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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not posted in here in a while but hey. I've really fucked up tonight. Really really fucked up.

    Fucked up at the beginning of the week too.

    Thats twice this week when I've gone months without doing a thing. Its a bit of a mess tbh.

    Its just a bit shit when someone shows you for who you really are and points out your faults. I'm just a fuck up tbh. Just feel really really shit.

    Paranoia hitting in alot about what someone wanted to do/say to me. Just feel as though everyone hates me. I really do. Its my own fault thought isn't it? I push everyone away that I care about. I lose all of my friends because I'm a complete and utter loser.

    Its just really horrible when you hear about people hating you and other people on the brink of hating you.

    I've spent the whole night crying, not specifically about what was said to me but about everything, a number of things tbh. Uni is really taking its toll on me at the minute and well, yeah.

    I'm just full of regrets and shit at mo tbh. Feel really shit about how I behave sometimes and how I am a complete and utter waste of space.

    So many people wish they never met me/got to know me/knew me and it really gets to me.

    I just wanna curl up in a ball and make it all go away. Just everything right now. Just feel like hiding away from everyone. At least then I can't annoy anybody.

    Everyone would be better off without me, they really would.

    Just, yeah. Sigh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its just a bit shit when someone shows you for who you really are and points out your faults.

    No one's perfect. It's better to take these on board and try and improve.

    Not being bad here but is there something mentally wrong with you that you don't comprehend compliments. You've been told countless times here that people do care for you and you're not a waste of space yet you seem to come on regularly and say the opposite.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because I've been told people have been bitching about me.

    Many of which are on here that are supposed to be my friends.

    I've been told that someone hates me (well not in so much words but yeah, it was the same thing tbh) and someone has told me that they are on the brink of hating me because of who I am and my stupid fucking behaviour in the past.

    I've not been on here in months tbh. Past week or so though, I have just felt as though everyone hates me.

    I don't really blame them tbh. I'm a really shit person.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what have you done that's so terrible? if people are bitching about you then bollocks to them they're not worth your time or your tears.

    you say you 'feel' that everyone hates you - therefore they don't really you're just being paranoid.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I haven't really been a member of thesite.org for very long so I haven't got to know you Snow White Queen or anyone really that well but from first impressions and the time that I have been on here I haven't thought badly of anyone. Everyone on here seems to be a a fucking decent person, maybe some of you have problems but then so do I, everyone does. I have a dark past that I'm trying to move on from and if people can't forgive and move on then what does that make them? I don't wanna sound all pussy like but from the short time I've been on here, I've found somewhere that I can express my opinions and views, somewhere that I can share my pain and not be put down for it. Snow White Queen, from your posts that I've read you seem to be a really kind and friendly person, I've seen pictures of you in the pic thread and you're very attractive, don't put yourself down. If other people want to slate you for some stupid grudge then fuck them, they need to grow up and get a life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because I've been told people have been bitching about me.

    People always bitch behind your back, it's a standard part of life.
    Many of which are on here that are supposed to be my friends.

    Happened to me too, bit shitty but not the end of the world.
    I've been told that someone hates me (well not in so much words but yeah, it was the same thing tbh) and someone has told me that they are on the brink of hating me because of who I am and my stupid fucking behaviour in the past.

    So what, gonna let their cuntish attitude fuck you up? You're letting them win if you do.
    I'm a really shit person.

    Having a defeatist attitude will get you nowhere, say to yourself, I'm not a shitty person, trust me it feels a lot better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what have you done that's so terrible? if people are bitching about you then bollocks to them they're not worth your time or your tears.

    Its not so much something I've done but the way I behave sometimes and my inability to keep my thoughts to myself sometimes when theres the possibility that I may be annoying someone. Its only when its already been said and I've made the mistake of saying it that I realise how stupid I've been.

    I'm just a bit of a moron tbh. I just annoy the fuck out of people. I'm too honest for my own good.

    Yerascrote, I'm not so naive to think that people don't bitch behind my back but when I'm told its quite a few people, its a bit like, gawd. I've never ever been good with bitching tbh. I really don't know how to handle it. I hate people disliking me. This person wasn't being cuntish, she was just being honest as I asked her to be. Just feel a bit shit now I know truth thats all.

    Oh and thanks pill'ed for your comments.

    Just feel a bit shit. Just feel as though everyone is ganging up on me and I'm losing friends because I'm just stupid. I just feel as though people wish they never met me and they would prefer it if I just didn't exist.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you being honest shouldn't be a reason for people to be horrible to you - unless of course you say things you know will cause problems.

    i'm honest aswell, not exactly backwards in coming forwards but hey that's me.

    don't worry about some people off the internet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you being honest shouldn't be a reason for people to be horrible to you - unless of course you say things you know will cause problems..
    I was honest but I didn't really think about what I was saying. I was kinda forgetting that my words could annoy someone although saying that, I think part of me knew what I was doing which makes me hate who I am.

