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How to ask a girl out?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
What exactly do you say?
do you jump right in or build up to it?
do you ask if there single first?
do you keep it general "would you like to go out with me sometime?" or more specific like "ive got a spare ticket to the concert next week would you like to go with me?"?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think first of you need to find out if they're single, but you could maybe find out from a friend rather than ask them straight out (although watch out for the gossipy types that will run to the girl and be like 'so and so asked me if you were single, i think he fancies you...' lol), a mutual friend is probably a good bet. Then chat to them for a bit first and get to know them a bit better and become gradually more friendly as that way you can tell if they are interested in you too. The 'i've got a spare ticket' approach is good as you have something arranged there and then but they may think you're taking them along as a friend rather than as a date. Personally, i don't like guys who jump right in with it before i've got a chance to know them properly as its a bit awkward, but it depends on you and on the girl.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You’re better finding out if she’s single first, the best way is to ask her what she did at the weekend/last night etc.

    Start a conversation about some film that’s out (or whatever), make sure you’re getting good vibes, and ask her if she wants to go and see it sometime.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Chocolate fairy wrote:
    I think first of you need to find out if they're single, but you could maybe find out from a friend rather than ask them straight out (although watch out for the gossipy types that will run to the girl and be like 'so and so asked me if you were single, i think he fancies you...' lol), a mutual friend is probably a good bet. Then chat to them for a bit first and get to know them a bit better and become gradually more friendly as that way you can tell if they are interested in you too. The 'i've got a spare ticket' approach is good as you have something arranged there and then but they may think you're taking them along as a friend rather than as a date. Personally, i don't like guys who jump right in with it before i've got a chance to know them properly as its a bit awkward, but it depends on you and on the girl.

    :yes: you might find the following articles on the first conversation and asking someone out helpful. ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've never known a girl to have a boyfriend, and not mention him within about 10 minutes of you knowing her. Maybe I just have a really strong "I want to fuck you" vibe, and they feel the need to warn me off, but it seems to apply to all girls. Flirt and make suggestive jokes, and she'll soon tell you if she has a boyfriend. Otherwise, assume she hasn't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MattLiverpool wrote:
    I get that a lot but i've noticed sometimes it's like a test and they say it since a lot of men come on to them, so if you overcome it and make some sort of joke out of it you will sometimes find they actually don't or EVEN that they do but they find you interesting so they don't care lol.

    Hmmm this is interesting. I was chatting to this girl at a bar once, and she was giving me all the signs, like repeatedly touching me on the arm and on the waist, giving good eye contact etc etc, and then at some point she mentioned she'd been with her b/f for a year or something and I just sort of thought "Oh, damn, well nevermind" and carried on chatting to her for half an hour and then she left. Anyway, afterwards my friends convinced me that she didn't have a b/f as we see her around alot and never see her with a guy, although none of us really understood why she said she did. Anyways, believing this knowledge I asked her out a couple of weeks later and she just sort of laughed it off (not in a nasty way) and we never really spoke again and that was that. I still see her around alot and am still convinced she has no boyfriend. So could it have been because I failed to pick up on it at the time and failed her little test that she eventually said no?! Why all the games lol? And Matt, seeing as your the expert (!), I still kinda like her, but after what happened and the long time of not speaking since, is this beyond rescue? Any advice?!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Matt!
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