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worried about appearing too keen with a guy

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok, is it too keen to ask a guy out on a date? long story short; met a guy, mate gave him my number+he txt me.asked me to meet up lots over the weekend, but i was busy whenever he asked. but i liked him alot, so i changed my plans+saw him....and now i cant stop thinking about him. i like him so much, so ive just text him askin does he wana see a film or something 2nite?
i feel like its a guys place to do this....but ive not got a problem with doing it either, just dont wana scare him off. he's so nice+i cant stop thinking about him :banghead:
L+C

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why is it a guys place to do it?

    don't be so old fashioned. :p

    if you never asked to see him or anything he'd think you weren't interested.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know.....but i dont want him to think im sad cos im so keen.
    im so sad....everytime i get a txt i feel sick im so excited it could be him!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm sure he won't mind. afterall wasn't he the one being keen over the weekend?! you only asked him out don't worry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol.....im worrying so much though! and then wen i text he sometimes takes a while to reply+im impatient bcos i like him :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    did he reply in the end?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i feel like its a guys place to do this....but ive not got a problem with doing it either, just dont wana scare him off. he's so nice+i cant stop thinking about him :banghead:
    L+C

    I have, and would again, lost interest in girls who don't make any moves. I get fed up with doing all the chasing (texting, calling etc). It's ok up to a point, but when it's me always aranging to meet then I just can't be bothered, so yes, text him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    red jelly - good point. but so far its been me thats suggested both times we meet up. he's agreed+we have a good time, but i cant help but worry he thinks im mythering him.
    ive decided im gonna let him text me next now...see if he likes me as much as i like him
    L+C
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    red jelly - good point. but so far its been me thats suggested both times we meet up. he's agreed+we have a good time, but i cant help but worry he thinks im mythering him.
    ive decided im gonna let him text me next now...see if he likes me as much as i like him
    L+C

    Hi L&C, stop fretting or it will come across in your texts and when you meet him. The last thing you want him thinking is that you are needy and vulnerable.

    Try and concentrate on having a laugh and exploring each others personalities etc, etc, etc. Basically have fun and chill out together. If you are worrying about what he might be thinking or feeling then you will do yourself no good whatsoever.

    Wouldn't it be just so nice to sit on the veranda of a pub, or the window seat of a resturant and just sit, chill and people watch for a bit.

    Anyway, it sounds like he is as keen as mustard on you too. Just let it flow and you will both have a super Xmas. Nothing like falling in love in the Winter. All snuggles under a blanket and Winter comfort food. Mmmmmm :love:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cheers winter bum (he he, your username made me giggle)!
    i dont want to set myself up for a big fall, by liking him loads+then it turning out he doesnt like me as much and i end up getting hurt. So, ive decided im just gonna leave it til tomo/fri to text him....and just send him a casual text asking how he is+wot he's been upto etc.
    alot of poeple, like me for example, text alot....bu tthen some ppl get annoyed by texting,....and since i dont know how he feels about texting, im scared of pissing him off!
    any more advice?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Seriously, all this game playing is not good. Just text him every day if you feel like it :). The fact he's agreed both times to go out with you says volumes!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Seriously, all this game playing is not good. Just text him every day if you feel like it :). The fact he's agreed both times to go out with you says volumes!

    :yes:

    in all my successful (ish?) relationships i've just done what I wanted and not played games, just text/called when I wanted and asked to see the girl as much as possible. It's much easier on me that way, and if they don't like it then things obviously weren't meant to be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heh, my longest and best relationship I texted her every single day, rang her every day, told her to go on msn, was pretty obsessed with her. She liked the attention because she liked me too! :p

    Sometimes I would turn up at her house at 9pm after a 40 minute walk to talk to her for half hour before she went bed. She would give me a kiss on the cheek those times.

    Ahhh, to be young again :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know.....but i dont want him to think im sad cos im so keen.

    What's sad about it? I called my boyfriend up one or two days after meeting him to arrange the next date, couldn't be bothered arsing around and worrying about phoning and texting etiquette. You're bound to be keen in the early stages of a relationship, and from what you've said, it sounds like he is too! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx guys. im not trying to play games with him, just so worried about scaring him off. i really really like him, but dont want him to be like "oh my god, not HER textin me AGAIN!!" going to text him tomo anyways, but cant tonight as im in work.
    just driving me mad bcos i cant stop thinking about him :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if he likes you he shouldn't be bothered if you txt him.

    the only time i think he'd be worried is if you bombared him with messages every half hour.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If texting and wanting to meet up with someone you like (and might want to have a bit of fun/relationship with) is being too keen then I don't know what the world is coming to.

    If telling someone you like them and contacting them (not constantly, but to say "hey" and possibly set up dates) is wrong then I don't wanna be right! :thumb:

    HOWEVER, since you seem to be of the opinion (whether founded or unfounded) that maybe he's holding back for some reason or other, or is playing his own daft wee games. Well that would make me take a babystep back and I definitely think you're right not to contact him now. The ball is in his court now, but I'm sure he'll bat it right back to you if you give him a little space to see how utterly fabulous you are and how much he's already missing your company ;)

    Just chill, honey, some people go running into things all guns blazing and some like to have a little time to ponder and chill with their thoughts. If it's going to happen it'll happen whether you send one too few or one too many texts!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agree with briggi, however, I have been on the end of a text-freaks multi-texts and it does get pretty annoying after the infactuation wears off. Especially when they start to read all manner of things into your texts back, and try and 2nd guess your mood and attitude by them.

    :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx guys. im not trying to play games with him, just so worried about scaring him off. i really really like him, but dont want him to be like "oh my god, not HER textin me AGAIN!!" going to text him tomo anyways, but cant tonight as im in work.
    just driving me mad bcos i cant stop thinking about him :(
    just don't over do it, it's not about games but good things come to those that wait!
    a little chasing on both parts seriously gets you better results.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, I think we are over-egging the pudding here. Play the flirting game - that's what I have been trying to say but it never quite came out anything like.

    Text how much you want him, blah, blah, blah..... What you are going to do to him when you see him, blah, blah, blah....

    Don't text "when will I see you" type demands or "what do you mean by that" or "why didn't you text me back??? U gone off me???"

    You know what I am saying...;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi, thank you! your post has really reassured me. i guess im just worrying too much bcos ive never liked someone this much+i like everything about him, so dont wana mess things up!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok, is it too keen to ask a guy out on a date? long story short; met a guy, mate gave him my number+he txt me.asked me to meet up lots over the weekend, but i was busy whenever he asked. but i liked him alot, so i changed my plans+saw him....and now i cant stop thinking about him. i like him so much, so ive just text him askin does he wana see a film or something 2nite?
    i feel like its a guys place to do this....but ive not got a problem with doing it either, just dont wana scare him off. he's so nice+i cant stop thinking about him :banghead:
    L+C

    Some guys are put off by girls appearing too keen at the start...but it all depends on either individual. Letting him contact you first most but not all of the time, say, 60/40, is playing it safe and will maintain his respect.

    Just make sure if one of you is doing most of the running at the start, it's him.
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