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Need some help from the guys

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Guys what do you do if you find out the woman/girl you like has been fucked by someone you know and like, and you haven't had sex with them yet. But now the news that someone else has been there is starting to fuck you up little!! :banghead:

How do I stop thinking about them?!?

My problem is I'm seeing this woman i work with tomorrow - we should be having sex if it all goes to plan (she wants it to happen!). I knew she had 'something' with my boss. I kinda ignored it you could say. We were talking about our pasts and I told her mine, she was OK with it, then i asked about hers.... BIG MISTAKE. She only slept with 3 men...I'm gonna be 4th....the 3rd being my boss.

Now I got all these shitty little thoughts and images going through my head of them two at it! My fear is its gonna stop me getting a hardon tomorrow!!

What do I do?!:confused:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nothing. when you're having sex with her surely you'll just be thinking of having sex with her. also you did ask her. :\

    and why is this thread restricted to lads?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You shouldn't ever ask a question that you don't want to know the answer to.

    You'll be fine when it comes down to it. I can understand why it freaks you out a bit, but it doesn't really matter if it was your boss' cock or someone else's, its yours she wants now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    You shouldn't ever ask a question that you don't want to know the answer to.

    You'll be fine when it comes down to it. I can understand why it freaks you out a bit, but it doesn't really matter if it was your boss' cock or someone else's, its yours she wants now.

    I know I'm a dickhead I regret asking but I couldn't stop myself at the time. I didn't ask details as that would totally fuck me up! I know it was just the once so I'm assuming it wasn't what she thought it be like, and things ended after wards. (He was her rebound guy!) - The only worry I have with that is, what if I'm not good enough! So now I've open a whole can of worms when I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut!:crazyeyes

    Fuck it I might come clean to her tomorrow before we start drinking and explain that I'm having issue with her & my boss. She can't change what's happened but if I tell her where I'm coming from and stuff she might understand.

    lucifer devil - I like this woman a lot, if it was some other girl and i found out my mate/boss been there then yes, I doubt it would be a problem.

    Its not solely restricted to just lads - any feedback is welcome.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what if you're not good enough?

    what does that have to do with her sleeping with her boss? even if she hadn't slept with him, she's still slept with other people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Harmless wrote:
    Fuck it I might come clean to her tomorrow before we start drinking and explain that I'm having issue with her & my boss.

    :no:

    You're gonna have to try and chill out about this. If you're going on a date type thing then you're only gonna fuck things up if all you can think about is her and your boss shagging.

    If anything I'd be more worried about what my boss made of it all but then again I suppose it depends on your boss.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But you knew beforehand she'd got it on with your boss? Don't understand why it's an issue now?! :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    :no:

    You're gonna have to try and chill out about this. If you're going on a date type thing then you're only gonna fuck things up if all you can think about is her and your boss shagging.

    If anything I'd be more worried about what my boss made of it all but then again I suppose it depends on your boss.

    I know I need to chill I'm slowly coming to my sense. I can't talk to my boss about it as he doesn't know about me and her, likewise I didn't know about him and her, I only found out through drunken gossip.
    LacyMay wrote:
    But you knew beforehand she'd got it on with your boss? Don't understand why it's an issue now?!

    Well it only came to my attention week or so ago and that was from a co worker while we were drinking, as I said I kinda ignored it! Having her confirm it was the problem.

    lucifer devil Its my boss she slept with, I have to work, talk and joke with him all day long. I see this guy more then my mates! Knowing he's fucked a woman I like is a bit of a blow. The saving grace is that she over him and likes me, but that can't take away the thoughts and images from my mind. See where I'm coming from? - Yeah I know I wasn't going to be her 1st and I'm fine with that, its just feels strange.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Harmless wrote:
    Guys what do you do if you find out the woman/girl you like has been fucked by someone you know and like, and you haven't had sex with them yet. But now the news that someone else has been there is starting to fuck you up little!! :banghead:

    How do I stop thinking about them?!?

