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Dont laugh but.......

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right this is gonna sound really stupid to a lot of people but I got this one little problem thats sprung into a major problem. I got contact lenses about a year ago, and i thought it would give me confidence to go out, meet girls etc. But I have this perception that it has made my nose look HUGE and thus really ugly. Plus the fact that most girls had me down as a geek when I had glasses, this hasnt changed. Although I am supposed to have a dry sense of humor, which a lot of girls supposedly like, I am really shy and find it hard to start conversations. I have tried internet relationships but they dont work.
Any help much appreciated

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wont laugh, I was in the same boat a few years ago. I was shy and found it difficult to find new friends. I'd never had a girlfriend because I was scared that they wouldn't like me and my "friends" would think she was too ugly or a bitch e.t.c. A conscequence of that was that my first gf wasn't until the end of year 11, which was terrible cos I had no idea of what to do! I wasn't unpopular but i wasn't popular either, I kept my head down and in a small circle of friends. But as soon as I left school I changed. I realised that I had a lot to offer possible friends and girlfriends, if they didnt like me, so what? Stuff them, find some new friends. And this has worked wonders. And all thanks to one thought I had just before leaving school, "What have I got to lose?"
    Whenever you doubt yourself or your abilities just think to yourself "what have i got to lose?". You'll realise that it cant be much and do it anyway. Thanks to my new attittude I started going up to random strangers at college and talking to them! And because they were new as well they were glad to have someone to talk to.
    Just remember, you have a lot to offer, if somebody, be it a girl or otherwise, just think "fuck em, I dont need em." and say it to them as well, let them know how much of a bitch/bastard you think they are, you'll feel secure in the knowledge that they feel shitty and you are on top of the world.
    I hope I've helped you, good luck.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    awww you shouldnt worry
    relationships arent the only thing in life
    beleive me they are over rated
    in this shit world, for every iota of happiness you get, you pay back 10 iotas of unhappiness later
    trust me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    P.S.
    DONT TRY INTERNET RELATIONSHIPS.
    With your new found confidence, why do yuo need them???

    REMEMBER
    "What have I got to lose???"

  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    firstly, i find some blokes with glasses sexy, more so than when they dont wear them, as a few examples in my school have shown! so girls arent all put off by glasses, it can be weird if you know someone wiothout glases to suddenly get th em, but not necessarily weird in a bad way. and you dont necessarily notice the glasses and think "ewww no, not glasses". so theyre not that noticable, or such a turn off as people imagine.

    right. secondly, online relationships. i think its a mistake to agree to go out with each other before meeting, you just cant do that. well, i know you CAN and people have fallen in love over the net. i met my boyf (ex!!!) on the net in a chat room, we talked for a while then met, simple as that. so if talking to people on the internet makes you feel more comfortable about meeting people, you should do it. even if you dont meet them, or dont have a relationship with them. i have some excellent friends ive met on the internet and never met in real life. it may just give you the confidence you need to meet people and talk to them in your everyday life if you are already accustomed to making new friends and talking over the net.

    whatever you feel about your appearance and insecurities about your nose, most other people arent goign to notice. i have a thing about having a fat stomach and flabby thighs... and i have various complexes about different parts of me at different times, most people think i am mad as im size 10 or 12 and they think im imagining it. it doesnt make it any less real for me, so i know where you're coming from.

    so you should just try and be yourself, dont pretend to be somethign you're not, thats infinitely more attractive than putting on an act, and girls can see through it, later if not sooner.

    anyway good luck mojo <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    p.s.
    whowhere, i didnt have a relationsip till the end of year 11 either, and ive only ever had the one, and got off with one other person before that. i was also perceived as a "square".. im losing that image now as im more outgoing and confidant, probably due to the relationship, amongst other things.

    but your attitude of "fuck em" is a good one to have, if people cant treat you with respect and if they dotn like you, well its their loss isnt it?

