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Nightmare office xmas parties

KimonoKimono Moderating marePosts: 201 Settling in
I'm looking for some examples of terrifying tales of office xmas parties for an article I'm writing.

E.g. vomiting on your boss, fighting with the DJ, dancing to Wham with your trousers down/skirt tucked into knickers...

If you've got any to tell, please do let me know! Cheers :D

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I snogged a girl I hate - god knows why, it makes me sick to think of it
  • KimonoKimono Moderating mare Posts: 201 Settling in
    crikey, why did you hate her? did your colleagues see?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kimono wrote:
    crikey, why did you hate her? did your colleagues see?
    lol cos she was the biggest back stabbing, lying crazy bitch I've ever know - but otehr days she'd be sound as - she had problems. Everyone saw. Thank god it's 4 years ago and I don't work there now.
  • KimonoKimono Moderating mare Posts: 201 Settling in
    that'll teach you for getting into the festive spirit ;)
  • JsTJsT TheSite Graduate Posts: 18,265 Incredible Poster
    At every single Xmas party at work the fire alarm goes off and the fire brigade come out. This is guaranteed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My manager having to take me home in a taxi, and carry me to the door :blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Getting off with some girl off my department, and coming in the next day still half cut with my neck absolutely covered in lovebites and getting in shit off management for it.

    Or the year before when I was absolutely shitfaced and people managing to convince me for weeks after that I'd got off with the 60 something old hag of a canteen lady because I couldn't be sure that I hadn't :no: :no: :no:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Then there's always the violent fights, vomiting behind sofas, waking up naked next to the very gay former employer, vomiting so much you block up an entire apartment blocks plumbing.

    Or how about smashing photocopiers with your arse, nearly falling off the roof, the inevitable fire engines called to put off the raging fire in the bins, trying to start fights with Australian rugby players after dowing snakebite and black...

    Ah the list is endless, though they don't all apply to me.
  • KimonoKimono Moderating mare Posts: 201 Settling in
    There's also thieving hot dogs from an abandoned food cart.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i tend not to go to mine!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kissing my boss, kissing several male members of staff, declaring my undting love for someone *cringe* ignoring my exboss when evey ones knows we where sort-of going out. Drinking so much absinthe, I dont remember the rest of the night might be the best story from me but, alas that wasent at a Xmas work do'.

    We have to go to London for some bizzare reason this year, I dont want to clubbing though, I hate clubs. I was bad enough at the London show launch thingy this year, I had three bloody panic attacks in the loo.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    god I snogged my boss years ago...i did top him when he tried to put his hands down my pants on the dance floor......i got sacked a few weeks later!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jim V wrote:
    Ah the list is endless, though they don't all apply to me.

    lol mm hmm!
    worst I'VE ever done was pull a colleauge and have him film it...bastard...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At my last job our "official" christmas party was when the chief exec came down - for some reason this never happened before christmas but always seemed to be in january and we would always go to the same restaurant for lunch (there were only 4 of us plus him) and none of us would drink and we would all go back to the office afterwards and work.

    Normally this would be combined with an extra long meeting in the morning to discuss important things with him.

    Not that it was particually a nightmare but more that it was just not very exciting and felt more like work than a party.

    I've never worked anywhere where which has had the kind of office parties you see on TV where everyone gets drunk etc - except for one year when i left early and everyone else went out and got very drunk and i missed it all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've posted this on here before but hey...

    Six years ago I worked at Sainsbury's as a "Fresh Foods Stock Replenisher" (i.e. a shelf staker). At our work Christmas party I got very very drunk and decided that my weird and ugly work colleague Paul looked more attractive than I'd ever realised and that it would be a great idea to express my feelings towards him in the form of a blow job in the ladies loo. Now that would be a pretty bad in itself but I then went on to get off with another guy from the Meat and Fish counter in full view of everyone on the dance floor. I hadn't spat or swallowed from the toilet incident with Paul either, I'd just been holding onto it in my mouth, not realising that I would soon be with the other guy.

    It was only the next day at school that my friend said as a joke that I'd pulled ugly Paul and I thought he'd blabbed so was annoyed at him so she realised that her "made up" gossip was true. Ashley (from Meat and Fish) never told anyone what had happened (the shame of something) but it came out a few months later.

    It was really bad as everyone at work knew about the toilet insident, even the managers. A week later there was another work party and I pulled another colleage (Ben from chek-outs). A couple of weeks later I left my career at Sainsbury's.

    Hope that helps with your article :)
  • KimonoKimono Moderating mare Posts: 201 Settling in
    LOL

    Am ill at home right now but laughing my head off - so am risking developing RSI by typing this on my PSP so i can say thanks for your stories! i'll post a link to the article when it's published.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    randomgirl how long did you hold it in your mouth for?! :yuck: ach y fi
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kangoo wrote:
    randomgirl how long did you hold it in your mouth for?! :yuck: ach y fi
    Not long. I moved on to the second guy pretty quickly. Not sure if that makes it better or worse though.
  • KimonoKimono Moderating mare Posts: 201 Settling in
    Here's the finished article

    Thanks for all your stories, they made me :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At my first xmas party where I work I made the dreaded mistake of getting off it on E, then drinking myself into oblivion, I don't remember much.

    But I remember getting off the coach to meet my girlfriend, with my shirt ripped open, no buttons left, wearing someone elses much oversized coat completely shit out of it lol.

    Turns out I got booted out then tried fighting the bouncers (obviously I lost) but then I proceeded to wind them up for an hour before the coach came including pissing int he flowers out of the front of a very posh hotel in Cardiff hahahah. suckers.

    Needless to say after that I was good the year after, last year I was pretty good in general too... this year is on December 13th... look out!!!!!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have my first office party soon...not that keen on going tbh as not really matey with anyone at work. Plus am scared I will get drunk and end up a) snogging someone inappropriate and then having to sit next to them at work for the next 10 years
    b) telling them all why they annoy me
    c) falling over
    d) telling them my life story
    last time I went to a club with work ppl I ended up telling this guy I don't like about my history regarding drugs and crime, don't think he's ever looked at me the same again. :cool:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Our 'office' party last year was awesome, although possibly unique.

    Got two of the Lifeguards over from the other site (management insisting we had someone lifeguarding) and put the inflatable in after closing time and played like small kids (well kind not entirely like small kids :naughty: ) to our hearts contents......

    Then took over the party room with drink and food etc and a bouncy castle til those who hadn't left fell asleep/passed out on the floor.

    Best party for a long time!
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