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Hole in arse
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
As above, I have fairly large hole in my arse (7cm x 3cm x 4cm) that some rather knife happy surgeons made for me a couple of weeks ago. It's all packed and dressed and has a particularly fetching 'flesh coloured' aka skany pink specialy shaped plaster type thing over the top.
I've only seen my lovely boy once since coming out of hospital and I was barely able to move so nothing was an issue, I lay in bed looking truely pathetic and he sat on a chair and chatted.
Now I'm feeling a lot more human and he's coming up to stay at the weekend. Now I know I need to talk to him about it, and have kind of and he's said he likes me however I am, BUT I don't really believe that someone wouldn't be bothered by that, tbh I don't like it and it's my body!
My vague plan was that I would sleep in my PJs, well t shirt and boxers (I am a girl but they are good to sleep in) and would stick to stuff that didn't involve me taking the boxers off. What do you guys thing?
I've only seen my lovely boy once since coming out of hospital and I was barely able to move so nothing was an issue, I lay in bed looking truely pathetic and he sat on a chair and chatted.
Now I'm feeling a lot more human and he's coming up to stay at the weekend. Now I know I need to talk to him about it, and have kind of and he's said he likes me however I am, BUT I don't really believe that someone wouldn't be bothered by that, tbh I don't like it and it's my body!
My vague plan was that I would sleep in my PJs, well t shirt and boxers (I am a girl but they are good to sleep in) and would stick to stuff that didn't involve me taking the boxers off. What do you guys thing?
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Comments
Is it not obvious?
Imo, its just night wear. Wear some boxers, wear some pants, naked, nightie, long johns... whatever is comfortable for you. (though I'm not a guy so maybe I shouldn't be answering)
If he does mind, give him a second asshole
The long term solution to surgery where they cut out all the problem area and leave a big hole to heal up of it's own accord, which in my case will take a couple of months
am as interested in what guys have to say if not more so, not sure how freaked or not I'd be seeing/getting intimate with someone. I can't really see it myself and I'm happy with things that way, hence the concern for someone else!
As for what you should wear, I really wouldn't make a big issue of it. Wear something that will protect the bandage from being pulled off, but don't hide it and don't be frightened of showing him it. And if you do get frisky don't try and hide it under knickers, but obviously you'd probably be better off on top or on your stomach rather than in the missionary.
just wear wide boxers, so you don't have to take them off. If you personally aren't comfortable, don't have intercourse - obviously. He will have to accept that.
But I think you have more of an issue with it yourself than your boyfriend would. I don't think he'd care (in the sense of: it's a problem for him) even remotely what you think.
I thought everybody had arsehole?
As for it putting off your bloke - I don't think it would bother me.
Do you not feel comfortable around him?
I suppose it all depends on what kind of relationship you have, for me the first thing i would say would be do you want to see my hole :razz: make a little joke about it and leave it at that.
I don't see why it would become an issue its a little hole but either way im sure its nothing for you to worry about.
If your uncomfortable with the idea explain that to him and i'm sure he will understand. Good Luck.
If it were a small hole I really wouldn't be bothered, been there and done that one after the first operation, this one is big enough to put an egg (as in the sort hens lay) into! Hard to believe I know. :eek:
I trust him completely and usually feel comfortable around him (unusual in my case) but recently have been feeling like a disfigured malfunctioning mutant, hence the issue.
Sure it'll all be fine, and anyway, I'm just looking forward to seeing him again.
I guess its things like this can easily shake up your body image.
I think trying to hide it so you can still have sex without him noticing it, is not necessarily the right route to take. I know you must feel horrid and although im sure you know really that your not disfigured, I can see how easy it must be to slip into that way of thinking.
He needs to see it really, and you need to be reassured that its OK, and hes not grossed out by it. From what youve said, I dont think its going to be as big a problem as youre envisaging, but I hope it all goes well anyway.
tbh I think anything along the lines of sex is out of the question unless the pain levels change massively over the weekend. I felt I was very restrained when I complained to the nurse I was in more pain and she said to put up with it and be pleased as it was a good sign of healing!
It's nice to hear the reassurance though, thanks guys!:thumb: