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Them telling them hey love you

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Your partner that is.

If you've been with someone for only a short time, maybe a month, and they say "I love you" - what do you do? Say it back? Leg it? Change the subject?

Personally if someone said that to me in a month of being with them I think I'd want to leg it from them. Although I've been told worse.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jesus no.

    Maybe 6months + yeah..

    But not after a month. I have layers, I'm like Shrek. I'm an onion, man. You gonna get to my eye stinging core then decide whether you still wanna bum me. You'll cry but I'm the best onion you'll ever meet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this happened to me after about 6 weeks. he knew before he said it though that i didn't feel the same. and he said that hes just the type of person that fell in love quickly. i said i was the opposite but was getting strong feelings for him and i think that sufficed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my boyfriend told me he loved me quite early. I didnt say it back because it took a bit longer for me to feel it too. If i wasnt really keen on him, then maybe it would have scared me off, but I was already pretty smitten so it wasnt a huge issue, although I was definitely aware of how quick it happened and there were a few moments of unease at first.

    Someones gotta be the one to say it first though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my boyfriend told me he loved me quite early. I didnt say it back because it took a bit longer for me to feel it too. If i wasnt really keen on him, then maybe it would have scared me off, but I was already pretty smitten so it wasnt a huge issue, although I was definitely aware of how quick it happened and there were a few moments of unease at first.

    Someones gotta be the one to say it first though.

    Yep, at least you were honest even if it is not that easy sometimes to not hear it back... But it's best to be honest and say it only if you feel it...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Like i just said on the other thread

    After two dates, and this guy is saying "I love you", I really don't know what to say to him, I can't say I love you back, because I don't, I've stopped seeing him, probably because of this. I think it's not something you should rush into saying, I don't feel like it's an honest thing to say, and not much thought has gone in to it, Sure you can feel as If you are falling in love with someone, I think it's a selfish thing to say before you really know for sure.

    So, I think a couple of months, depending on how much time you spend with eachother, would be ok.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if i didn't feel the same i think i'd be like 'oh dear quick run away!' but in someways flattered. it depends on their personality too. if they were clingy and needy with it i couldn't be bothered with it.

    i can't see myself falling in love that quickly either so i'd find it a bit odd.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends on how things are going. I've been with someone a month and my feelings are pretty strong for him right now but I wouldn't come out and say I love you. Not after a month. I dont think there is a particular time limit but the two date thing? That's a bit freaky.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    It depends on how things are going. I've been with someone a month and my feelings are pretty strong for him right now but I wouldn't come out and say I love you. Not after a month. I dont think there is a particular time limit but the two date thing? That's a bit freaky.


    I thought so too! :nervous:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Makoto wrote:
    Although I've been told worse.

    :chin:

    I would [and have] undoubtedly shit a brick if anyone I'd been seeing for a month or thereabouts said "I love you". I wouldn't necessarily leg it from the relationship but it would probably unsettle me, regardless of how I was feeling about them at the time. That is just too much, too soon for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "I know" :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi wrote:
    :chin:

    I would [and have] undoubtedly shit a brick if anyone I'd been seeing for a month or thereabouts said "I love you". I wouldn't necessarily leg it from the relationship but it would probably unsettle me, regardless of how I was feeling about them at the time. That is just too much, too soon for me.


    She told me that she wants my children and she wants to move in with me. In fact I think she wanted us to run away together.

    This was in about 6-8 weeks os seeing each other. Anything we had started to die there and then.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My 2 long term relatioships we both said it pretty quick. I find if I don't fall for someone pretty soonish then I never will. I've had 5 and 6 month rels before where I knew I'd never love them but enjoyed their company. If somoene said they loved me and I knew I couldn't love them back, we'd have to part. If I thought I was on my way then I'd be honest, like SCC.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Makoto wrote:
    She told me that she wants my children and she wants to move in with me. In fact I think she wanted us to run away together.

    This was in about 6-8 weeks os seeing each other. Anything we had started to die there and then.
    :nervous: How old is she?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do remember after 2 weeks, this guy I was seeing got the DJ to shout he loved me. Alll my friends thought it was so sweet, I nearly threw up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    VinylVicky wrote:
    I do remember after 2 weeks, this guy I was seeing got the DJ to shout he loved me. Alll my friends thought it was so sweet, I nearly threw up.
    Awwwwwww. :blush:

    I hope you dumped him straight after though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Awwwwwww. :blush:

    I hope you dumped him straight after though.
    It wasn't very long after....Shame he was mega fit but he was quite odd.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    VinylVicky wrote:
    I find if I don't fall for someone pretty soonish then I never will.
    Same.

    Although I feel stupid saying it before a certain time. Saying that, with the current boy-type, it was stupidly fast (as in about a month, maybe a bit longer), but because I was friends with him for months before we got together, and he's one of my best friends as it is, we already knew each other pretty well and I think that's why it was so fast.

    Or I'm just a bit weird ;o.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I refuse to say it until the 6 month (when I start to class it as a serious thing and maybe long term) mark. I have to be 100% sure I feel that way before I say such a thing.

