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Sex with an ex

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Is it really not a good idea?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    depends if you both have feeligns for each and whether you can have sex without being emotionally involved
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Depends what your reasons are for splitting up in the first place and what Vicky said.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, we both still have feelings for each other, I wouldn't be able to not be emotionally involved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's really not a good idea.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    It's really not a good idea.
    unless both of you are wanting to get back together
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, cheers x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    VinylVicky wrote:
    unless both of you are wanting to get back together

    Well yeah.

    But then it's not really sex that's the issue, it's whether they want to get back together or not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    Well yeah.

    But then it's not really sex that's the issue, it's whether they want to get back together or not.
    true term, that
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Yes, we both still have feelings for each other, I wouldn't be able to not be emotionally involved.

    And the end of that sentance is the reason why you shouldn't do it, no matter how much you want, it will only mess your head up. You need a clean break not to go back over old territory.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always think a situation you feel comfortable with - you don't question. Best to avoid questioning situarions.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    True :) Thankyou people, just a bit screwed up at the mo, as being blackmailed about it too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Is it really not a good idea?

    No
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Yes, we both still have feelings for each other, I wouldn't be able to not be emotionally involved.
    in that case no
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when me and my ex split up we were sort of seeing eachother after and did think about getting back together so we carried on having sex every now and again but there was more to it than just the sex. we split up a year ago and we had sex for the first time in a while last month. it's all good. :p;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bad idea Kirst. Especially if he can sink to blackmail over it. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers Lucifer, it's nice to know that it can work. I'm not sure whether it would or not in my situation.

    I'm still not certain what I'm going to do about it, but will think some more.
    Thankyou for the replies though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nice to know what can work?

    what do you want to achieve from having sex with your ex, anything?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nice to know what can work?

    what do you want to achieve from having sex with your ex, anything?
    You said that it's all good type thing, maybe I misinterpretated or something!

    I don't really want to achieve anything, I know that it's a bad idea for me to get back with him, and I don't want to- so I won't be thinking in the 'ooh we've had sex, so he'll want to get back with me' way, I've kinda seen the light! I just want it to be sex with a friend type situation. I'm sure I still have feelings for him though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's all good yeh but we're not getting back together.

    in your case i wouldn't say having sex together was a good idea.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's all good yeh but we're not getting back together.

    in your case i wouldn't say having sex together was a good idea.
    Ok, thankyou :) I don't think it's a particularly good idea whilst I have feelings for him, but guess I just need to think more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well to be honest i had strong feelings for my ex when we first started sleeping together after we split up and he did too but more so on my side i think. they subsided but i still have feelings for him even now. dunno in what way though.

    just do what you think's right. if you sleep together you sleep together, worse things have happened. just be careful.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well to be honest i had strong feelings for my ex when we first started sleeping together after we split up and he did too but more so on my side i think. they subsided but i still have feelings for him even now. dunno in what way though.

    just do what you think's right. if you sleep together you sleep together, worse things have happened. just be careful.
    That's similar to me and my ex, I have feelings for him, but they aren't as strong as they were, same with him from what he's said.

    Cheers :) What I think is right is giving it a go, you only live once etc, but at least then I will learn either way, like I said though, will think a lot more about it yet :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You said earlier that blackmailing was involved? how so?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was mentioned that he would sleep with someone else, probably at work etc etc etc.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    your-babe wrote:
    It was mentioned that he would sleep with someone else, probably at work etc etc etc.

    Who's to say he won't anyway? This is just something else to think about as if you're no longer together then he doesn't have that same commitment of loyalty to you.

    If exes are still sleeping together, then generally it means there isn't acceptance that things are over. Lucifer's experience does sound slightly different to most, as it sounds as though she and her ex are just close friends anyway - sometimes if you want to have sex and haven't met someone new, then it can feel right to go back to what you know if no new partners are involved.

    If someone is trying to make you feel bad for not having sex with you then that isn't a sign that you are 'close friends' it's more of a sign that there is a power trip going on.

    Have a look at this article on getting over it to remind yourself of the dos and dont's.

    Take care - and look out for yourself, not your ex ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    That's similar to me and my ex, I have feelings for him, but they aren't as strong as they were, same with him from what he's said.

    Cheers :) What I think is right is giving it a go, you only live once etc, but at least then I will learn either way, like I said though, will think a lot more about it yet :)

    that's like 99 people tell you not to jump from the cliff, and a single one says do jump! you will rise, and fly like an eagle.

    Sounds like a swell idea to sex someone who you have feelings for, but it's very sure you are going to deeply regret it.

    go ahead, while I wait for the sequel-thread then.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yup, sex with an ex is an extremely bad idea, the longer you were with them and the worse the breakup, the worse still it becomes.
    I did it, and it hurt us both even more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    djrafikie wrote:
    yup, sex with an ex is an extremely bad idea, the longer you were with them and the worse the breakup, the worse still it becomes.
    I did it, and it hurt us both even more.

    I disagree. It hurts ONE of those two. If it was such an issue for both involving parties, then they would start going out again, not?

    If both care or do not care it's a lovely thing.
    but usually it's a dependence/power-relation, imho.
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    your-babe wrote:
    Yes, we both still have feelings for each other, I wouldn't be able to not be emotionally involved.


    For this reason, it would be a very bad idea.

    Trust me, I'm talking from experience :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Helen** wrote:
    Who's to say he won't anyway? This is just something else to think about as if you're no longer together then he doesn't have that same commitment of loyalty to you.


    yeh it's not nice thinking of an ex sleeping with someone else. especially while you're still sleeping with them. we don't have sex on a regular basis or anything just when we see eachother..it sort of just happens.

    me and my ex have never asked each other whether we'e slept with anyone else since we split up. i'm not naive so i'm going to assume he has. they can't be that good though if he still comes back for more. ;)
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