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Missing out

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel like im missing out quite a bit by not living in halls. :crying:
Everyone else ive spoken to seems to have developed these great friendships already with people they either live with or share their hall with and i'm just finding it quite hard to make conversation with people because we dont really have much in common. After the initial "hi im so and so whats you name/what course are you on/where are you living" ive got nothing to say after this...
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why don't you have anything in common? there's more to life than talking about living in halls!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    such as..?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well the friends you have from home - you met them etc without talking about living together!
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Not that I've ever been in halls, but I don't think you're missing anything else than an (admittedly large) number of opportunities to find out what you have in common. You still can, it's just not as easy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ask them about music, hobbies, interests, where theyre originally from, where they went the night before, how theyre finding life at uni, if theyve joined any clubs, how theyre finding their course... theres plenty of things to talk about! if you think you're getting on ok, ask them if they want to go for a drink, get a coffee, meet up for lunch or something. just keep making the effort and you'll be fine!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you'll just have to make friends in lectures and tutorials. you've already said that you have loads of new numbers. make sure you keep in regular contact outside of classes and go out with them on student nights or meet them in the library etc.
    there are loads fo things to talk about other than halls. i'm pretty sure you already know that! of course its hard at first. and whilst you're there worrying that you can't make as many friends because you're in halls, there are people actually in halls who are worrying that they're not fitting in or being left out of things. people in halls still have to make loads of effort because of the huge number of people living in one building.
    im sure you know what to do, just keep being your sociable self and give it time. you've only been there a week or 2!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    4 days.. this has cheered me up a bit though, ta to those who replied :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know how you feel but you can't blame it entirely on you not living in halls - it might just mean you need to make a bit more effort. i didn't live in halls either. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Where are you living? It's not all about halls though, you can meet people in the department, in the library, in the union and loads of other places. In the first week it'll mainly be the 'hi I'm so and so' things but stick with it, keep chatting keep trying and remember that most other people will think you have lots of friends and they don't really know anyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Although I was only at university for a brief time, I learnt one or two things about accommodation. I was in shared flats with Unite. Personally, I might stick to that arrangement next time. It gives you far more space than you might otherwise get in a halls of residence. Bear in mind, however, that the "great friends" that these people have met will probably be the same ones that get on their tits by Christmas...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was kind of in halls in the first year (they were off campus, but it was about 30 flats in the building). Anyway, by the end of the third year, I only still hung out regularly with two people that I'd met through my halls. I had a lot of pretty good friends, but I'd met them all through my course, through other friends, and through generally hanging out with people at parties and stuff. You just have to take any opportunity to get involved in things in a group. Talk to people in queues to clubs and things. If you're not great at talking to strangers, then hang out with a group of people who are, and just join in after they've broken the ice a bit. But it's always better if you can do it yourself.
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Although I was only at university for a brief time, I learnt one or two things about accommodation. I was in shared flats with Unite. Personally, I might stick to that arrangement next time. It gives you far more space than you might otherwise get in a halls of residence. Bear in mind, however, that the "great friends" that these people have met will probably be the same ones that get on their tits by Christmas...

    Erm, not necessarily.

    The only 2 main people I am still in contact with are two of the girls I shared my flat with in first year. We stayed in university controlled flats, only 6 in the block and they are my best friends.

    University is what you make of it. Speak to people on your course, people in the SU etc etc. I know of plenty people who werent in halls that didn't miss out. You just need to make a bit more of an effort.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i swear i cant go to any of the society events because i live at home and its a missions commuting home at night!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, i dont see the whole masisve importance of halls. I mean yeah, i get on with everyone here and we've been out for a drink or two, but my best mates will always be my best mates. I think you have just as much chance of meeting your best mate in lectures, in the pub or on the street as u do living in halls. The only reason friendships grow so quickly is because they have to. You wouldnt stay in halls with a bunch of people you didnt get along with now would you.
    Its more of a personal experience than a "making friends one.....by that i mean, you firgure out how to live on your own....thats how it is for me, but maybe im just a bit odd. lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    vmong wrote:
    i swear i cant go to any of the society events because i live at home and its a missions commuting home at night!!!