    It's better to regret things you've done than things you haven't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think you just need to chill about it honey. i know its slightly different but when i go for a night out thinking god i so have to pull tonight it usually doesn't happen coz i'm too worked up. when i go out thinking "ah fuck it i'm gonna have a good time" it works a treat and the guys can't get enough.
    i think its all about being cool and looking as if you don't give a damn either way, stop trying too hard!!!
    i had issues with wearing glasses myself and got contacts about 2 years ago but find that it doesn't really make that much difference. i suppose its a bit different for girls though.
    i hope this is a bit of help and you get what i mean. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    luv and peace m8 xxx

    i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i sometimes wear glasses and sometimes don't depending on how i feel, but i can tell you this, glasses don't = geek.
    I know a lot of girls who go crazy over glasses, but none who actually see them as a repellant, but basically, just do what makes you feel most comfortable <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    LIFE: Quite interesting in parts, but no substitute for the real thing
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to be really shy and I would never say boo to a goose. I had a hard time at school with bullying. Not as bad as most stories I've heard but bad enough for me. The bullies shattered my confidence. The bullies were not all lads either, some were girls. I think girls are worse for bullying than guys because I can't & wont hit them.

    Anyway, I had no respect for myself but when I left school I took up kickboxing. My confidence started to grow almost straight away. I started college and made lots of new friends. My confidence grew and I'm not as shy anymore. I'm still shy around new people but I am getting there!

    I know I'm not the ideal person to preach this as I find it difficult myself but don't worry about what other people think about you! if they don't like you then tough shit! Its there problem! Lot's of people will like you, unless your a complete arse whole which I'm sure your not!

    Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh and I find women with glasses very attractive! I think men don't look like geeks with glasses! I think they look intelligent and (nobody please take this the wrong way) handsome.

    Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so Broken if i whacked on a pair of specs...... j/k
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Daze:
    so Broken if i whacked on a pair of specs...... j/k

    I'd find you irresistable <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; J/K!!



    Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Broken Heart:
    I used to be really shy and I would never say boo to a goose.

    Nor would I...they bite! And so do swans! And sheep attack me in big groups and dogs generally don't like me!

    Oh yeah, and cat's usually take a swipe at me as well!

    I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Daze:
    so Broken if i whacked on a pair of specs...... j/k

    Typo there obvioulsy...you accidently put "j/k" Broken. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtle:
    Typo there obvioulsy...you accidently put "j/k" Broken. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;


    oh yeah! Thanks for pointing that out <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;



    Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtle:
    Nor would I...they bite! And so do swans! And sheep attack me in big groups and dogs generally don't like me!

    Oh yeah, and cat's usually take a swipe at me as well!


    hmmm... u into bestiality Turtle by n e chance???

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Daze:
    hmmm... u into bestiality Turtle by n e chance???


    he went in the animals 2 by 2
    hoorah hoorah

    ...or something like that anyway, i spose no one else knows the noah's ark song, cuh, u kids nowadays



    LIFE: Quite interesting in parts, but no substitute for the real thing
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Monkey_Boy:
    he went in the animals 2 by 2
    hoorah hoorah

    ...or something like that anyway, i spose no one else knows the noah's ark song, cuh, u kids nowadays



    I love that story!!!!! Didn't the ark hit an Ice Berg and they all died. But there was a romance between a sheep & goat.


    Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You poor thing! Listen, contact lenses don't make your nose look big, if anything they make your eyes look bigger, always a plus. From a girls point of view, I have to say that confidence is a real turn on. Don't be scared to ask out a girl you fancy - they can only say no right? Also, any one who judges someone on what they look like soley must be really shallow, thus not worth bothering with. Trust your heart to do what's best - NOT other people's reactions to you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Monkey_Boy:
    he went in the animals 2 by 2
    hoorah hoorah

    ...or something like that anyway, i spose no one else knows the noah's ark song, cuh, u kids nowadays


    Roflol MB. Funnily enough, I'm not into sexual relations. Unless of course you count my gf. Ooh, that one was below the belt, and completely not true. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;


    I've not lost my mind it's inserted elsewhere - hence the limp.
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