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How Long is Too Long?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Was watching some TV Show where people get into teams and have to go on some adventure trip around the world.
Anywya two of the people it said had been dating for 12 years and then in brackets their team was called "The Virgins"
Each to their own but I think 12 years is way too long to be with someone and not jumped them or said let's get hitched or at the very least engaged.
I'd say for me 3 years is the maximum time I'd want to go out with someone before we at least got engaged...cos eventually I wanna settle down and have kids, etc so I'm looking long term
How's about you folk?
Anywya two of the people it said had been dating for 12 years and then in brackets their team was called "The Virgins"
Each to their own but I think 12 years is way too long to be with someone and not jumped them or said let's get hitched or at the very least engaged.
I'd say for me 3 years is the maximum time I'd want to go out with someone before we at least got engaged...cos eventually I wanna settle down and have kids, etc so I'm looking long term
How's about you folk?
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i could easily stay with my current girlfriend (touch wood) for another 4 years were both 18 and at uni, it would be madness commiting like that
So no, I don't think relationships have a time limit.
however i knew someone who had been in a relationship for 9 years without getting engaged. it ended and she feels it was the right decision, and feels no bad feelings for it.
Damn right. :yes:
But as for getting engaged/married, I've always liked the phrase 'living in sin.'
There is no time limit at all. Some couples are really career focused and don't want to have kids anytime soon. Some of them get along so great, because they are really absorbed of their work and have each other to enjoy one's company in the evenings as a balance.
I would not be put off if anyone told me he is together without engagement for x years. Engagement is just 'words' anyway. Just because you are engaged doesn't mean you marry anytime soon, and I rather not jump in there too quick.
If you are not sure if it's the right partner then engagement won't help you anyway to "bind this partner onto you".
In conclusion: I rather disagree with you. I think an engagement is much more worth if you are together for +5 years, because it seems as if there is much more worth and appreciation behind it.
/edit: Might be possible that I misunderstood there something. 12 years together without sex? Sounds unhealthy to me. What kind of devotion is that? to stay together without intercourse? Sounds counterproductive since sex is a great sign of appreciation, trust and love and not having sex and "saving up for someone" for such a long time sounds rubbish.
Yeah I can understand one or the other - i.e. long engagement or no sex before marriage but a 12 year+ engagement + no sex for all of that time seemed a bit much to me..
as primitive as it sounds, but people need to 'click' sexually too. Not having sex for 12 years, to save oneself up, is SOMEHOW like marrying a stranger.
maybe a bit crude this comparisons, but that's how I feel about it.
12 years with a person you (hopefully) love, without ANY action? I wonder if they are ashamed of each other nekkid, when coming out of the shower or something.
I don't get it, but each to it's own.
I guess if you weren't a sexual person, and you were doing it for the companionship, then fair enough, but just seems mighty odd.
Iknow which show it is - it's the amazing race on Sky - not sure which channel but I saw that too.