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I think someone who believes in god and jesus, but has premarital sex can call themselves a christian with no trouble. many people put different focus on different parts of the bible as they see fit. I think you'll find a lot of people who consider themselves christian to some degree have premarital sex, it's entirely up to them.
You answered your own question, Christianity tells you not to, so therefore, dont do what you know is wrong.
Its rediculous how people can have sex before marridge regularly and still say they are a Christian, its condradicting the bible, a sin is something God says is wrong, no excuses. Making a wrong mistake once is understandble, but seems as being a Christian is about repentance, and turning from ways you know are wrong in order to live a life pleasing to God, continuing or starting to do stuff a non-christian would do is obviously not showing any signs of repentance.
I think you have to be careful as far as foreplay is concerned, I wouldnt think that getting the body ready for sex, for you just not to have it, is wise. If the temptation is there alredy, its just going to make it even stronger. Its not really going to act as a good enough substitute and you're just going to want more than the foreplay can give. I think instead of thinking how far you can go til marridge, think about how "pure" you can stay til marridge.
You said you don't want to jepodise your relationship with your gf or God, so don't, your gf should understand that, and you just need to think which is more important to you. To call yourself a Christian, you need to put your whole heart into it or not at all, theres no middle ground, you can't be a 'Half Christian' and think "ooh, i'll follow this rule, but not those ones"
Ah, someone agrees, I'm with you entirely.
There is a difference between a) having pre-marital sex 'accidentally' (for want of a better word) when you don't intend to, but get drawn into it, and b) flat out asserting that pre-marital sex is perfectly alright in any case.
The latter is a clear derogation from core christian beliefs. That isn't my opinion, that is a hard fact in black and white.
I also agree particularly with your last comment - the most important relationship a christian has is meant to be the one they have with God, so if this comes down to a choice between God and a girl............ you know the rest, I guess.
If you want to be a part of the christian church, but decide to pick and choose the rules and only follow the ones which arent too difficult, then what on earth is the point?
Theres nothing forcing you to stay Christian. You can believe in God and have a relationship with God, without it having anything to do with the Christian bible, but if you say youre an actual christian, but want some get out clause when it comes to the sex before marriage bit, then thats a tad hypocritical.
May I respectfully suggest, in which case, that you take a closer look at the book you purport to believe in as a christian. 'Commitment' in and of itself is not enough, even if you've been with someone for 30 years.
As I say, it isn't my opinion that you are out of line with what you claim to believe - it is fact.
I ask this question absolutely genuinely and would be interested in your response: If you love God and call yourself a christian, how can you justify being so openly and proudly dismissive of one of 'God's' most fundamental ideas? I can only see this as 'pick your own' religion. And religion doesn't work like that! If you claim to be a christian you accept God's rules, ideas etc implicitly.
And someone else mentioned that it is personal choice whether or not you belong to a religion. Of course it is, but that's irrelevant here - the guy says he is a christian, so he has made that choice.
Furthermore, where do you draw the line? If it's ok to say 'I'm a christian but I'm fine with sex before marriage', is it also fine to say 'I'm a christian, I'm fine with sex before marriage AND I don't believe in forgiveness', or to say 'I'm a christian, but I'm fine with sex before marriage, I don't believe in loving my enemies, and I don't think I should forgive people for doing bad things to me' etc etc? How many principles are you allowed to openly disagree with or offend before you cease to be 'christian'?! I'm most interested!
shhh, we dont want this moved to p&d now really do we
*puts spoon away*
To the OP, when I was younger I used to have the same worry. But now that I've matured and, equally important, my relationship with God has matured - I came to realise that you have to take in what helps you strengthen and enrich your life and relationship with God, and leave aside that which doesn't. That means that at some points in your life sex may indeed be jeopardising your own spiritual growth (and hence jeopardising your relationship with God) and sometimes it may even help make it grow. I don't think there is an absolute one-size-fits-all answer. Whichever is the case depends solely on your personal circumstances, and this is something you will have to discern personally.
As a fellow Christian though, what I can most whole-heartedly advise is that no matter what people say (including my above statement because that is my own personal way of seeing things), never betray your own conscience - that's the most important thing.
Good luck to you.
1)Vicky, marriage is a human-made thing, but so is contraception. Fair enough to think one makes more sense than the other, but don't say that since something is human-made it should be considered unimportant (note: I'm not saying that this is what you were saying).
2)As far as I'm aware of, the definition of a Christian is that you believe in Christ and his sacrifice.
3)I'll agree that it's completely ridiculous for anyone to do a lot of sexual activities except normal sex because of being a Christian. It's not about what exactly you do, it's about the frame of mind. Either you believe that pre-marital sex is a no-no, or you don't.
That's the kind of thing I was thinking, I take it all you Christians have given all your worldly goods to the poor then?
That is a very very good answer, and it even gets a reasonable thumbs up from the Catholic Chaplain at Uni.
Christianity is not about using the Bible as a rule book, it's about believing that Jesus Christ is the son of God and came to save the world from sin.
You will know what is right for you. Pray for yourself and you'll come to an answer for you.
No, cos it doesnt say in the bible that you should... that would be quite unrealistic wouldn't it, God wants his people to be prosperous, not poor and without, even Jesus didnt give everything he owned to the poor...
What a lot of people seem to think is that its ok for "Christians" to have sex before marriage... so, would you say its ok for Christians to commit adultary? murder?... don't tell me thats not the same, cos even though there is of course the moral difference, it says in the bible that those things are wrong, as plain as it says sex before marriage is moraly wrong for a Christian.
I have friends who get drunk regularly, do stuff with the opposite sex that they shouldnt do, swear, but they still call themselves Christians?... What actually makes someone like that a Christian anyway, cos someone just going to church and praying every night is NOT a Christian!
As a matter of interest, seeing as you know what a Christian is NOT, what in your opinion IS a Christian?
1) How on earth can it be suggested that views on sex - sex being created by God as the supreme expression of relational love - are not of absolutely huge significance?
2) How can not betraying your own conscience be the most important thing?! Christians are meant to live by the Bible, not by their subjective conscience!
I find that staggering. The Bible lays down how christians should live; you're not meant to make your own rules up, nor pick and choose (nor make spurious arguments to excuse yourself from the bits you don't like)! I'm absolutely amazed at the arguments some folks are finding to justify derogating from the sole source of their purported faith.
Since when has subjective human conscience been a primary source of Christianity?! There is one book, and one book only.
Not offending your conscience is more important than not offending the Bible?! I sincerely hope no chaplain would testify to that!! If you regard your own rules/ideologies are more important than the Bible i.e. God's ideologies how can you possibly, in any rational sense, purport to be a christian?
I didn't know one of the ten commandments said "Thou shalt not have pre-marital sex". /sarcasm
So whether you have sex or not, you're still a Christian.
And, as has been said, the Bible was not written as a text against sex.
Just do it.
White wedding