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Guys: how would you let someone down gently?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey guys, im really hoping you can help me here.
im wondering, how would you guys react if you found out that someone very close to you had strong feelings for you, but you didnt/couldnt feel the same way about them?
Would you feel wierd being around them (especially if they made it clear that if you werent interested, then they didnt want things to be wierd.)? would you try to act as normal+not let it affect the friendship?
Also guys, what are the 'unwritten rules' on doing stuff with a friends ex?
thank you, i lok forward to your replies!
im wondering, how would you guys react if you found out that someone very close to you had strong feelings for you, but you didnt/couldnt feel the same way about them?
Would you feel wierd being around them (especially if they made it clear that if you werent interested, then they didnt want things to be wierd.)? would you try to act as normal+not let it affect the friendship?
Also guys, what are the 'unwritten rules' on doing stuff with a friends ex?
thank you, i lok forward to your replies!
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Comments
In terms of mates ex's... personally I couldnt do it!
Hi there, the fact that you say 'letting them down gently' is a good start as it shows a mature and positive approach to relationships. You may find this article on how to reject someone helpful. I think it's natural to feel slightly weird, but it's worth making an effort to maintain the friendship if they say they don't want it to affect the two of you. (and it's a friendship you really value.) It sounds like they just need to know where they stand so they can move on if you're not interested. Good luck
Friends Ex, my (ex) best mate went out with one of my ex's. She was still a little hung up on me....now the "best mate" and i dont speak...in fact our whole group dont.
Its not a good idea tbh.
If in doubt leave it out !
just kidding, altho it has worked in the past.
just be honest, its the only way
Can you tell us why nothing can ever happen ? or do i need to re-read the original post :rolleyes:
edit : Just re-read it, there is no specific reason, just the fact you are scared of how they may react. As i said b4 he probably knows you like him. Being a bloke he may just be a little to dumb to act on it.
Id go for it! You will only regret it if you dont, and if you do go for it and he says no. Then at least you will stop all these "what ifs"
i kind of want to tell him (or for someone else to tell him+gauge his reaction) so he can reject me+i can move on knowing nothing can happen+get over it.
Always a chore...never a pleasure...or something
If a girl likes you and you don't reciprocate the feelings have a heart to heart with her and tell her in a serious, not pissed off, or condescending tone that you are not interested, but you would like to be friends with that person.
If you are polite, don't hug/kiss etc. with other people around her.
A friends ex is properly available on the market again. Except the ex is a friend of yours and he wants her back, then it's a bit difficult.
i think that it all depends on who that person is
if it was like your best friend then i would say dont ruin the friendship you have as it could go all wrong and the friendship may suffer but if it was like your best mates brother i say go for it hehehe
the unwritten rules about friends ex's differs from everyone. i would be very annoyed at my friend if she did that but if she came to be and asked me about it i think id feel less like i wanted to rip her head off and more accepting.
hope this helps with your problems :angel:
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if he does then meh. It wasnt ment to be, as hard as it sounds.
Get your friend's permission if it was fairly recent.