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Yay or nay?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
If you have been having a fling with someone,the sex is amazing, the kind you'd want to have for the rest of your life.....but then you start to like them....it's much better to tell them how you're feeling than to carry on? Cos once you tell someone and they don't feel the same, you can't just carry on having sex....it's better to go for the all or nothing isn't it? No matter if you'd want to die of shame if you bumped into them and feel hurt if they only want you for sex?
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you could have missed out on the love of your life, which in my opinion would be harder to deal with than humiliation/embarresment!
what if you never tell him, keep on having sex, get more and more feelings and then end up getting hurt anyway?
Im shit at hiding my feelings.
I've had some horrible dreams this week about him having a gf and it's really got to me. I had a bad one last night and it's been on my mind all day.
I have took the coward's way out and texted it to him, jsut before I posted thi. I'm that much of a coward I've turned my phone off now!
I know what the answer is, I just need to get it off my chest. After all, I've known him 10 years, been doing stuff with him nearly a year and he's only ever said anything abuot us being more than sex once.
I can't figure out why people put so much significance into sex, that you rather try to have a bit of it for some unknown time longer, instead of trying to really get a partner who's worth it.
because he has the same thinking pattern like you in your original post. If you both know each other for that long I can with most safety tell you he's not doing you for the sake of doing you, but he is afraid you give him the cold side, after he admits to it.
take action: now!
And lol I don't need it for the rest of my life with him, I'd like it but I'd like more with it, it was a way of expressing how I really enjoyed it and that I'll miss it if he says he wants nothing more.
I may be confusing my feelings with the good sex here, that's why I need to know!
Oh and I've turned my phone on and nothing......now this is where everyone says "you should have said it, not text it!"
When this first kicked off he had been persuing me for quite some time ut once we hooked up he cooled off a bit and so did I then it just got into this rut.
Whatever happens, I feel 10 times better for telling him.
nah cool down. you know what happened when I last got a text like this? I wrote 10 fricken minutes on a re-text, always deleting and replacing words... and in the end fucking deleted it all, put the cell phone away and thought a tad more. But you are right, if he's not responding at all, this can do your head majorly in.
Sorry that I can't relate to your situation in the first paragraph, never been there, so I don't know...
It's done now. I haven't fallen for him, I couldn't imagine falling for someone in a situation like this but I have got feelings for him. I feel relieved and at least I'll get closure and can move on......to my next unsupsecting vicitim haha joke.
If ever I have been asked out and I’ve not been interested, I’ve always always responded and told them where they stand. My reasons may not always be honest (mainly to spar their feelings) but I’ve never left someone hanging.
Stuff it. I just feel relieved it’s not on my mind anymore, know what I mean?
eta: so you've known him for 10 years and you've been seeing him for a year. maybe hes just really shocked and doesn't know what the fuck to say. he might be thinking about it.. or maybe he just is a coward.
is there a chance you might bump into him anytime soon?
I really want to know the answer !!
Want to read the post where you tell us that he feels the same and its one big happy ending
He does like me but he doesn’t want a relationship – he has apparently talked himself out many times on asking me out properly etc. He also said the day he has a relationship is when he meets ‘the one’. He thinks he’ll know who this is when he meets them and he won’t have doubts etc, it will feel right. (well that’s a dream we all have I think and fair play to him believing in that) I took that as though I am not ‘the one’.
He would like to hang out more and do stuff other than sex and see what happens – but he’s adamant that he’s not planning having a relationship and he admitted he is scared of commitment. I pointed out to him that I didn’t ask for his commitment!
I told him everything I’ve been thinking over the last few months, nothing held me back! Thank god I didn’t cry or tell him I love him!!! I was just quite bolshy and open. I feel a bit of a tit now, but hey, so what.
So there we go…………………what he really meant was you’re great in bed so I’m keeping you hanging on by a thread
well done you for having the courage to come out and say it? do you feel better that its at least off your chest?
and I guess now you have your chance to try - you can follow his suggestion of spending a little more time with each other and seeing what happens