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I don't need friends like these

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
It was my birthday yesterday, most people didn't remember, I spent the day with one person though. She wanted me to go someones party in the evening, but seeing as I felt miserable I said I didn't want to go, to which she called me a jerk (on my birthday) - for some reason this made me start the waterworks lol.

Anyway, ex-girlfriend stepped in and got me a cake and watched dvds and stuff, maybe not the most sensible course of action seeing as she did cheat on me and things, but hey, it was that or be on my own and cry. So today asked my ex-friend if she had a good time, she said yea, said she'd been sending naked pictures of herself to one guy, and trying to grope another, (I think to try and make me jealous as we've been flirting a little recently), then I said I felt bad but the party organiser didn't mind, she said it was good I felt bad, at this point I was pissed off at her since she made me cry on my birthday :p so I said sarcastically 'yea, it was great that i felt like a shit on my birthday' and then she started to lay into me about how i was being shallow and i think ive got it tough..

at which point I stopped talking to her. I know she stalks me on the net and will come on here and read this (ages ago I posted a link to here on my lj, and she comes on periodically to read everything I write, I don't think she knows I know though, and whenever she 'found out' things about my ex, she said it was from someone at school, but it was actually from her stalking me on here).

Seriously, I really can pick them can't I??? I don't have any bad feeling to my friends who kinda forgot lol.. I mean I did feel a bit unspecial but you know. I just cant abide by people who are going to lay into me for being selfish on my birthday!

Ah fuck it. At least I've got a year til the next one. Thanks for fuck all, Em, if you're reading this.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah Em, you dick
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *huggles* Sounds a bit shit, hope you are ok now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know why, but some people are fine and "oh so supportive" for about 3 days after something bad happens, but God forbid you should still be upset about it several weeks later. Im not surprised it wasnt your best birthday ever. youve had a shit time of it lately, and in my opinion, birthdays are a big anti-climax at the best of times, so this time was likely to be even worse. Not very nice of your "friend" to make you feel even worse, just because she wanted to do something and you didnt.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she said yea, said she'd been sending naked pictures of herself

    I DO need those friends! you hear that stalking girl??

    anyway, yea.. Fuck them, the fact that she stalks you is actually evidence of incapacity, since she's calling you shallow and tries "not to care about you". Fuck her, you are not her doormat, she'll regret being a dick earlier and more than you will.

    And about the birthday thing. Don't mind, I can't tell you the one of my father precisely, my grandma precisely, and from some friends neither. I don't mind if someone forgets my birthday. Many blokes just are like that, even a lof of girls I know.

    Make big birthday plans and invite people and don't sit there and wallow around in "oh nobody is thinking of me."
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heh, it wasn't that I wanted a big deal made out of it, just that everyone pretty much except for my ex girlfriend (and her mum, lol) forgot. My family forgot :/. Mum wrote me out a cheque for £60 though :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wish I knew what's happening inside those people. First cheat on you, but then spend your b-day with you. If I was sad and it was friday or saturday big party night and someone brought me a cake and stayed with me... I swear I marry this person, and if it's my grandma!! (or not).

    It surely is not guilt... Nobody is perfect, but she does not sound like a utter cunt.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe she was so pissed off at you about not going to the party was because she fancies you. she sounds very immature anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Birthdays suck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    junker wrote:
    Birthdays suck.

    Indeed they do. Nearly everyone forgot mine this year. says me who has forgot my friend's birthday for 2 years in a row; even though I did ask him when it was:blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    junker wrote:
    Birthdays suck.

    edit
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in school a lot of people (well actually allmy mates) forgot my birthday most years as it is right at the end of summer. I used to hate it but this year after my first year at college and now i have real mates i got about 6 texts, 4ish comments on myspace, and loads of us went to thorpe park so i got a few pressies too :)

    but yeah it does suck and i feel for you. Your mates seem like dicks and your right you dont need people like that
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I understand them forgetting, as like everyone does for other people's birthdays, and I got 2 texts (and then one from Franki later on hehe) - but one of them being so unsympathetic as to turn it back on me??? It's just ridiculous.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't want friends like that!

    You want friends like these, here at globalmegafriendtracker we offer a wide range of friends, tall, small, skinny,fat, mentally and physically challenged, we have them all! So head down to globalmegafriendtracker asap and we'll find you the right deal!

    Notice to disclaimer-friends may or may not be human!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My birthday was on the school ball... so everyone kinda forgot :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know why, but some people are fine and "oh so supportive" for about 3 days after something bad happens, but God forbid you should still be upset about it several weeks later.