    This is because I often get the feelings of lust and love mixed up. I think this is the case for alot of other people as well tbh. Sometimes when I go into a new relationship, I am overwhelmed with all these feelings and well, sometimes I think I feel something that actually isn't there.

    Also, I'm never one to say it first either. Not quite sure why. I suppose its because I'm worried about scaring them off.

    If someone tells me they love me, I usually say it back if I know for sure I feel the same way. However, if I don't know, I won't say it back.

    Its not something I just say. I have to mean it. I don't love one boy one week then another the next (because I know a few people at uni who have like been in love with a boy, been dumped and act all devastated and shit, then they are in another relationship within a few weeks and are in love again - this is why I think people get lust and love mixed up!). Love doesn't work like that for me (because usually if I love someone and we split up, it takes me agggggeeeessss to get over them, can't just move on easily and just fall for another guy). Its quite a big deal for me to say "I love you".

    Its a very scary feeling tbh, love. It scares me. If I'm love with someone, it means they can completely break my heart. It almost makes me scared to ever go into a relationship again. I think its going to take alot for me to say "I love you" again :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So many couples these days say that they love each other just for the hell of it, and it is so easy to think though. It is so easy to be so besotted with someone, sometimes when you hardly even know them that you think you love them...but it takes a little more than that to really love someone.
    I've thought I've loved ex girlfriends of mine that I haven't been with for very long at all because they're new and exciting and I can't stop thinking about them, but I realise now that I didn't. I have experienced love once though with my first serious girlfriend who I was with for 2 years, but even then it took me about 5 months to know.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my boyfriend told me pretty soon, but i was like SCC, i knew i was falling for him but yet i wasnt ready to say it. when he told me he loved me, i just simply said im sorry but i dont feel ready to say it back. he was fine, i was fine and i said it when i was ready.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I said it stupidly quickly in my last relationship, but I knew him for six months or so before hand so it wasn't that bad. He used to say it a lot more then I did though. I dont know about my next relationship, I dont think I'll be saying it particually quickly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes the first few weeks of a new relationship can be really mind blowing and it's really easy to confuse feelings of awe and excitement with love.

    If I'd been with somebody for about six weeks and she said it, then I'd probably just smile, go "awww", have a kiss and keep doing whatever we were doing. I can tell quite early on if I'm with somebody that I could potentially see myself loving, although it's good to keep that to myself till a few months in at least.

    I'm a bit of a dreamer and sometimes get carried away with the whole romance thing quite early on even though I'm never the one to use the L word first. Looking back, most of the time it's just been puppy love which is why I probably need somebody with their head screwed on, rather than somebody who's as away with the fairies as me :o
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :nervous: How old is she?

    She was 30 at the time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Makoto wrote:
    She was 30 at the time.
    :eek2: Jesus Christ on a bike.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Once upon a time there was a girl.

    She fancied me. She was nice, we flirted and stuff. Then I asked her out. We spent time together holding hands and kissing and such :) it was all nice.

    First time she came round my house... we went upstairs to have a cuddle and a kiss. (first time I touched a breast! woo :p) and then we were hugging and she said 'I love you'.

    I froze and didn't know what to say. We were walking back to college and it was silent, and I said I couldn't say it back without knowing for sure, but I liked her a lot. Anyway, I don't know whether it was because of this or because one of my best friends was seriously obsessed with her (you know how it is when you're young :p), but I ended up splitting up with her afterwards.

    You know the annoying thing in retrospect? I did really like her, and when I became single this year I was going to see if she wanted to go on a date but she's got a new boyfriend :(. Oh well, we all make mistakes and learn from them. But we'd only been going out a week before she told me!! I was her first kiss too :blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If i loved him back i would say it, however after a month that would be quite unlikely.

    If the situation did arise, i would just explain that right now i don't feel the same way but when i do i will tell them straight away.

    I would never say "I love you" without meaning it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :eek2: Jesus Christ on a bike.

    I have a knack for picking up these type of woman, I'd love a normal woman that doesn't have more issues than Beano.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Once upon a time there was a girl.

    She fancied me. She was nice, we flirted and stuff. Then I asked her out. We spent time together holding hands and kissing and such :) it was all nice.

    First time she came round my house... we went upstairs to have a cuddle and a kiss. (first time I touched a breast! woo :p) and then we were hugging and she said 'I love you'.
    What a beautiful story.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My boyfriend told me he loved me after a month even though we hadnt been together for very long we had become very close as we saw each other everyday. i didnt tell him i loved him straight away though as i didnt want it to seem like i was just sayin it because he did so i waited a bit until i said it but i do love him so much :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think people get too focussed about the 'i love you' thing. It kinda grates me when people complain about the word 'love' being thrown around because unless it is said directly to them. What effect does it have on them? The fact that the word love is bandied around should be celebrated because whatever someone's interpretation of the word love is. It's a good feeling and that person is obviously very happy.
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