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To be honest, as people have said already, it is hard to say no. I think that "if you loved someone it would never happen" is a very ignorant statement.
Ive been very deeply in love with one person for 3 years now, but that second where you know that other someone has the hots for you, wants you, will give it to you....theres something biological, instinctual, whatever that happens there that no amount of higher brain function logic or heart felt love can change.
So to summarise, cheating IS bad, but to say you dont feel that spark, that magnetism, that chemistry is just silly. The true test is how you deal with that moment, can you say no or not?
Then you can be all preachy about cheating on a loved one etc.
All that's in theory, of course, and in reality it's a different story. Everyone makes mistakes and all that crap, but I still stand by what I say. There is absolutely no excuse for cheating whatsoever. If you have no self-control then don't bother with a relationship.
In the kind of relationships you seem to be talking about I'd say cheating is wrong, but for more relaxed, less developed ones it could be another matter.
exactly! :thumb:
even when i've been drunk i've never been tempted to cheat. therefore i fail to see how it's an excuse.
But in those kinds of relationships then its not really cheating anyway, if both people are aware that you are seeing other people, unless I am missing the point.
Or does what they have not count as a relationship (or as far as this discussions concerned)?
I think cheating is totally wrong at any age.
What i was meaning is that...if it is a relationship where cheating is acceptable then it isnt even cheating because that implies that you are going behind someones back, if it accepted how can it be cheating? (you arent deceiving anyone or cheating them in any way)
i`ve been in some states but i have NEVER cheated on my fella
Just realized I sound incredibly preachy. Sorry
I do understand why people would cheat, especially when they're young and the relationship isn't developed. But that doesn't mean that its right or acceptable.
If you haven't reached the stage of a relationship where monogamy is on the cards then fair enough, I don't think its cheating if you sleep with two first-dates in a week, but if you start going out with one of them then it is cheating.
I don't think having it "offered on a plate" is any excuse- what is this other person giving what your current partner can't?
In the past I have slept with some girls I didn't fancy in the slightest whilst pissed or pilled up, girls I didn't want to sleep with whilst sober.
Of course drinking is not an excuse though, if you make stupid descions when your pissed, you shouldn't get so pissed.
I've been cheated on and while it was fucking horrible at the time, it's probably made me a bit less quick to jump into things now.
To be absolutely honest, I could maybe begin to excuse a girl snogging somebody else behind my back when she was drunk in a club or whatever. If she's honest and really obviously regrets it then it's not the end of the world. But if there's one thing that really hurts is when a girl dumps you without having cheated, said there's nobody else and she just wants to be single - then next minute she's with somebody else.
It's the lies that's worse than the actual act itself IMO.
While kissing someone else is still cheating, having sex with someone else is, at least in my opinion, much worse. I could forgive a boyfriend for drunkenly kissing someone else, but if it went further than that then I think it would probably pull the curtain on the relationship, no matter how much he was sorry.
Actually it's common sense.
Alcohol allows people to do stupid things they wouldn't usually do, and that doesn't only go for cheating either - for instance, if you don't want to fall over and smash your face in, don't drink so much.
It's a fair analogy so you should consider it.
If you're prone to doing something stupid when pissed (as some people are), don't get so pissed. It aint rocket science is it? What other answer is there?
But we're not talking about making a twat of yourself when drunk, we're talking about cheating when drunk. And when the problem is cheating when drunk, the answer shouldn't be "don't get so drunk." It's the cheating that's the problem, and if you're prone to doing it when drunk or not you shouldn't bother with a relationship.
No. if you don't cheat when your sober yet cheating when drunk becomes a possibility, the answer is there in black and white.