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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey. Just wanting some advice/thoughts.
Split up with the ex (of four years) about 18 months ago. She started seeing another guy soon after and obviously I was pretty devestated. We didn't keep in touch all that regularly as I didn't want to do the 'friends' thing. I saw a few girls but nothing serious.
Then around 6 weeks ago we met up and obviously the old spark was there, we had a laugh etc. She then sent a couple of kinda cryptic texts saying she was really sad about us breaking up etc. To cut a long story short I found out she'd split with the other guy and we went out a few weeks later and had a great night, she stayed over etc and things were great again. And we decided to give things another try.
We've seen each other on and off over the last few weeks. Everyone we know, parents, friends, family etc. are delighted we're getting back but I think she seems under pressure with all the hype etc. She's been away on work last week and I met her yesterday and she seemed a little stand offish. I could tell something was bothering her.
So last night she was saying she wasn't sure she was doing the right thing, and that maybe we'd changed. I was again pretty gutted because to me it seemed perfect and I can't understand the change of heart in just the last few weeks. We talked it out and I think she's a bit worried about the pressure being put on by others that this is it now, and generally feeling stressed as shes got big exams coming up.
I feel really confused as it was hard to get over her, and now she's come back into my life I don't want to let her go again. We've agreed to cool things off in the meantime for a month or so, see how things are.
I guess I'm wondering what anyone else's perspective is. Anyone else went through something similar? I know I was a bit quick to let her back in, but it's the way I am, and I never really got over her. I believe we're perfect for each other, and I genuinely thought she did. Hmmmm...
Split up with the ex (of four years) about 18 months ago. She started seeing another guy soon after and obviously I was pretty devestated. We didn't keep in touch all that regularly as I didn't want to do the 'friends' thing. I saw a few girls but nothing serious.
Then around 6 weeks ago we met up and obviously the old spark was there, we had a laugh etc. She then sent a couple of kinda cryptic texts saying she was really sad about us breaking up etc. To cut a long story short I found out she'd split with the other guy and we went out a few weeks later and had a great night, she stayed over etc and things were great again. And we decided to give things another try.
We've seen each other on and off over the last few weeks. Everyone we know, parents, friends, family etc. are delighted we're getting back but I think she seems under pressure with all the hype etc. She's been away on work last week and I met her yesterday and she seemed a little stand offish. I could tell something was bothering her.
So last night she was saying she wasn't sure she was doing the right thing, and that maybe we'd changed. I was again pretty gutted because to me it seemed perfect and I can't understand the change of heart in just the last few weeks. We talked it out and I think she's a bit worried about the pressure being put on by others that this is it now, and generally feeling stressed as shes got big exams coming up.
I feel really confused as it was hard to get over her, and now she's come back into my life I don't want to let her go again. We've agreed to cool things off in the meantime for a month or so, see how things are.
I guess I'm wondering what anyone else's perspective is. Anyone else went through something similar? I know I was a bit quick to let her back in, but it's the way I am, and I never really got over her. I believe we're perfect for each other, and I genuinely thought she did. Hmmmm...
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Comments
It's a good idea though, cooling it off and that. I know what it's like when there's loads of pressure from other people on the relationship, maybe when you'e both had some space you could have a lot more "just us" time, so there's less pressure from other people.
When I got back with my ex, things were hard because we hadn't really spoke about the shit that'd happened when we split up and the other people we'd been with, but once we had a heart to heart about it, then it got a lot easier.
Hope it works out :thumb:
Yeh the cooling off thing sounds good, she probably is really scared and needs time to allow her guard to come down again.
Sounds like things will be ok, keep us posted :thumb: