guy last nite! he asked for my number+txt me as soon as i left the party! Now, my question is, is it too forward for me to txt him tomo and ask to see him 1 nite this week - just the 2 of us?? or will it freak him out? Blah, im not good with men, but really like him.....so please give me advice!
thanx
L+C

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well....good start to xmas, i met a lovely guy last nite! he asked for my number+txt me as soon as i left the party! Now, my question is, is it too forward for me to txt him tomo and ask to see him 1 nite this week - just the 2 of us?? or will it freak him out? Blah, im not good with men, but really like him.....so please give me advice!
    thanx
    L+C

    It will not freak him out. Text him and ask him out.

    good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    was just thinkin of txtin him sayin summat like; hey.just wondered if u fancied goin out somewhere 1 nite?maybe cinema?

    or is the cinema too cliche? not sure where else i cud suggest on a date? (trying to avoid alcohol) any other ideas of places 2 go on a first date?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think a cinema's dates nice enough. You're in each others company, I find myself sometimes getting shy, or find myself looking for something to say - so you're not spending the whole time in conversation and after you can talk about the film and such, got for a walk around or something?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    see, that was my idea....i just dont know if its too soon to suggest to him? is there a certain amount of time a girl should leave?
    L+C
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    see, that was my idea....i just dont know if its too soon to suggest to him? is there a certain amount of time a girl should leave?
    L+C

    NO! Just do the decision making out of your tummy. Wondering if you should let him wait for a few days is because so many people are miserable.

    "omg, why wont he/she call me?"
    "omg, I need to wait longer!!! but I'd like to call him."

    a pub is nice too, you don't need to drink alcohol, or not much at least.
    cinema is a nice idea too, but make it more concrete.

    Ask him if he wants to mee up (which he wants eitherwise) and if yes if (for example) wednesday the 27th was ok with him? tell him you will call him up on 27th afternoon.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx strubbleS...im going to text him asking if he fancies going to the cinema sometime next week - i think im just scared that he's only after 1 thing (which seems to keep happening to me :( )
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how that feels but sometimes you have to take the plunge and hope for the best otherwise these things would never take off the ground :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it was me I would wait for him to ask me out. I know it's old fashioned but I think men like to be the ones in control.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx strubbleS...im going to text him asking if he fancies going to the cinema sometime next week - i think im just scared that he's only after 1 thing (which seems to keep happening to me :( )

    Well, I'd wish somebody would be after me for ANY KIND of motive :razz:
    don't complain.

    If you take it easy and don't let him in your panties, you'll easily sort out the guys who are interested in you and therefore have patience, or those who'll fuck off again.
    PussyKatty wrote:
    If it was me I would wait for him to ask me out. I know it's old fashioned but I think men like to be the ones in control.

    That's one of the 'playing a game' thing again. Just act out of your tummy L+C. If you want to ask him out, do so and don't wait for him to do it. Moreoever DID I kind of ask out a girl, and we did go out, but there wasn't any positive or negative input. If you know what I mean. I don't know how it should be going on now. Is she waiting for me to ask her out? Is she not interested, because she's not doing anything for it?
    Cut that crap out, it's difficult already as it is.

    You like the person? Ask him/her out, and don't wait for anyone to take initiative.

    + about the men being in control. Being in control and being clueless what to do are 2 different things. It's a really beautiful thing if a girl aks YOU out, because then you know, she really wants to go out with you, and you really feel appreciated (oh yea! we men have feelings too!!). Moreoever it is a sign of taking the next step for the man, it's about interaction of the two parties.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    good advice, thank you. im gonna follow it because i really like this guy! he's up for going out anyways, he's gonna txt me about it tomo!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Another idea is to go for coffee somewhere. As that would be a daytime date, he'd be less likely to go for it if he was only after one thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wildchild wrote:
    Another idea is to go for coffee somewhere. As that would be a daytime date, he'd be less likely to go for it if he was only after one thing.

    well, assuming things go well, that sounds like a nice suggestion 4 another date! im not good with all this+ i tend to read too much into things+worry alot :(

    ok guys, another Q - first date to cinema outfits?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not really about playing games for me, I would just rather be asked out by a guy than ask them out. I would let them know I was interested and then leave it up to them to ask me. I prefer to have them be after me than vice versa and in my experience guys tend to lose interest if you show them how much you like them. Too much, too strong etc. That may just be me though. I'm not saying lost and confused shouldn't ask him out! Everyone is different.

    Ideas for dates: go to pub, go to arcade, ice skating, bowling, dinner, fun fair, party, even just for a walk in the park. You'll soon find out if he's only after one thing, just hold back and if he's only after sex he will soon stop texting/calling.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pussy katty - thats kind of what i was worrying about, kind of coming on too strong+scaring him off. but he's up for it, so surely thats a good sign? recently ive not been too good at waiting around, so im just taking matters into my own hands. StrubbleS, i do hope this guy's like how u wud be+appreciates how much i like him
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was just saying he broke the ice by talking her up and asking for her number. Out of courtesy it would be nice for the girl to take the next step. the girl already knows that the boy is interested, but not vice versa yet!

    That's what I was implying. Interacting, in the sense that the girl makes metaphorical steps towards the boy is not running after him and has never driven anyone off o0

    /edit: every guy is flattered when he talks up/asks out a girl and feels affection coming from her back. That's what it's all about. You can't go wrong if you don't cling or spam him with txts or something like that now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Speaking as a bloke I'd love it if a girl would ask me out rather than leaving it up to me every time. Obviously not if I haven't shown any interest but in this case I think it'd be a good idea to do it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PussyKatty wrote:
    It's not really about playing games for me, I would just rather be asked out by a guy than ask them out. I would let them know I was interested and then leave it up to them to ask me. I prefer to have them be after me than vice versa and in my experience guys tend to lose interest if you show them how much you like them. Too much, too strong etc. That may just be me though. I'm not saying lost and confused shouldn't ask him out! Everyone is different.

    Ideas for dates: go to pub, go to arcade, ice skating, bowling, dinner, fun fair, party, even just for a walk in the park. You'll soon find out if he's only after one thing, just hold back and if he's only after sex he will soon stop texting/calling.

    Are you one of those whose too scared of losing face by asking a guy so will only go out with a guy if they get asked? Just curious, as I know some girls like that, but they think it's perfectly fine for a guy to look like a plonker when he asks a girl out :confused:

    And as for the cinema outfit; smart casual with a small amount of make up i.e. lip gloss / mascara and some lovely smelly stuff. I love it when a girl makes an effort :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally wait a few days, see if he asks me, if he doesn't but I get the interested vibes then I asl for a date.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you one of those whose too scared of losing face by asking a guy so will only go out with a guy if they get asked? Just curious, as I know some girls like that, but they think it's perfectly fine for a guy to look like a plonker when he asks a girl out :confused:

    It's not really about being scared...I have never asked a guy out, I prefer to drop hints, make it fairly obvious I am interested and then leave it up to them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PussyKatty wrote:
    It's not really about being scared...I have never asked a guy out, I prefer to drop hints, make it fairly obvious I am interested and then leave it up to them.

    I'd be more interested if a girl took the initiative. I'm sick of this norm, that girls shouldn't feel inclined to ask a guy out. Come on, it's hard enough for us guys to do that, cut us some slack. :rolleyes: And it is sexy with straightforward girls, i have to say. :yes:
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