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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :( I tried cutting myself just now. (but didn't quite do it)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for replying, it's such a relief to know that someone else knows what I'm going through and thanks for the websites. I just hate feeling like this. I just left his flat coz I couldn't be with him but he doesn't trust me and wants me to go back when I feel I can tonight so that he can look after me which is all very sweet but it feels like my life's being run for me and I really want to cut. I hate this so much, wish it would all just go away. In answer to your question I haven't seen a doctor or anything coz the uni would start asking questions, it's frowned upon for someone diung nursing to be doing something like this if you know what I mean and even though I do want to stop I don't know if I'm ready as I don't have another coping mechanism. Thanks for making me feel welcome, sorry if I sound self-absorbed or attention seeking, just need somewhere to get it all out xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so... empty.
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    omg hi wrote:
    so... empty.

    :(

    Any reason?

    You know where I am, lil sis xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont know.

    everythings just been getting on top of me. i'm sorry, i should have told you.

    meh :(
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    omg hi wrote:
    i dont know.

    everythings just been getting on top of me. i'm sorry, i should have told you.

    meh :(

    Hey, madam, you have *nothing* to be sorry for.

    It's natural for things to mount up and get to you sometimes. It really is. However, you just need to stop and try and get things into perspective. Hard as that may sound :( Talk things through with someone, make lists (that's what I do) and try and focus on the important things - ie, you.

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know. i just can't do this all again, i can't fight it. i've been trying and trying for years,you know, you were there and i'm just back where i started.

    :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's ups in life and there's downs in life.

    I know that you're not as far down as you were before, and you know it too, its just when everything feels sad it does feel as bad as it used to.

    Chin up hon:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you froggy. seriously, thank you for everything. :heart:
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    omg hi wrote:
    i know. i just can't do this all again, i can't fight it. i've been trying and trying for years,you know, you were there and i'm just back where i started.

    :(

    I am willing to bet that you have been in worse places than you are now. You were doing so well. Most people have relapses and recover from them. And I know you definitely can do the same. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for, hunny. You *can* do it. And you don't need to do it alone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why the fucking hell when everything starts going well in one area of my life it starts to completly fuck up in the others. :banghead: I'm not coping with all the worry at the moment. :crying:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why the fucking hell when everything starts going well in one area of my life it starts to completly fuck up in the others. :banghead: I'm not coping with all the worry at the moment. :crying:

    :( Someone who sometimes posts here has just found out about the post I made in this thread earlier and now knows something about me I didn't want him to.:(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bleugh :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's up?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just feel like crap. Can't concentrate or sleep. And I ended up crying myself to sleep last night. :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    changed my mind
    sorry for any problems.
    hope you all get better
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do people grow out of depression and self harming? I know that there are certain age categories where it is most common but why? Do people just stop doing this stuff and stop feeling this way? I only ask, because I'm 27 and I just don't see any way to make myself happy. I've got a lovely boyfriend and we're settled and I've got a good job (albeit one that I hate) but why doesn't that feel like enough? What is enough? What is it that makes some people happy to get up in the morning but not others?

    Oh god. So many questions. I'm so confused. And miserable. And then sometimes I think that I'm just like this because I want to be. That I like to feel down and have something to moan about. Because maybe it makes me different. Because maybe I'll get more attention. I don't get more attention though because I don't tell anyone. It's just the way that self-harmers are portrayed in the media that make me think that.

    Oh. Dear. God. I've just read that back and it makes no sense. My life seems to have no purpose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i wonder the same thing myself
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    changed my mind
    sorry for any problems.
    hope you all get better
    I saw. What's going on buddy?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi sorry to sound utterly selfish but im feeling so shite right now...

    ive just flown to sweden o see my grandma who isnt well and frankly, shes the only reason i came. ive got loads of family here but theyre complete tossers....an uncle who pretends he's mental to get benfefits, his wife, a complete bitch who keeps talking about marriage and putting me on the spot about it in front of everyone - god knows i'm fucking intolerably shy, i mean i can't even go tho the shops without feeling nervous - and i start sweating profuseley, a control freak uncle and his fucking false wife...god i cant stand them - all they do is talk about money as if thats the most important thing in the world- theyre just selfish cunts who undermine everything i do - even if its putting a blanket on my grandma. and all i want to do is fucking scratch 'LUCIEN' on my forearm and im trying so hard not to.

    and then im being bullied at work by 2 cunts who i cant verbally reply to cos ive no fucking back bone and anything i do say will go over their heads and i just wish i could lacerate their smirking faces. and then theres every day shit like people complaining about thier boy/girlfriends as if it's so much better without them. yeah right.

    its like everybody is being a complete cunt , and i know most people are. but i cant find anyone to talk to because i have no mates and no girlfriend as youve probably guessed...and i just wish it would go away.. i guess something like parasuicide would at least tmeporarily stop the world.

    this was so much more eloquent in my head...please dont criticise (though i relaise that thats what at least in part is needed) i dont know if id be able to handle it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Hazell. Sorry things are so rough. I really wish I could say something helpful but right now I need to have a bit of a rant myself.

    I tried strangling myself this morning. My flatmate and her girlfriend (a close friend) are really cross with me because I was (honestly) a bit bitchy at a party and really couldn't stand myself. I broke down in church this evening and couldn't hack it any more so I've run away, back to my parents. I can't face going to uni tomorrow even. I feel like I've got nothing going for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi piccolo, hope you're feeling better today. i'm sorry i cant say anything that'll cheer you up. just try not to feel bad about anything. i just close my eyes and blank it all out.

    take care, ok?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kate.

    keep going sweetheart. please. you have so much going for you, if only you'd see it.

    :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote:
    I tried strangling myself this morning. My flatmate and her girlfriend (a close friend) are really cross with me because I was (honestly) a bit bitchy at a party and really couldn't stand myself. I broke down in church this evening and couldn't hack it any more so I've run away, back to my parents. I can't face going to uni tomorrow even. I feel like I've got nothing going for me.
    :(

    *hugs for you tbh*

    I hope you feel better today. As others have said, you have so much going for you.

    Please feel better soon xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    meh
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    love the franki :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thsi is becoming so frustrating now - I keep trying to self harm myself for no reason at all. :( (but only once have I made myself bleed)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't want to sound like I'm jumping on the bandwagon...

    ...I'm afraid I could be suffering from depression. How do you bring something like this up with your doctor? It's fine if my willy goes blue, or my arm falls off - but how can I say I've stopped wanting to do anything. I know there'll be 10 people waiting to say 'no, you're not depressed you idiot' and I appreciate that.

    But I want to get checked over because things haven't been adding up recently. I don't know whether it's stress related or what, I just want to get on with my life and don't feel quite able to at the minute. I've never been suicidal, I've never cut myself, I don't get hysterically upset, but like - I woke up this morning at 6am and had a lecture at 9. I stayed in bed, not tired, not all cosy, till 10 just till after my lecture finished.

    I really just want to work hard and get a good degree, I've wanted this my whole life, but the past 6 months especially have been a bit shit for me and now I'm staying in all the time and not really going out unless I have to... I'll post more later, got to go post office now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you know where the Doctor's surgery is on campus? Presumably you registered at the start of term but if you didn't then you can register at any time. Seeing as it's a uni surgery, and the vast majority of patients are students then they should be ok to talk to about this. Also you can call Nightline or go and talk to them, they're at the end of Goodricke/Wentworth bridge. Also the welfare rep at YUSU might be a good person to speak to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea, I know where the surgery is. It's just an embarressing silly thing to ask about though, I feel. I might get in touch with nightline, they seem ok. Thankyou KHSS.
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