If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Lying in a relationship
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okey, this is fairly complicated from my point of view, but also imcredibly simple to deal with (or at least I thought it was).
How much lying does one tolerate in a relationship? Take this for example:
Me n my gf were checking her email when she SHOWED me a whole load of old emails from this guy called Andy. She said that she'd had a breif relationship with him, and I was naturalyl curious - not in anyway jealous, you understand, just curious. This guy was english and living in the UK, and I asked the question: how many times had she met up with him.
She answered me: 1. I (possibly stupidy) didn't ask any follow up question at that point, just cos she seemed reluctant to answer and I didn't want to spoil the evening.
Later, when we were talking, the conversation got round to this Andy guy agian. So I was like "What was he like?"
Answer: "I didn't know him too well, and I never met him...I lied before."
Now, to some people, that seems a fairly trivial point. And in the scheme of things, it is - i let it more or less slide, but still the words stuck in my mind "I lied before".
I hate lying. About ANYTHING!! If it's something small, I don't trust that person at all, simply because I know that it means they are capable of lying about big things as well - things that MATTER.
Which is why I'm a bit worried about what anna said - i mean, it was a small thing, but who knows - she could lie to me about something very, very big one day.
Should I let it slide, talk to her now, wait for another incident or what?
And how far do you think lying should go in a relationship?
I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.
How much lying does one tolerate in a relationship? Take this for example:
Me n my gf were checking her email when she SHOWED me a whole load of old emails from this guy called Andy. She said that she'd had a breif relationship with him, and I was naturalyl curious - not in anyway jealous, you understand, just curious. This guy was english and living in the UK, and I asked the question: how many times had she met up with him.
She answered me: 1. I (possibly stupidy) didn't ask any follow up question at that point, just cos she seemed reluctant to answer and I didn't want to spoil the evening.
Later, when we were talking, the conversation got round to this Andy guy agian. So I was like "What was he like?"
Answer: "I didn't know him too well, and I never met him...I lied before."
Now, to some people, that seems a fairly trivial point. And in the scheme of things, it is - i let it more or less slide, but still the words stuck in my mind "I lied before".
I hate lying. About ANYTHING!! If it's something small, I don't trust that person at all, simply because I know that it means they are capable of lying about big things as well - things that MATTER.
Which is why I'm a bit worried about what anna said - i mean, it was a small thing, but who knows - she could lie to me about something very, very big one day.
Should I let it slide, talk to her now, wait for another incident or what?
And how far do you think lying should go in a relationship?
I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.
0
Comments
Don't worry about it, if she was hnest enough to tell you the truth a few hours later then she must be of pretty good chracter.
As for the e-mails, like J9 said, letting you read her e-mail is a very good sign. My gf does the same, and I let her read mine and it shows that we can trust each other.
i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.
[This message has been edited by whizzygirl (edited 31-12-2000).]
am i the only one who thinks that lying about meeting some guy once is just the teensiest bit odd? i don't want to sew doubts in your mind but it seems like such a pointless lie that it appeared to me that the mis-truth you were talking about might actually be the 'i never met him' part.
am i alone here?
LIFE: Quite interesting in parts, but no substitute for the real thing
HOWever, since the topic seems to have moved on to this particular conversation...
Yes, the thought had crossed my mind, to be honest. I'm very insecure with most friends, and if someone admits they lied to me even once, then i get suspicious of a lot of what they say.
I don't think Anna would have lied to me about this - but then again, what do I know?
I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.
It's better to regret things you've done than things you haven't.
sorry gone into my own relationship probs now! just ignore the rambling..
It's better to regret things you've done than things you haven't.
His mum found out we were "friends" and chucked him out of the house for going back to a cheap slut
i told my mum we were friends and she wouldnt believe me told me to stop lying to her so i told her the truth and now i think she hates me cos i didnt take any advice off her and she is always sitting about mopping up my tears
LADIES IT AIN'T EASY BEING INDEPENDENT
I mean that hte post was not provoked by this particular conversation, but the conversation was relevant and i used it as an example!! how dare you accuse me of lying!!
I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.
*|* Chica *|*
Stay Calm <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/mad.gif">
I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.