    My problem is I'm seeing this woman i work with tomorrow - we should be having sex if it all goes to plan (she wants it to happen!). I knew she had 'something' with my boss. I kinda ignored it you could say. We were talking about our pasts and I told her mine, she was OK with it, then i asked about hers.... BIG MISTAKE. She only slept with 3 men...I'm gonna be 4th....the 3rd being my boss.

    Now I got all these shitty little thoughts and images going through my head of them two at it! My fear is its gonna stop me getting a hardon tomorrow!!

    What do I do?!:confused:

    I found myself in a similar situation recently.

    There is nothing you can do about the past, it's the future that matters.
    I can understand how u feel, Only thing i can say, is accept it as part of her.

    I'd look at it in more of a... I've got her now, and you haven't way (coz u were shit in bed, even if that's not the case )

    If that makes sense at all!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no big deal. come to think of it, is she big? 3 men.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Harmless wrote:
    Well it only came to my attention week or so ago and that was from a co worker while we were drinking, as I said I kinda ignored it! Having her confirm it was the problem.

    It's no big deal. She fucked him, now shes fuckin you. Workin her way around the office until she finds someone she does like :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whats really gonna fuck you up is the thought 'was he better than me?'.
    Sorry :razz:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Harmless wrote:
    Fuck it I might come clean to her tomorrow before we start drinking and explain that I'm having issue with her & my boss. She can't change what's happened but if I tell her where I'm coming from and stuff she might understand.

    Oooh, I would be really angry if you did that and I was the woman in question! A guy who I'd just decided to go on a date with turns around and says he's not happy with who I've slept with before! What would talking to her about it do exactly? It's already happened. It's also your problem, not hers, so why try and make it hers by telling her how you feel?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kate1 wrote:
    Oooh, I would be really angry if you did that and I was the woman in question! A guy who I'd just decided to go on a date with turns around and says he's not happy with who I've slept with before! What would talking to her about it do exactly? It's already happened. It's also your problem, not hers, so why try and make it hers by telling her how you feel?

    Well Kate I can see your point but if something bothering me I'm gonna share it - only way it'll get fixed is by talking and making the other person understand where your coming from!

    I told her last night and she explained few things about it and it was cool. We even laughed and joked about it! So I'm glad I did it my way!
    icey wrote:
    Whats really gonna fuck you up is the thought 'was he better than me?'.
    Sorry

    Ha yeah it was but she told me she wouldn't ever have sex with him again :cool:

    Cheers for everyone's help/input/abuse ;) We had a great night out together and things went very well in other department! :naughty::D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Harmless wrote:
    Ha yeah it was but she told me she wouldn't ever have sex with him again :cool:

    No being funny but shes hardly gonna tell you she wants to have sex with him again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tweety wrote:
    No being funny but shes hardly gonna tell you she wants to have sex with him again.

    Very true. Got a lot to learn about women!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate the whole history thing, what matters is where you are both at now. I don't care who a new partner has been with in the past if I've decided that I fancy her then its because of her personality and the way she looks and I don't want to taint it by bringing up her past lovers. I've never even asked a girl who else she has been with or even how many, I would rather not know thats her business.

    I was with a girl a few years back, the first time we slept togeather just before the moment of passion she was asking me who else I have slept with, I dont know if she was judging if any of them were more or less attractive than her or sussing out my level of experience. She knew a few of the names and asked further questions, kinda killing the moment.

    Many of my friends have ended up with long term partner or even wife who other people in our group of friends have slept with in the past, they don't let that bother them and enjoy the person she is with you right now. Unless you get married as a kid everyone has a past sexual history with someone else, get over it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    You shouldn't ever ask a question that you don't want to know the answer to.

    You'll be fine when it comes down to it. I can understand why it freaks you out a bit, but it doesn't really matter if it was your boss' cock or someone else's, its yours she wants now.
    Defo. I never ask BFs if they've slept with someone I know, I just wouldn't want to know the answer.
    My ex asked me if I'd slept my a good male friend of mine, I had years ago and when I told him, boy I never lived it down.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd be messed up. Would be better off not knowing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've slept with several guys who are all mates, and I'll be darned if any of them are finding out about any of the others...

    Not sure if I'd go as far as lying if I was asked outright, but I'd rather they didn't know and I suspect they'd rather not know.
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