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Working and depression

MixBotMixBot Posts: 8,656 Automated Account
I have a slight dilemma:
On Monday I got told that my tutor would be coming up to see how I'm getting on at my work placement. She came up yesterday and had a chat with the deputy manager. (manager isn't always around as she also manages somewhere else I think)

Today we got some feedback about how the workers think we're getting on, settling in, etc. Anyway, it basically said that they don't think this job is for me because I'm not motivated, but do seem to get on very well with the babies (my work placement is based in a nursery) now, the thing is I'm not motivated because I'm just depressed all the time (not seen a doctor about this, but from what I mentioned to a friend of mine, that's what he thinks it might be and other people have asked me the tsame thing)

Made a thread in the Hwalth forum last week and got advised not to say anything because the staff might see me as a danger to the children or something like that.

Now, do I tell anyone and risk being kicked off my course and out of my placement or do I keep quiet and act as though nothing is wrong? Bearing in mind that if I was to keep quiet about this, I'm going to be the same as I've been for the last month - not motivated and not joining in with anything.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    I have a slight dilemma:
    On Monday I got told that my tutor would be coming up to see how I'm getting on at my work placement. She came up yesterday and had a chat with the deputy manager. (manager isn't always around as she also manages somewhere else I think)

    Today we got some feedback about how the workers think we're getting on, settling in, etc. Anyway, it basically said that they don't think this job is for me because I'm not motivated, but do seem to get on very well with the babies (my work placement is based in a nursery) now, the thing is I'm not motivated because I'm just depressed all the time (not seen a doctor about this, but from what I mentioned to a friend of mine, that's what he thinks it might be and other people have asked me the tsame thing)

    Made a thread in the Hwalth forum last week and got advised not to say anything because the staff might see me as a danger to the children or something like that.

    Now, do I tell anyone and risk being kicked off my course and out of my placement or do I keep quiet and act as though nothing is wrong? Bearing in mind that if I was to keep quiet about this, I'm going to be the same as I've been for the last month - not motivated and not joining in with anything.
    IMHO

    By the sounds of it the staff dont think your up for the job because the way you feel and been acting, so you have nothing to lose in a sense. I would be honest and tell them. Who knows, it may go better than you think. Is there any counseling sessions from the college/uni place you go?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have no idea, tbh. And my parents don't know about any of this either, which makes it slightly more complicated.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should firstly get yourself to your GP. They can't tell anyone anything without your permission. I have worked with children in the past whilst self-harming and the doctors didn't have a problem with this at all.

    I would then suggest you tell your tutors that you are depressed (but not mention that you self-harm) and if necessary get a letter from your doctor for them (which needn't say anything about self-harm).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote:
    I think you should firstly get yourself to your GP. They can't tell anyone anything without your permission. I have worked with children in the past whilst self-harming and the doctors didn't have a problem with this at all.

    I would then suggest you tell your tutors that you are depressed (but not mention that you self-harm) and if necessary get a letter from your doctor for them (which needn't say anything about self-harm).

    Correct me if I'm wrong here (I think someone on here said this) but if the doctors think I'm a 'danger' of some sort, don't they have the right to tell my parents?:confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    Correct me if I'm wrong here (I think someone on here said this) but if the doctors think I'm a 'danger' of some sort, don't they have the right to tell my parents?:confused:
    Only if your under 16.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    Correct me if I'm wrong here (I think someone on here said this) but if the doctors think I'm a 'danger' of some sort, don't they have the right to tell my parents?:confused:
    No they don't. And to be honest they are highly unlikely to consider you dangerous in that sense. Thousands and thousands of people go to their GP for self-harm problems and they don't all get locked up or anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    Correct me if I'm wrong here (I think someone on here said this) but if the doctors think I'm a 'danger' of some sort, don't they have the right to tell my parents?:confused:

    AFAIK it's not the doctor that detirmines that you're a danger to the children, it's your boss. The doctor can only advise you with health matters (confidentially of course), and it's therefore up to your work placement to decide if you are a danger.

    This is how it worked at the nursery I worked in, and my mums nursery.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're under 16 and a danger to yourself, or your doctor thinks that you do not understand the decisions you are making then they have to inform your guardians.

    Other than that they only have to tell someone if they think you are actively dangerous because of your condition (ie if you were a paedophile).

    The advice not to tell your employer/college was based on an assumption that you were doing ok there. It seems that your not doing as well as you might be so I would suggest it's time for a rethink.

    Remember it is very possible to say you are miserable/depressed and having trouble motivating yourself without mentioning to course/placement that you have self harmed.

    My suggestions would be:
    1) to make an appointment with your GP to talk about some of the problems you've been having and get some advice from them, medically.

    2) to talk to your tutor about the feedback you've had, explain that you've been having problems more generally but that you're really keen to make the course and your placement work and ask for more support and feedback on things your doing right as well as what's less good.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Scary Monster - what you've suggested seems like a good idea and I think I'm going to do it, thanks.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No problem, all the best with it. Apart from anything else you'll make yourself feel better that you're doing something!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    Now, do I tell anyone and risk being kicked off my course and out of my placement or do I keep quiet and act as though nothing is wrong? Bearing in mind that if I was to keep quiet about this, I'm going to be the same as I've been for the last month - not motivated and not joining in with anything.
    you get help from your gp or a counselor away from where you are studying. without telling your tutors. - having help will help you to get better so you can work at your best. but if you tell, you really do run a high risk as being seen to be unfit to do your job with the self harm and working with kids.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Otter
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't forget that you can tell your tutors about the depression without telling them about the self harm.

    For your GP/counsellor to break confidentiality they'd have to be convinced that you are a risk to the children, as in you may harm them, which isn't going to happen, so be honest with your GP.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also, i know its hard but from my experience you're doing well to have the motivation to go to work. I suppose you have to try tell yourself that. well at least be concious of that fact.

    It might help
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Were you depressed before or after you started the job?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    After. And it's not job/course related.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you are diagnosed with depression then you fall under the DDA and the college needs to make 'reasonable adjustments' for you otherwise it is breaking the law. This could mean that comments from the centre's are taken in context and you are still given a good mark.

    I would mention it to your tutor, but not the workplace, it isnt for you to be detailing that sort of thing to a work placement.
  • TammyGTammyG Noob Posts: 15 Confirmed not a robot
    If you think you may have depression you should definitely go see your GP as this can be treated. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    talk to your tutor. i have been through the exact same thing, mind you not the self harming but with depression. i was training to be a nursery nurse and had the same problem. spoke to people at college about it and with a blip or two i got it sorted and have been a qulified nursery nurse for over 2 years. it was tough and i thought about jacking it all in.
    speak to someone you can trust within the college. if its any type of decent college they will help you.
    hang in there. you will get there if you seek help.
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