    That's one of the problems living away from uni. Does your uni have a night bus? It probably won't take you home but might take you to somewhere you can more easily get home from. Another thing would be to get a sleeping bag and crash on friends floors for special events.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know what you mean icey. Everyone i've met is living halls and there seems to be nothing i have in common with any one here, so far the people i've met are from upper class backgrounds and have got alot of financial support from their parents, and when i tell them where i'm from they seem to turn their nose up at me one guy said to me yesterday, oh and you got into uni ! hello! just because my area has the reputation of producing down and outs doesn't mean we're all going to become one !
    i thought uni was full of open minded people not jus narrow minded snobs ! (no offence anyone jus my opionion of my uni)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    5 of my flatmates are from halls. But 2 of my most hated enemies are from there also.

    Yeh you probably missed out by not going to halls in terms of meeting new people but not the end of the world. There's the lectures and tutorials and also the night life aswell.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    know the feeling! Ive been finding the same thing, although I have also met a few others not living in halls. I missed 98% of freshers week because of this. Someone may drop out of the halls though so Id try get on a waiting list. Thats what Ive done and Im now moving into halls. Otherwise try and find people who are looking for others to share a house with. Im convinced ive missed all the partying opportunities at my halls to meet people but hoping ill be able to join in somehow. Also join a society. Ive joined one which ill go to every week as soon as im living closer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, aside from my roommate and the girl who lived above me (who I actually met on my course and only found out later she lived there!) I made no real friends in halls.

    All my friends are from my course or the Union, my memories of halls largely centre around 40 people trying to share 4 toilets and 2 showers..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote:
    To be honest, aside from my roommate and the girl who lived above me (who I actually met on my course and only found out later she lived there!) I made no real friends in halls.

    All my friends are from my course or the Union, my memories of halls largely centre around 40 people trying to share 4 toilets and 2 showers..

    Maybe it varies from place to place. I cant wait to meet my new flatmates! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not one of the friends I made at uni were made in halls, so I wouldn't worry at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think halls would suit icey a lot more than some other people though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, I've made more friends through work than I did in halls. I now only talk to 2 people I met in halls and I live with them. I didn't really like the people I lived with in the halls. To be fair though, I wasn't myself at the time. I like the ones I live with now though :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can meet friends in halls, in societies/clubs, on your course, at work, or even in clubs/bars when you go out.

    I know people who haven't lived in halls and have still made loads of mates.

    When it comes to it, it's what you make it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In the same situation, I'm a little uni cottage, the uni actually forgot about us and all of last years mail is still here. Everyone else has posters put up with the terms events!! :(

    I finally have a styc rep though, 3 girls came to talk to me and said our house didn't have one, they didn't realise anyone lived here :rolleyes:. So hopefully, can make some friends soon - made friends with everyone in my house but they're hardworking nursing students, where are the hard partying theoretical physists??

    I met some guys like night by sitting down next to them. Same today. I think it comes to down to just trying, repeatedly...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hard partying theoretical physicists?

    You won't find many of them, sorry mate! Best bet is to find other friends, it';s not a piece of piss, you will have to try!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in my first year on my very first day i had a lecture and beforehand while we were waiting outside i got talking to this girl and we still sit together in lectures now in our 3rd year. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hard partying theoretical physicists?

    You won't find many of them, sorry mate! Best bet is to find other friends, it';s not a piece of piss, you will have to try!

    Lol it was a joke from a film I watched. Apparently they are the worst ones for getting drunk :p

    Going to a freshers event tonight which should be good... just have to see how it goes though!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Probably because (I realise I am generalising here) physicists are weedy geeks who don't get out much so are lightweights! Although I was a Gen Engineer last year, so maybe slightly biased!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At lufs, the physics department are renowned for their drinking.
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