    Proper regretting it now though because now two friends of mine hate my guts.

    Its just a bit shit because these two falling out with me has made other people be funny with me too. Just feel as though everyone hates me.

    Just feel really shit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well maybe you need to really start thinking before you speak - sometimes it's best to keep quiet. also you need to stop being so paranoid and thinking that everyone hates you and is bitching about you - this kind of attitude isn't one of the attributes i'd want my friends to have.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't hate you :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well maybe you need to really start thinking before you speak - sometimes it's best to keep quiet. also you need to stop being so paranoid and thinking that everyone hates you and is bitching about you - this kind of attitude isn't one of the attributes i'd want my friends to have.
    My friends don't know I have this kind of attitude and tbh, for the past few months, I haven't but recent events have kinda made me go a few steps back.

    If I hadn't been told that I've been spoke about to numerous people then I wouldn't be so upset about it tbh. I can't help but wonder what people have said about me. Also makes me paranoid when people say to me "I stopped him doing what he wanted to do/say to you" without telling me what he wanted to do/say. Just sends allsorts through my head tbh.

    Just don't like the feeling of being hated tbh. I know its my own fault but like, I'm sorry and stuff and gah, I just think its a bit too late now to make amends.

    Just feel a bit shit about myself as a person tbh. Just hate myself a bit for being such a idiot.

    I just knew this was going to happen all along though whether I said something or not. I predicted it and hey presto, I was right.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well you obviously did what you thought was right when you told someone whatever it was you told them. if you regret it then apologise - but i think sometimes it's best to stick to your guns.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everyone makes mistakes, everyone says stuff that prehaps they shouldn't have or didn't mean, it's just part of human nature. Hell, if you can find someone who has never offended anyone or never blurted something out that really shouldn't have been blurted out then I'll award you a gold medal, and this person cos they must be some sort of supernatural being. It's never too late to make amends, espescially with real friends. You can't be ashamed of being yourself, even if sometimes there are times when you offend people or whatever than just apologise for it and try really hard to be more tactful or something in the future. If they can't accept that and like you for who you are then what kind of friends are they?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What I said was my personal opinion but it was unnecessary if you get what I mean. Its something I should have just kept to myself.

    I have apologised but I don't think they care tbh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure they do, they're probably just being stubborn.
    If you really feel that it was your bad and you shouldn't have said whatever you said and they're ignoring your apology then you have to try and show them you're sorry and that you're going to try and keep your opinions to yourself in the future. Write them a card or something saying how sorry you are, something to realy show them and then you're going to just have to try and prove you won't do it again.
    Other than that though, on the whole I think it's good when people are honest so keep that up maybe just keep somethings to yourself :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What I said was my personal opinion but it was unnecessary if you get what I mean. Its something I should have just kept to myself.

    I have apologised but I don't think they care tbh.


    well look at it as a mistake then and try and learn from it. it doesn't mean you're a terrible friend, you did what you thought was right.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just bleurgh.

    Hugs Stace.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have apologised but I don't think they care tbh.
    Just because people are too busy to acknowledge apologies doesn't mean they don't care.

    Check your email.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I truely hate being alive...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    I truely hate being alive...

    What's the alternative...death?

    Life is hard, not for most of us but for all of us. Think of the possibilities. Life is strange, it is weird but it is worth it in the long run. :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Feel like shit.

    Don't know why.

    Fuck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    Feel like shit.

    Don't know why.

    Fuck.
    We all feel shit without a reason sometimes, its normal.

    I should know.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's shit how long this thread is.

    Seriously. :|
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    Feel like shit.

    Don't know why.

    Fuck.
    Seconded. I'm sat at the kitchen table ignoring my huge pile of textbooks in floods of tears. Maybe I need to go to bed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote:
    Seconded. I'm sat at the kitchen table ignoring my huge pile of textbooks in floods of tears. Maybe I need to go to bed.
    :( hope you're ok honey *hugs*

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry to hear that guys. ive not been feeling great lately but hope your all OK.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^_^ wrote:
    It's shit how long this thread is.

    Seriously. :|
    yes. and?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    yes. and?

    That was an opinion. It did not require an answer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^_^ wrote:
    That was an opinion. It did not require an answer.

    How was it an opinion? It's long because lots of people use it, people benefit from the advice and experiences of others, and from the support we give each other. Yeah it's sorta sad that so many people are suffering, but there are pages and pages of advice, support - RELEVANT posts that benefit people.

    Yours didn't - so don't bother.
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