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Joke thread

Former Member · 2006-10-17 17:59:56

There's been quite a few threads about jokes so I thought I'd start one where all the jokes go. Here's 2. A man walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre So the barman gives him one! How do you get two whales in a car? Cross the Severn Bridge.

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

And another one that caused us to wet ourselves (luckily, more people find this amusing)

A little girl walks into the lounge one Sunday morning, where her Dad is reading a newspaper.
"Where does Poo come from Daddy?" she asks.
Her father, feeling a little perturbed that his five-year-old daughter is already asking difficult questions, thinks, and then replies,
"Well you know how we just ate breakfast?"
"Yes?" replies the little girl.
"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff. Then, whatever is left comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet. That's Poo."

The little girl looks disgusted, and stares in stunned silence for a few seconds before asking, "And Tigger?!"

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

My jokes are far too sick to be posted up here.

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Click here

sorry ...it made me laugh

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

What did the leper say to the prostitute....

Keep the tip!

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

What did the deaf, dumb and blind boy get for Christmas?

Cancer!

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

Why do men whistle on the toilet?
So they know which end to shit out of.

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

Be prepared:Princess Diana.

http://embark.to/saddam

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

A guy walks into a bar and sees an attractive girl at the bar so he walks over and says "Hi my name's Bond"

The girl stops him and says "Oh yeh like I havent heard this one before, let me guess. Your name is James, as in 007"

The man replies "No, like Uni....Uni-Bond....im here to fill your crack!"

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

So a duck walks into the bar and says, "do you have scotch." The bartender replies, I don't serve ducks and the duck walks out. A little while later the duck walks back into the bar and says, "do you have scotch?" The bartender, getting a little perturbed says, I told you duck, we don't serve ducks here and if you come in again I'm going to nail your little webbed feet to the bar. So the duck leaves. Again, he returns a little later, and walks up to the bartender. The duck asks, Do you have a hammer and nails? The bartender replies, no. Then give me a scotch

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

what colour starts a car?

khaki

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

Why was the washing machine laughing?

Because it was taking the piss out of the knickers.

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

my_name wrote:

So a duck walks into the bar and says, "do you have scotch." The bartender replies, I don't serve ducks and the duck walks out. A little while later the duck walks back into the bar and says, "do you have scotch?" The bartender, getting a little perturbed says, I told you duck, we don't serve ducks here and if you come in again I'm going to nail your little webbed feet to the bar. So the duck leaves. Again, he returns a little later, and walks up to the bartender. The duck asks, Do you have a hammer and nails? The bartender replies, no. Then give me a scotch

!

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