If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Essential support for under 25s
Essential support for under 25s
Take a look around and enjoy reading the discussions. If you'd like to join in, it's really easy to register and then you'll be able to post. If you'd like to learn what this place is all about, head here.
Comments
she hasnt said "if you go its over" or "you are NOT going"
she has simply said how she feels and that its upsetting her, she isnt makin a big deal or being a head fuck
i trust my fella 100% and although i dont have what you call high self esteem, i certainly dont consider myself to have low self esteem, but i still wouldnt be comfortable with it
i`m sure if it was just a night out to a few pubs or clubs, she wouldnt be arsed, she doesnt sound possessive to me
she is gettin upset about a "big thing" not somethin simple like him goin the pub to watch the footy!
my fella goes out without me a lot, i dont mind, i would mind a naked/half naked woman sittin in his lap and dancing on him, does that make me possesive?
and she didnt ask him to stop doin anythin
man, i`m goin round in circles.... :rolleyes:
even if she IS insecure, dont u think he should be more supportive? rather than feed her insecurities by havin a stripper?
Like i said, not everyone is going to be thrilled about a stripper peeling her clothes off in front of her boyfriend. It doesn't always mean they're insecure, possesive or a headfuck.
maybe thats worrying a little too much. But some people get more wound up/worried than others. Lets not label her before we hear the full story.
I know its not exactly the same, but its still only different degrees of the same thing. Some are ok with it, others arent. Each realtionship has its own boundaries, and just because someone gets freaked out by the thought that their boyfriend is going out to get aroused and danced to by naked girls masturbating in front of him or on his lap, that doesnt mean shes necessarily over the top insecure. She MAY be that, but not all people who are anti it, are insecure.
good point.
i didn't ask for personal attacks.
first of all... i'm not insecure... i actually have a really high self esteem.
im not afraid of him going out, i never make a deal when he goes out with his friends, i trust him around girls. i'm not afraid he's going to leave me for a stripper, no shit. its the fact that i have a problem with a girl rubbing herself on my boyfriend...
look at it this way... if she wasn't getting paid for it, no one would expect me to be ok with it. why is it ok b/c she's getting paid?
i didn't tell him not to do it, i just told him how i felt about it. yeah i got myself worked up about it, i wasn't PHYSICALLY sick i just felt sick about it.
You also need to ask what the exact problem is. Is it just the physical contact? Because it's acceptable in my opinion to only feel comfortable with a certain amount of physcial contact (I think most people would draw the line at sex with a prostitute tbh). If it's the fact that he finds another girl attractive (which I presume would be the problem in the case of just watching strippers rather than getting a lapdance) then you have more of a problem. Because your partner is going to find other people attractive.
I totally agree with you here.
Different people have different boundaries, some things are fine for some and not for others. Problems only arise when people have a different opinion. I would hate the idea of my girlfriend going to see a stripper. If my girlfriend thinks the same way and sees it as unacceptable, then fine we don't have a problem, if she thinks it's fine then we do, but isn't that the same as everything? Some people are in 'open' relationships, in that case the girl would happily see her guy go off and have sex with another girl. Nothing wrong with that, but if he wanted ot go off and sleep with other girls and his girlfriend thought that to be unacceptable then there would be problems.
I look at it as being three situations, either you both agree that it's fine/not fine and there's no problem, you disagree but come to some arrangement and make allowances for each other, or you can't resolve your differences and end up going your seperate ways.
And the same for porn?
Blokes like looking at naked girls. That aint ever going to change and it doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
We had one for a bloke not to long back where she stripped him down to his boxers and led him around the floor on his hands and knees by his own belt.
Of course there was the customary whipped cream on her tits that he had to lick off but it's all just a bit of fun.