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Are you open minded? If so I need you!!!!! If not ,I still need your views . CHEERS!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
How are youse doing. I am in desperate need for some opinions and some advice even though I don't particularly need it now. But anyway;

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and a half. We are soon going to college and we are going to the same one which is nice. But today we thought about when college is over and if we were still together.

You see he is in a very good band and has been devoted to it for nearly 5 years so he cant exactly leave it can he?I want to get away from Manchester.

Do you reckon I should sacrifice it and stay in Manchester for us?I wouldn't make him choose between me and the band(or should I?)

Should I amke him choose whether to follow me or not rather than me making the decision which will decide our future.
I know there is a possibility that we might not even be together then but I hope we will and the future looks good.

But another thing is though, I want to be a surgeon and I would like to leave the UK to work. I have to be awkward I know. But I will work that out nearer the time.

Opinions and advice much appreciated. Thank you very much.
I really need different perspectives.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whooa!! You can cross that bridge when you come to it <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt; I know I spent ages worrying about what would happen this summer when my boyf went away to africa for the whole time, and with an old involvement - when he went to university. They are both history now!

    I don't think you should have to compromise at such a young age. The chances are [sorry you'll hate me for being such a pessimist!] that you will grow apart eventually, if not at college then once you get to university. Staying in manchester would be like the ultimate sacrifice and what would you do if you broke up soon after? You could regret that for the rest of your life!

    When the time comes, i expect you will know what the right thing to do is.Even if you don't want to do that you'll know that it is what you should do.

    Anyywho.. Love freya xx


    Have you ever confused a dream with life?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think if u leave ur manchester, ur being selfish. being attatched to a good band can mean a lot.

    if i was in his situation, i'd choose the band over u. cos if ur making him choose like that, ur not worth being with.

    stay in manchester. if the band is a as good as u say it is, u'll soon be travelling everywhere. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    if not, then the band will dissolve and shit.

    but like freya said, cross that bridge when u come to it.

    Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.

    [This message has been edited by Turtle (edited 29-05-2001).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly, amking him choose me over the band is the last I would want him to do. It will be major loss if he left.All I was saying there was that I cant help but feel rejscted(I think thats the word)

    I have thought about if I do split with him if I had decided to stay in Manchester then I will regret it. I kinda will but I think it will be worth it.

    Anyway thanks to you both for helping.It was great.

    MORE APPRECIATED BTW.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not sure that there is an issue here at all. You should live the moment and not worry too much about things that may never happen.

    As the others have said meet this problem if it arrives, you will find that events overtake any plans you make now anyway.



    The triumphs of today will echo for eternity
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be totally honest.....i'd ignore the whole idea until you come to it!! in your college years so much goes on i wouldn't worry your innocent little mind. (very patronising :rolleyes <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its one of those that you cant win, but like it is has been said, enjoy the moment and worry nearer the time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well CHEEKy i think you should just wait until a bit nearer the time when you're nearly finsihed your college course cos like you said you don't know if you'll be together by then, or his band might be history by then and so that varies it.

    If you're b/f understands your ambitions and really loves you then he'll be a bit more understanding might make sacrifices for you, because why should you make sacrifices for him?

    Equal Opportunities innit??

    But, like i say, best to think about these things nearer the time, although you can certainly talk about it just now with him, or plan things. Whether circumstances change between now, and when your college course finishes is an entire different matter .. just take each day as it comes darlin <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    I'll run off and sit in me corner just now <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Bored? Then why not visit www.alza.co.uk :+)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey CHEEK-y

    imho -- at your young age, you both need to live a little, that's not to say that you guys can't be together while you guys are finding ur way in the world, but it's obvious you both want something out of life and you need to chase ur dreams.

    and you know what? if you guys were meant to be, then you'll make it through his touring and he'll make it through ur med school. so promise to love and miss each other and go chase ur dreams. and if you're meant to be, u guys will come back to each other. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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