    I think it's the soap effect. As in soap operas. On a soap, someone can die and a week later it's like they never existed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i didn't realised anyone used the word 'jerk' to be honest.

    i wouldn't have shed any tears over it. :no:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was more the way she said it, not the actual word heh. Like, people can call me a cunt and thats like water of a ducks back, but when one of your friends says something and it cuts really deep...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And it all starts to come out..

    found out some of the private stuff I've been posting to my livejournal she has been gossiping with everyone, even people I don't know. I never bothered making it friends only as I trusted the people who knew it, but it's kind of daisychained.

    What is wrong with some people? How could she have called me her friend??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its confusing how some people seem to find the pain of others enjoyable, and as you are "friends" she thinks she can get away with it more. Leave her. Get away, and I hope you find better friends :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its confusing how some people seem to find the pain of others enjoyable, and as you are "friends" she thinks she can get away with it more. Leave her. Get away, and I hope you find better friends :)

    Yea, uni soon :)

    One thing that got to me a bit, is that I wrote unflattering things about some people due to circumstances - and to be fair in that light they were justified - but now thats in the past, yet she'd been sending the links to people I didn't know, but who knew the other people, and they got all arsey with me, and I had random people, not insulting on me, but kind of.. bullying... in a small way.

    Like one guy asked me if my house was smelly. I said no, he then said 'oh, is it minging then?', I said no, then he said 'scaggy?'. I could have punched him. But that's because he thinks I'm an arsehole for writing stuff on my livejournal, but to be honest it was never his business in the first place, none of the stuff I put on there was untruthful, it was all fact, and the reason I put it on there was to vent and to get support from my friends as I was going through a tough time.

    So to bring it up weeks later and start having a go at me about it, because my 'friend' thought it was funny / gossip / wanted to make this other girl suffer, is just, arghh. I mean, I cant really defend myself because if you say mean things about someone then you cant say 'its ok', but given the circumstances (heck, even the girl I said about understands and doesn't blame me) it's understandable, and its infuriating that people I dont know are criticising me for something they're not involved in and don't have any business sticking their noses in, like they know best.

    I said to the girl (who i said mean things about) that if he's pissed off at me then we could sort it out the old fashioned way, but she laughed and said I'd snap him in half, lol. I cant be doing with men who bitch 10x worse than women, and hide behind them too.

    Sorry, I keep ranting, things are going better now anyway :) haven't spoken to the shit stirrer and don't really want to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And it all starts to come out..

    found out some of the private stuff I've been posting to my livejournal she has been gossiping with everyone, even people I don't know. I never bothered making it friends only as I trusted the people who knew it, but it's kind of daisychained.

    What is wrong with some people? How could she have called me her friend??

    yeah, but in that issue it's your fault.

    It always intrigued me, how people could write, "I FCUECKED BRAD'S GALFRIEND LOL UP THE POOPER!" on their LJ and wonder the next day, why brad is breaking their nosebone. If you don't want it to get read, don't fucking post it online, or at least make it private.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote:
    yeah, but in that issue it's your fault.

    It always intrigued me, how people could write, "I FCUECKED BRAD'S GALFRIEND LOL UP THE POOPER!" on their LJ and wonder the next day, why brad is breaking their nosebone. If you don't want it to get read, don't fucking post it online, or at least make it private.

    In my case it was more like 'I found out xxx was cheating on me with xxx today. How shit. We broke up.' Kind of thing.. of course it was more drawn out etc. but that's what it was about. I didn't have an issue with it being read, don't you see? I wanted to get it off my chest. The problem is, this was 2 months ago or so now, and its kind of in the past, and then loads of people who werent / arent involved are sent the link by my 'friend' and all start gossiping about it amongst themselves and saying bad things about me, because they dont know what happened and some of them thing I was making crap up to stir shit (but, it wrote it for myself, not for some idiots to go on so they could slag off their friend) and some of them - incredibly - have just been slagging my ex girlfriend off, i.e. their friend.

    They never would have known about my journal if it wasnt for my crap friend sending them all the link.

    It's like saying someone who leaves their car unlocked that it's their fault for having it nicked. It's partly their fault, but you cant insinuate they deserved it. Some people (and they are a rarity these days) believe in trust.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    They never would have known about my journal if it wasnt for my crap friend sending them all the link.

    It's like saying someone who leaves their car unlocked that it's their fault for having it nicked. It's partly their fault, but you cant insinuate they deserved it. Some people (and they are a rarity these days) believe in trust.

