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Please help - urgent advice needed
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
A few months ago I was working away, same old story I know. basically I got drunk at the hotel bar and wobbled off to my room. The woman I was breifly talking to then jumped in the lift behind me. Before I knew it she was rummaging around and went down on me. She was pretty big and in my drunken state I couldn't get her off me. I couldn't push her off becuase I was pretty shocked and somehwat scared. Eventually I managed to get free. When the lift doors opened I legged it to my room as quick as I could and dived in the shower.
I have not told my wife becuase there is know way she would believe me. I have never strayed in 14 years together but she is still jealous type. How could I tell her the story above and expect her to believe me. There isn't a day goes by when I have not replayed this in my head, when I wished I had not gone in the lift, or drank so much. I don't even remeber what I said to her in the bar. I don't know why she picked me or what her reasons for doing this were.
That was 4 months ago. Although I did not ejaculate, or go hard. I was that drunk, my penis did enter her mouth. however I got no symptoms of anything. Figuring I'd had a lucky escape and doing nothing in the way of a test I tried to put this episode behind me.
Last weekend I had unprotected sex for the first time since this sorry episode, with my wife. We allways use condoms. She has since been suffering a painful and itchy vagina, which she puts down to thrush. Unfortunately the medicine given to her to clear this up has not worked. She been and got another lot of the medicine and it still has not worked. Now I'm convinced that this event in the lift must be the reason and that I have given something to her. I absolutely cacking it. I don't want to lose my wife and kids for something I didn't want or instigate, but there is no way I can tell her and get her to believe me. Afterall, I'm a 6foot2 thirty something, why couldn't I have got her off me.
So what to do. I'm trying to get a test. I'm pretty sure that
1 - it will be positive for something. Afterall I don't know how many times she had pulled the lift stunt. Judging from the speed of the attack she seemed well practiced at it.
2 - I have infected my wife.
any advice will be appreciated. I'm panicking like mad. This morning I was up at 3 am and I can't eat anything. I have nobody I can tell this to and I really don't know what to do.
Please help!
I have not told my wife becuase there is know way she would believe me. I have never strayed in 14 years together but she is still jealous type. How could I tell her the story above and expect her to believe me. There isn't a day goes by when I have not replayed this in my head, when I wished I had not gone in the lift, or drank so much. I don't even remeber what I said to her in the bar. I don't know why she picked me or what her reasons for doing this were.
That was 4 months ago. Although I did not ejaculate, or go hard. I was that drunk, my penis did enter her mouth. however I got no symptoms of anything. Figuring I'd had a lucky escape and doing nothing in the way of a test I tried to put this episode behind me.
Last weekend I had unprotected sex for the first time since this sorry episode, with my wife. We allways use condoms. She has since been suffering a painful and itchy vagina, which she puts down to thrush. Unfortunately the medicine given to her to clear this up has not worked. She been and got another lot of the medicine and it still has not worked. Now I'm convinced that this event in the lift must be the reason and that I have given something to her. I absolutely cacking it. I don't want to lose my wife and kids for something I didn't want or instigate, but there is no way I can tell her and get her to believe me. Afterall, I'm a 6foot2 thirty something, why couldn't I have got her off me.
So what to do. I'm trying to get a test. I'm pretty sure that
1 - it will be positive for something. Afterall I don't know how many times she had pulled the lift stunt. Judging from the speed of the attack she seemed well practiced at it.
2 - I have infected my wife.
any advice will be appreciated. I'm panicking like mad. This morning I was up at 3 am and I can't eat anything. I have nobody I can tell this to and I really don't know what to do.
Please help!
0
Comments
Looking back I wish I had but I wanted to get clean and didn't really know what to do. Men are not supposed to be attacked by women.
As I said, I'm panicing about this big time. What did I say to her to make her thing I was up for it. I was pretty mych out of it. I know from past experiance that she'd have to have been some kind of snake charmer to raise the little guy!
No symptoms so I tried to put it behind me - then this! So not getting tested is another mistake which will cost me very dearly.
a - he went away on business and picked somebody up and brought home a dose
or
b - what I outlined above.
There is no way she is going to believe me. Blokes don't get attacked by women.
I wish I had gone to the police, at least then I could come clean. This is eating me away.
Go to the GUM clinic for your peace of mind. Get tested, give them a false name if you want to but realistically I think it's something else. Women can get all sorts of things like this that aren't sexually transmitted.
The main issue here is your guilt and your relationship. You can't go on like this and it seems like you need to make a decision whether or not to tell your wife and stick to it, rather than agonising over it all the time. It sounds like you're in a loving and committed relationship, you may be surprised at how much you'll be able to get through together if you are honest. But it's your choice and only you can decide.
To actually have somebody from the medical profession say that the chances were low is a help though.
Still wish I'd reported the initail incident. If the sexes had been reversed, then it would have been attempted rape or serious sexual assault, but as I said, a combination of embarrsament, shock and complete stupidity stopped me. I still can't belive I let it happen to me. One more for the evils of drink!
you either tell her
or
you have to stop letting it prey on your mind
Thanks for all the comments this far, they are very much appreciated.
Has she been tested for anything yet or not?
Tests have come back and I'm negative - big false alarm. Tonight I am most definately going to have plenty of beer in my own personal celebration at home! Paid a load to have the tests done at a private doctors so the results would come back in 2 days. Worth every penny. GUM clinics quote 2 weeks - I'd have gone mental waiting that long.
Thanks for all your positive comments. They were all very much appreciated. At least I will have done well on the diet front as I've eaten nothing since Monday - where is that vending machine!
I don't see what he would have learnt. Its not like he was intentionally unfaithfull if you can even call it that.
It was more something that would shit you up and you hope it wouldn't happen again, which under the circumstances it would be unlikely.
I'm glad everything has worked out good for you anyway
:-)
try not to let it eat up at you anymore it won't get you anywhere.
good luck.