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How to get sex life back?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Lately for the last 5 weeks or so, it's been a bit rocky with my boyfriend. We've been arguing alot and I've considered breaking up with him a few times. I've been really stressed with my final year at university and stuff and I guess I take it out on him because I feel like I'm wasting time with him when I could be studying, especially since he's not a student and doesn't really understand.

Anyway, recently our sex life has taken a realllly big knock. We used to have sex every time we saw eachother but now it's like I just can't be bothered, I don't really want him to touch me but I feel like I have to. I don't understand because I do want to be with him and I do fancy him but my sex drive seems to have disappeared. He's started to get pissed off about it but I have to do it to keep him happy.

I think it's partly down to stress, being unsure about the relationship, and I've also been a bit down lately because I've never orgasmed and feel like I'm just never going to! I guess I've given up, but that doesn't really explain the situation as I 've been perfectly happy with my sex life with him for the past year or so.

So I guess I'm asking how do you get your sex life back on track if you're in a rut? I don't know what to do :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it sounds like it is mainly down to stress but you may have just grown apart but you don't want to face that? maybe you need to be with someone who understands you more. You may need to take a break from sex and just have the hole kissing thing but not too physical so you can get back to being 'in lust' againe
    you could try taking a break because normally that works for me because i start missing people even if lately i havent been getting along that well with them but if you dont see them for a while you will want to see them so when you see them you'll be more happy
    also it sounds like you need a break from studying as, although its good its not good for your health if it drags you down and you become depressed
    you could try seeing a councillor about it, that may help
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have to make time for yourselves, and the sex will take care of itself.

    You can't expect to both be screaming down the house when you're knackered and stressed, it simply does not happen. If you take a time-out from it all and go away somewhere I would expect the sex will take off.

    Pack your sexiest knickers, your whip and your fluffy handcuffs and go and book a weekend in a hotel somewhere. Your libido should come straight back.

    I'd hardly say it was time to be calling in the marriage counsellors or scoffing the ADs. Now's as good a time as any to learn that a relationship needs work, and it isn't all plain sailing. If you learn to recognise the times when its hard, and learn how to work through it, you'll be fine.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your situation sounds scarily like my own was a few weeks back, everything sounds the same apart from the fact that my other half is also a student but on a very different type of course to myself. The feelings and tensions you talked about in your post are just like how I felt! The advice i'd give is what me and the boyf did, acknowledged our problems, talked about it and decided what we both wanted. Then started making more time for ourselves, going out on dates and trying to regain the spark we used to have. It seemed to work for us anyway. PM me if you wanna chat or anything x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    all relationships go through that at one time or another. :yes:
    and when you are stressed, your sex life will undoubtably suffer.
    as kermit said, you just need to make some time for yourselfs and the rest really will follow.
    and just because you've got a lot on and you don't feel up for it everytime you see you bf, doesn't mean that you need counselling :rolleyes: . ~ you really need to sort it out between yourselfs... spend a little quality time together, and your relationship should take care of itself. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im going through that right now myself... its something that happens on and off all the time in my experience.

    If the sex is really that important to you though maybe you should ask yourself if its really gonna work out long term if your finding it difficult now.. wait till you get married lol.
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