Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.

'The Weird Girl'

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm sure people think I'm a bit weird, I'm not like most 19yr olds, how do I fit in more? I am quite socially skilled when I feel like it but I have real trouble getting close to people so I have no proper friends. (Don't even get me started on boyfriends.. pah!)

My flatmates this year all get on really well (myself included) but they seem closer like friends should be, and I feel different.. weird.. unhuggable..

How do I get a feeling of self-worth? I'm moving out in a couple of weeks, I'm told I'll be missed but I really can't believe this. I'm boring, ugly, and recurringly miserable. How do I change? Or are some people just reserved and never happy by a flawed personality?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe you should have a read of this recent thread it may be helpful when it comes to low self esteem.

    http://vbulletin.thesite.org/showthread.php?t=108551&highlight=low+esteem
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My appearance self-esteem has actually been the best it's ever been recently. (Maybe I shouldn't have said ugly.. heh).

    It's okay, I don't seem to be very good at describing what my issue is. Thanks though.

    *I'm also thinking I should've put this in relationships.. hmm..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure you are loveable, it's just that you don't see it in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think i understand, i always feel left out in a group like im not interesting or fun to be around, lots of people want to be friends with me, i know that, but i just find myself hiding from people finding reasons not to go out cos i dont think people will like me when they get to know me, im not exactly shy or anything im good at making friends im just crap at keeping them!
  • +Kirsten++Kirsten+ Deactivated Posts: 49 Boards Initiate
    I've moved this into the Relationships forum - plenty of people here to give you support and advice. :)
    How do I get a feeling of self-worth? I'm moving out in a couple of weeks, I'm told I'll be missed but I really can't believe this. I'm boring, ugly, and recurringly miserable. How do I change? Or are some people just reserved and never happy by a flawed personality?

    Yes, I think the link to the thread on a similar topic might be very helpful. We've also got some information around self-esteem on TheSite.

    It sounds like you've had some good experiences with your flatmates - but that you're moving on, and want to figure out how to make better friends, or get closer to those you already know. It may seem that others have an easier time getting close to people - but making great friends is always a mix of luck, timing and effort.

    We're all very different - some of us outgoing and open, some of us more reserved; some seem happiest in a large group, others prefer to slowly get to know a new friend. But none of these differences mean we have a 'flawed personality'. As you mention you're moving out soon, you might use that opportunity to meet new people, and reconnect with old friends - and find people who value you for who you are.

    All the best to you both!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sopycookie wrote:
    i think i understand, i always feel left out in a group like im not interesting or fun to be around, lots of people want to be friends with me, i know that, but i just find myself hiding from people finding reasons not to go out cos i dont think people will like me when they get to know me, im not exactly shy or anything im good at making friends im just crap at keeping them!
    Some people say that I know "everyone" and that I have a good social life, but I still often feel like an oddball and as far as relationships are concerned, I can honestly say that I don't think I'm loveable in that way.

    But then I LOVE being a bit "different". When people tell me I'm "wierd" it amuses me in a way... Because "wierd" to a lot of people is somebody who's interests span beyong fucking, shoppng, drinking and Big Brother.

    I understand the whole people not liking you once they know you feeling... I used to push people away and I still often do. I goof around and act a little bit tough if I'm nervous for some reason. I don't wear my heart in my sleeve either.

    Before I wentto Nepal I don't think I'd have ever let people fully close to me, I don't think I'd ever be able to be affectionate or show myself for who I am. It was wonderful friends and how we helped each other that has brought the best out ofall of us. :)

    Sometimes you just have to let go... It's scary as hell. I still get scared sometimes, but then I'm sure everybody finds emotional intimacy frightening. The more people know you, the more they know what makes you tick. You just have to be careful though because there are some arsewipes out there...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You sound like a cool lady to me. I don't know what's up with your mate's gruff.

    I honestly feel sorry for people that can't seem to fit in very well. I like being around people that aren't part of the Stream because it's interesting to get their input on things I make and think about. It's also interesting to hear their thoughts on things. What they make, how they do it, what they think of the universe. All of that crazy, jumbled jargon that usually spawns from long nights of lager and nothing to do.
Sign In or Register to comment.