If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Ex-GF Problems
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So I met this guy online (we'll call him Joe) about three months ago. His ex-gf is an obsessive psychopath. She has a bf who lives in Australia but still thinks she has the right to know my friends every move. She practically rules anything he does, anyone he sees.
So Joe and I decide we really want to meet each other, he lives 2hrs away from me. We had to wait until his ex-gf went to Aus to visit her bf for a week before he could come up and see me without having to explain to her where he was going.
A week after we met I went down to see him and we went to a gig together. Before the gig we went to his ex's work so she could meet me. Of course I could tell she didn't like me hanging out with Joe. Even though she's not with him, she doesn't want me to have him either. Joe and I both really like each other and would like to be together, but she's standing in our way.
After she met me and he told her that I was staying at his place she got it into her head that we were going to sleep together so she went off her nut at Joe for sleeping with me - even got her mum involved. Joe and I didn't even sleep together - he was in a totally different room!!!
In the end it took her about 3 days to believe him and now whenever he mentions me or talks about the gig we went to she goes off her nut at him.
I could understand her if she was single and wanted to get back with Joe - but she has a bf.
I know she won't talk to me and I don't want to make things worse between Joe and her but how can I make her see sense that Joe's his own person and he can make his own decisions on who he can be friends with.
I can't even leave him a comment on his myspace page without her going off her nut at him. He's deleted all my comments on his photos as well
Argh I dunno - I guess I just needed to rant. She just does my head in so much.
So Joe and I decide we really want to meet each other, he lives 2hrs away from me. We had to wait until his ex-gf went to Aus to visit her bf for a week before he could come up and see me without having to explain to her where he was going.
A week after we met I went down to see him and we went to a gig together. Before the gig we went to his ex's work so she could meet me. Of course I could tell she didn't like me hanging out with Joe. Even though she's not with him, she doesn't want me to have him either. Joe and I both really like each other and would like to be together, but she's standing in our way.
After she met me and he told her that I was staying at his place she got it into her head that we were going to sleep together so she went off her nut at Joe for sleeping with me - even got her mum involved. Joe and I didn't even sleep together - he was in a totally different room!!!
In the end it took her about 3 days to believe him and now whenever he mentions me or talks about the gig we went to she goes off her nut at him.
I could understand her if she was single and wanted to get back with Joe - but she has a bf.
I know she won't talk to me and I don't want to make things worse between Joe and her but how can I make her see sense that Joe's his own person and he can make his own decisions on who he can be friends with.
I can't even leave him a comment on his myspace page without her going off her nut at him. He's deleted all my comments on his photos as well
Argh I dunno - I guess I just needed to rant. She just does my head in so much.
0
Comments
Erm, yeah, to say the least. I think he needs to tell her to mind her own fucking business tbh, and if he won't I'd be off like a shot.
He wants to get out and he wants to start living his life again but doesn't think he's strong enough. I know he is and he can do it.
she only goes nuts because HE allows it
why would he want to introduce u to her?! THAT sounds nuts to me
my guess is she enjoys still holdingonto him like this, he still loves her so any attention is good from her. If she stopped tomorrow he'd probably go crawling back.
Back off big time for your own sake.
Cos she wasn't happy that we were going to the gig together, so he thought by introducing me to her it would put her mind at rest. But that backfired and now I seem like a threat to her.
The thing I don't understand is that she has a bf, so why does she need to hold on to Joe too?
I don't want to back off cos Joe and I are great friends and we will always be friends. That's all we want at the moment and if it grows into more then that's cool too.
I'm actually going flatting with him either this year or early next year. Of course the ex-gf doesn't know about that yet though.
He doesn't tell her all the details cos he doesn't want to cause a fuss and for her to get all angry at him. Like the fact that we spent about 40mins in each others arms at the gig - she'd go mental if she knew.
He's saying one thing and doing another.
Godd luck.
ALARM BELLS
He doesn't soudn like he wants to get rid, more like he still loves her and is trying to get to her as a way of keeping her around.
Like I said, he's saying one thing and doing another.
It doesn't looklike you will see sense either babe.
I think he tells her everything cos they're still really good friends.
I know if he could get back with her he probably would - but then she'll go back to her bf again, like she done before.
Even though we're only mates she still wants to know everything that happens with us. I don't think I should give up a good friendship because she has a jealousy problem. I'm not asking him to give her up, so why should he give me up.
she has a new bf, he wanted to show he can still pull girls....
Why make her jealous if he knows she'll just get mad at him though?
her going mad makes him feel like she still wants him
cummon, open your eyes!
surely he knew that her seeing him with u would make her jealous? i`m sure he`s not that thick.......
Babe do you really want all this hassle or would you like to make a new male firend with no attachments, exes and love for others - somethat that could love you and not use you as a pawn?
We have a great time when she's not around bugging him.
Then she'll use her guilt trip voice and he'll get sucked in again
she doesnt need to see sense - Joe does! hes letting her control him because he wants the attention. he may even be using you to get that attention from her.
i know why you're so angry with her because in your eyes she is the problem. but in fact joe's feelings for her are the problem. and until he moves on from her she will keep ruling his life.
Yeah you're right. I'm just hoping that by him go flatting and time away from her will help him get over her.
So just cos he loves another woman you're saying we can't still be friends?