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moraly questionable situation?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
finally found the girl of my dreams, and she likes me too, we get along amazingly. small problem, she has already got a boyfriend, i know its wrong and i dont need people telling me that but i have to try it so i was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to win her heart?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If she really likes you, you won't need to win her heart. If it's meant to be, her other relationship won't last and you'll be there to pick up the pieces. But don't under any circumstances start talking about her being something to be won. In the meantime, get on with your life and look at seeing other girls. She's far more likely to end up with you if she really likes you, and thinks she might miss her opportunity, rather than knowing that you're sitting there waiting for her. So my best advice is to get on with your life, and carrying on seeing her however you do currently (and flirting with her, to keep her thinking about you in 'that' way), and if it's meant to be, it'll happen eventually.

    On a slightly related note, it kinda sounds like you're already putting too much pressure on something that hasn't even started yet. That's a sure-fire way to end up disappointed, (and freak her out) so cool it. She's not the "girl of your dreams" who you've "finally found." She's a nice girl who you like and who gets along with you.

    ETA: Oh and it's not morally questionable, unless the bloke's your best friend or something, or you actively try and break them up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She's with someone, so I wouldn't bother if I was you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    She's with someone, so I wouldn't bother if I was you.
    hmmm

    plenty of people in relationships end up with someone else! just because she in a relationship, doesnt mean she wants to be in it, or wont consider ending it for the right person

    to the OP, if she likes you as much as you/she says, she`ll end her relationship and be with you

    if she doesnt do that, leave it alone, not worth the hassle
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    hmmm

    plenty of people in relationships end up with someone else! just because she in a relationship, doesnt mean she wants to be in it, or wont consider ending it for the right person

    Sorry, I haven't exactly explained myself, have I?:blush:

    What I mean is, whilst she is with someone else, DON'T try to break them up or make her end it. If she's happy, she's happy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "Girls of your dreams" are like buses- even if you miss one, another one will be along soon.

    If she's happy with her bf you won't split them, you'll just end up being thought of as a cock; if she isn't happy I'm sure you'll be around to collect the pieces soon enough.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    Sorry, I haven't exactly explained myself, have I?:blush:

    What I mean is, whilst she is with someone else, DON'T try to break them up or make her end it. If she's happy, she's happy.
    :yes: she might not be happy though....he needs to ask her really

    it might be a relationship of convenience

    i think maybe he should find all this out though.........
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If the relationship isn't right I'm sure it'll end soon but until then there's not much he can do about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why would you want another man's girl and how would you ever trust her?
    How can the girl of your dreams not be single?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just remember, stealing peoples girlfriends can have serious consequences!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jonny8888 wrote:
    Just remember, stealing peoples girlfriends can have serious consequences!


    You can't steal somebodies girlfriend, as They aren't somebodies property to steal!

    I think you should just ask her If she wants to be with you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do get annoyed with people who say

    'oh, s/he's with someone... I wouldn't bother, it's not going to happen'

    How can you possibly know the circumstances of the relationship? Hell - i've been in a relationship of convenience before... i'm not proud of myself but i've been in a situation of being with someone just to be with someone... however if someone better had come along id've dumped them in a trice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    VinylVicky wrote:
    Why would you want another man's girl and how would you ever trust her?
    You would assume that you are so well suited that she wouldn't want to look for another relationship. Leaving your boyfriend for someone else doesn't make you a serial cheater or anything. It just means that you weren't happy in that relationship, so you ended it and went out with someone who you get on better with. And as long as that situation and the way she feels about you doesn't change, there is no risk of her leaving for someone else.

    Plenty of people have relationships just for the sake of having one (then wonder why they did it, when someone they really like comes along). Plenty of relationships might have been great at the start, but the person feels it has become stagnent or something. Plenty of people have a boyfriend for a month or so before they realise that they're probably not going to fall in love with them, so they end it. Or any number of other reasons people might not be happy in their relationships. And any of these people would swap what they have for someone they feel a real connection with.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yohanes13 wrote:
    finally found the girl of my dreams, and she likes me too, we get along amazingly. small problem, she has already got a boyfriend, i know its wrong and i dont need people telling me that but i have to try it so i was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to win her heart?

    Same situation, different username (StrubbleS), different country, same girl (of my dreams).


    It did not work. Don't stand inbetween them and don't actively court for them, if they are in a stable relationship.

    It will end terrible for you.

    I know, you won't take my advice and still try to get inbetween them and win over the girl, so good luck with enduring the agony later on. (especially if she avoids you, because she can't handle a boy eshewing her, when she's in a happy rlship)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can't steal somebodies girlfriend, as They aren't somebodies property to steal!

    I think you should just ask her If she wants to be with you.

    True, but I don't think Johnny is exactly saying that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just to awnser a few questions and to give an update, there not that happy hes not goodenough for her they live together but he doesnt help her do anything round the house plus he got a gambling problem and no real job so takes her money to fund it, i had her complaininhg about him to me yesterday, is that a good sighn, when you say "girl of my dreams" come along all the time its not like that ive only ever found 3 girls attracvtive in my life and this is the only one ive ever "really" liked, its killing me id treat her so much better
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yohanes13 wrote:
    just to awnser a few questions and to give an update, there not that happy hes not goodenough for her they live together but he doesnt help her do anything round the house plus he got a gambling problem and no real job so takes her money to fund it, i had her complaininhg about him to me yesterday, is that a good sighn, when you say "girl of my dreams" come along all the time its not like that ive only ever found 3 girls attracvtive in my life and this is the only one ive ever "really" liked, its killing me id treat her so much better

    It's a good sign! but still don't rush things! If you try to interfere with the break-up it will be picked up as a rushing and you decrease your chances.

    Moreover: Don't be 24/7 there for her so she can pour out your heart to you! That shit is getting you faster friends zoned than a a white man raped in compton!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If she likes you enough then she would leave her bf regardless of what you did to try and "win her heart" And like vinyl vicky said how could you trust her in future if she'd leave her bf for you then theres a good chance she myt do it in future
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's fairly easy to ruin a relationship, and get 5 minutes with her. Basic flattery, humour and flirting will get you that far.

    But then, and I bet a real £50 note, that she will lose interest, because she wasn't interested in you, she was interested in flirting, and she'll be devastated she's lost the guy she loves.

    On the other hand, if she wants you, then just leave it alone, and she'll break up with him, and then you two can get together.
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