    I don't know, for me there are only two people:
    1) who make their LJ private
    2) who set it out to have their LJ read.

    and maybe
    3) those who don't care, but make it private after some bad experience.

    Things like that HAPPEN ALL THE TIME... Jesus, I am PhD in Internet for several years now, and there is ALWAYS someone to find some private shit of you and spread it.

    My worst experience is a girl I had feelings for who printed chatlogs of our convo and read it out aloud in the breaks when I wasn't around. You just ask for problems if you write bad stuff (JUSTIFIED OR NOT) about people online.

    and yea, if I don't lock my car and it gets stolen it's totally my fault. Sorry, I don't leave my car unlocked unless I live in a town with 10 inhabitants where I know everyone. If you leave your car open on purpose then you are stupid! period.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea but the only inhabitants of my livejournal were people I did trust, it was someone betraying my trust that led to the leak. Just does my head in because its none of anyones business. Anyway, I dont want an argument - the internet is a public place and anything put anywhere on the internet shouldn't be considered secret - fact. However, when you talk to friends about things you're going through that are quite... difficult to deal with - you may not explicitly say 'dont say anything about this to anyone' but you expect them not to go around blabbering about it to people you dont even know just to be spiteful.

    There's two different arguments, one of security - in that, yes, its my fault, because I dont privacy protect it etc., but also one of trust in that it's not my fault, because I placed trust in my friend (and I had actually told her not to go on talking about the stuff to other people, this particular friend, because I was worried it would upset people) and she not only betrayed it, but shit on it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From my previous experiences, the world is a sad place. We should trust no one but our selves and only look after the number 1.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    luke88 wrote:
    From my previous experiences, the world is a sad place. We should trust no one but our selves and only look after the number 1.

    Depressing but it seems more true these days. Post of the week?

    Thing with me, I donit know why, but I always tend to trust people, invest my hope and feelings in people, and a lot of the time they let me down. But I find my being risky and giving out a lot of love, you're more likely to get more back. Of course, there's also all the pitfalls of people screwing you pretty badly...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Depressing but it seems more true these days. Post of the week?
    Well it's dam well true!
    Thing with me, I donit know why, but I always tend to trust people, invest my hope and feelings in people, and a lot of the time they let me down. But I find my being risky and giving out a lot of love, you're more likely to get more back. Of course, there's also all the pitfalls of people screwing you pretty badly...
    I see some similarities here.

    I have, in the past trusted people way too much. I was in a relationship for over 6 months but it was more like 6 months for hell. I had fallen in love, a mature love where has he stated he loved me but his actions were selfish and immature. That maybe the caomparision between you and your friends. You're probably more mature and grown up than them.
    Like with me and my ex, we used to argue over stpid things, but they were caused by him and hurt me a great deal. After a blazing night of rows, i ask him to lets sort it out next day and make a clean slate. He doesn't see the point in that. Or if he did agree, he would say all the same shite again like he's sorry (sometimes he didn't even say that) and I would believe him (well deep inside I didn't but I was desperate for it to work).
    I went through hell and back. He tried to give me an overdose, he locked me outside his out for around 12 hours where it rained all night and I was so cold. Still haven't got over that one. He has hit me many times, let me hurt my self as I believed it were my ault. He kisses my friends. He has let his friends come up to me and wack me or hit me for no reason then he would give them blind support. Ah I could go on.
    I needed someone to turn too. Turn to my family? No way, it was a gay relationship, my mum doesn't agree with them. Turn to my friends? I tried.
    But they were no back bone. They treated my ex as though he was a saint and left me there to cry every night for months. I was really depressed. I had no one. I had no faith in anyone. I was even begging for it but I didn't even get that! I went on depression tablets and had to see someone but they still didn't care! The depression tablets led me to commit suicide, they still didn't care!
    Now I don't trust any of them and have got rid of the lot of them. I don't have many friends now. I'm starting to make new ones and I tell them of my experiences and they do seem to have a back bone for me. i mean, they would stick up for me and support me. Which i really need. I go uni next week so that is gonna be a fresh start for me. I've got rid of all the bastards in mjy life. It's been very very hard. being lonely 24/7 is not fun but it has to be done for the sake of your self.

    Now only my interests come first. i come first. I may open up and be in a relationship one day and I may have a chose friend/s. But not for a long time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    luke88 wrote:
    From my previous experiences, the world is a sad place. We should trust no one but our selves and only look after the number 1.


    Absolutely. Trust no one. I have learnt that from bitch so called "friends". I trust a sacred few. Look after yourself mate :)
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