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Gender...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Does anybody at times feel they were born in to the wrong body, or that their gender cannot be defined?

I know this sounds really wierd probably, but often I do, not only on a philosophical level but sometimes even on a deeper level. I mean at times I feel kind of womanly and soft and hey... I love kids and want to have them, but often I don't feel like a woman...

Or more, I recognise that my body is that of a woman, but I don't feel like I belong in this body often... That I should have a boy's body, or even an intersex/androgynous body.

Does this make sense or make me wierd or something?

I just don't see the importance of my gender, nor of the gender of other people... Anyone relate?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am pretty throughout a man and usually I like the feats, doesn't mean I am all the way content with that.

    I burp, fart and scratch my nuts in public frequently, and I have a bad mouth if something is not working out as I expected...

    ...usually no features you'll find in your everyday girl.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes i don't feel enough like a girl, but then i don't really think i'd fit as a boy either.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know that it makes you weird, but I dont know how "normal" it is either. Its not my experience, but if it is yours, then i dont see why it isnt normal. Im pretty sure there are plenty of people that would identify with feeling androgynous (im sure I even saw a documentary on it once)
    The way you feel and who YOU are, is just YOU. Even if it wasnt normal, you still have to accept yourself. If you identify as a human being first and foremost rather than a woman, then thats right and good, but I dont know the extent to which you mean it (if that makes sense?)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nope, male through and through.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know that it makes you weird, but I dont know how "normal" it is either.

    Yeah, I suppose it depends how deeply you feel about it. You get loads of tomboys and quite effeminate guys, but if you're really sure that there's something seriously wrong then I guess it'd be a lot deeper than that.

    I don't really like beer and I don't have the slightet bit of macho-ness in me so I'm not an alpha male. If you pushed me I'd say I'm a bit of the girly side, I'm so soppy and I've got all these dreams about stuff. Hard to explain.

    I think sometimes once you're in a good place and you can accept yourself then you just whack on with things.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mentally I can be quite a tomboy but I love having the body and looks of a woman and I'd never want to change that.
    Is it your actual body that doesn't feel right or are you feeling like your mind doesn't match with being a girl?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    VinylVicky wrote:
    Mentally I can be quite a tomboy but I love having the body and looks of a woman and I'd never want to change that.
    Is it your actual body that doesn't feel right or are you feeling like your mind doesn't match with being a girl?
    I dunno... I don't really feel like either? Although more male most of the time...

    One person once told me tha because my father wasn't really around much when I was a kid, I hadn't developed properly as a woman and had got too butch to compensate. Don't like her a lot.

    It isn't something that worries me (some days it does) I just wonder if anybody feels the same... Like theydon't belong as a man or a woman, or don't see how their physical gender is in line with their mental gender.

    That maybe gender is something which transcends our physical bodies.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is it definitely a gender thing or do you think it may be a feeling at not at one with your body in general - maybe related to the dyspraxia?

    only a thought.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    as for the father thing, it may be that but most likely not, as theres such a high number of people who dont have their father around
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dunno... I don't really feel like either? Although more male most of the time...

    One person once told me tha because my father wasn't really around much when I was a kid, I hadn't developed properly as a woman and had got too butch to compensate. Don't like her a lot.

    It isn't something that worries me (some days it does) I just wonder if anybody feels the same... Like theydon't belong as a man or a woman, or don't see how their physical gender is in line with their mental gender.

    That maybe gender is something which transcends our physical bodies.
    Well I've never had a dad and I can be very tomboyish and I know a guy who hasn't ever had a dad and he's quite feminine but I'm sure there are total opposites to that. Everyone's different though, who knows what we would have been like with a dad?
    Maybe you're just not in tune with yourself and just don't know who you are yet. There are so many stereotypes on how certain people have to be a certain way. Learning to accept yourself for who you are and being happy with it is the key to inner piece.
    There are no set rules that just because your body is female that you have to act and feel like the stereotypical woman.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nah, I feel comfortable in my gender and have never considered that possibility. I've never felt any attraction towards males and i do feel in harmony with my body and how we communicate. (:lol:)

    That should sound pretty weird too... ^^.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gender is more of a psychological thing whereas as your sex is biological.

    I don't have much of a girly side, then again I don't walk around like I own the world and am the alpha male. Just a typical bloke I guess.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gender is not a polarised concept moonrat. It is not the same as physical anatomous sex. It is socially conditioned. You can have both 'feminine' and 'masculine' qualities - I know I do! Please dont think it is simple as male and female, because it is much more complex than that.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    I think that, in some ways, I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body. :p Being a lesbian, however, I wouldn't really want any other body.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most of you have heard of a condition called hermaphroditism (or the more politically correct term these days is 'intersex') where a person is born with the fully formed genatalia of BOTH sexes. The subject, apart from their genitalia, is physically and mentally sound in every other way.

    Sometimes, these children are operated on at birth if the doctors decide (guess) that the baby appears to have a female or male inclination and the genitals are modified accordingly. In many cases though, a modified 'girl' grows up with feelings for other women and modified 'boys' grow up feeling something for other men. It seems in these cases, the doctors have made the wrong decision and the psychological makeup of the child was in fact the opposite to the physical modification they performed on the child. So even though, for instance, a child may be brought up as a girl with girls toys etc, the 'nature' side of the brain kicks in at puberty (if not before) and overrides the 'nurture' side.

    I do, therefore, feel that it is possible to have the external features of one sex but internally be the other ... nature does not always make humans to a perfect template and this is what makes humans al the more interesting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I also read (somewhere) that the idea of there only being two sexes is actually very outdated and there is a whole list of inbetweens, about 7 i believe.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I also read (somewhere) that the idea of there only being two sexes is actually very outdated and there is a whole list of inbetweens, about 7 i believe.

    You're absolutely right (although you missed a zero). There are at least 70 variations within Intersex alone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    there used to be a woman who went to my church who was born as both but was operated on as a child to become a man (she was born in a country that favoured men) and moved to the uk so she could have a sex change and become a woman as she had never felt like a man and wasnt comfortable that way.
    I also have a friend who is a very masculin woman, she doesnt just look it, its in her personality as well, she doesnt feel like what we are told women are supposed to be like, and really like it when in the pub one day someone thought she was a man,though sometimes shes still very girly (wanting to get married and have kids for example) i think maybe she feels the same way as you although ive never spoken to her about it.
    i dont think its really a very rare thing anymore to feel that you dont fit into either sex i think like the others have said that theres deffinatly more than 2 sexes these days.
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