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boyfriend's mum a pain

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and although his mom is a nice person she is just very bloody possessive and annoying! She has two sons and my boyfriend is the youngest boy. He left 2 weeks ago to start uni and she emails him every morning and rings twice a day. I can understand its hard for him to be so far away although he's only 2 hours away but is it just me or is this just a bit much? I left for boarding school from a different country 6 years ago but my parents didn't ring me nowhere near as much even now I speak to them about once a week and we're close. My boyfriend doesn't seem to mind in fact I think he rather likes it. :( I know the emails and phone calls aren't going to stop because his brother is in his second year of uni and she still does the same to him. I don't know why this is bothering me so much! It seems so silly but I just needed to let it out after having a video chat invitation rejected for the millionth time because 'mum's on the phone' any ideas how to stop this bothering me so much would be much appreciated! thanks

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a really big deal for Mams and Dads when their kids leave home after 17 years or however long, even though she does sound a bit intense.

    I'd just try and accept it as aprt of the relationship if I was you, no point getting between a Mammy's boy and her boy 'cause it'll only cause shit :no:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah id be a bit weirded out and i know what you mean.. mummys boys are the worst because theyre so close- i always feel slightly scrutinized.
    but unfortunately theres nothing you can do, its his mum after all, and youve just got to put yourself in his situation im afraid.
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    The youngest bird has flown the nest. I'd give her a bit of a break, tbh. It'll die down in a bit but it is an emotional time for her. Unlike the relationship you had with your parents, it is probably the first time her youngest has left home for such a long period of time. And it is for your boyfriend to do something about, not you. But as he seems ok with it, you just need to bite your tongue and forget about it. Otherwise it will end in tears.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It'll calm down. I doubt he's ever been sent away to boarding school or anything like that before. Parents worry, and if they're not used to being apart of course they're going to be clingy. He'll probably get settled in and realise he doesn't have the time/want to talk to her that often and she'll relax a bit.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i doubt it'd calm down as it hasn't with my boyfriends brother who has been in uni for 1 year and now stating his 2nd year, he still gets the calls. i know there's not much i can do about it. i'm determined not to let something like this end a wonderful relationship so i guess i'll just have to keep it in!
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    crystalx2 wrote:
    i doubt it'd calm down as it hasn't with my boyfriends brother who has been in uni for 1 year and now stating his 2nd year, he still gets the calls. i know there's not much i can do about it. i'm determined not to let something like this end a wonderful relationship so i guess i'll just have to keep it in!


    You have to keep it in otherwise you risk losing your boyfriend. If it doesn't calm down then you just have to accept it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's something he has to sort out for himself. I would get a bit grumpy if somebody was telling me to stop my mum from calling even if I'm perfectly capable of heaving a sigh when I see she's calling for the third or fourth day in a row. ;) But it's my mum and she's been invaluable to me even after I moved out (sort of).

    I think it's a bit different also when the kid leaves the country like in your case. My brother did and he gets contacted far less than I purely because of the phone expenses + time difference. But mum loves to call him anyway and does so more thanks to Skype, but it's not as handy as calling me. ;)

    If you're trying to talk to your boyfriend but he's on the phone, just delay it and go do something else to distract you. You can also just tell him to contact you when he's finished.
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