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Hand jobs - how quick?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Recently become adept at giving hand jobs - I'm sure they're not great, but the guy I give them to seems to like it, so I'm happy.

Only thing is, I'm never sure how fast I should be doing it. I know if I'm 'flying solo', I like it slow at first, building up and then finishing quite quickly with quite a bit of pressure, but I'm not sure if it's the same with guys. I know all men like different things but is there a general rule as to how quick you should be doing it?

My man thrusts and moans (assuming that's a good thing, although I do wonder whether it's just that I'm not doing it right and he's trying desperately to get into it! lol) when I give him a hand job, but after a couple of minutes he takes over. What should I be doing when he does this, because I've never made him come from giving him hand jobs and I'd really like to.

Advice please:D
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he's the one you should be asking tbh
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sit on his face with your legs on his hands and tell him off for interrupting.

    Mmhm.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love hand jobs. ;)

    TbH I dont like really slow ones, I prefer mine at a speed. Its an added bonus when its lubricated. :yes:

    On the internet I have seen something thats "how to give the perfect hand job", I suppose you could type it in google.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've never placed much value on hand jobs to be honest, the bloke can do it himself with much more ease and (often) enjoyment. Though obviously it's always nice to have someone else touching your bits.

    But yeah, it depends what your aim is as to how fast to go etc. If you just want to make 'im squirt then I would just go at it with a nice, firm (not tight!) grip and a wee bit of lube if possible. If it's as a precursor to other stuff then vary your speed, grip, and if you're up for it then get your gob round it, too :thumb:

    What I would recommend to you (and would do myself in this kind of "what does he like?" situation) is either ask him during the act if he likes it like that, what he wants you to do etc. OR, the fun way which would be to go in for a spot of mutual masturbation. It can be incredibly erotic and intimate and if you're in any fit state to be observant you'll be able to see what gets him off (other than the sight of you, of course ;) ).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you seen this article: http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/havingsex/performanceproblems/givetheboyahand

    My bf likes them so fast that it hurts my arms and exhausts me.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    HIT wrote:
    I love hand jobs. ;)

    On the internet I have seen something thats "how to give the perfect hand job", I suppose you could type it in google.

    Or there's always TheSite's version - give the boy a hand ;)

    ETA: doh just seen randomgirl posted this above! you're deffo gonna have to read it now Alasia!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The site has an ansew to everything. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys. My instinct is to go quite slowly, but past boyfriends have preferred it quite quickly - and when he does it himself (we've done the mutual masturbation thing btw, but I wasn't in "any fit state" to watch what he was doing! lol) he goes quite quickly and doesn't really vary the strokes or anything. Just an up and down 'pumping' kind of affair, which seems pretty boring to me! Is that how I should be doing it?!

    Oh and thanks for the link - never noticed that one :blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i like to start off slow to tease and towards the end i will go fast and ive never had any complaints, its the knowing when to stop that i have the problems with :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah just read your other post and I might have problems with that too...if I could get him anywhere near coming without him taking over! :rolleyes:

    But then I guess it's the same with me; if he's playing with my clit and stuff I can get so far, but he can't actually tip me over the edge into orgasm - I have to do that bit myself.

    Does anyone else have this problem?! lol.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    phew, my last hand job is ages back and it took AGES... but it was definitely worth it in the end ;)
    yea, just be sure to speed up in the end and keep pumping when he cums already. like, speeding up until the first jet fires, then slow a bit down, but still go at it. be veerry slow/stop when nothing comes out anymore.

    never slow down when he is about to cum, that will leave him blue-balled.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How fast or slow a guy likes it is really up to the individual man himself. If he's enjoying the way you're doing it right now though you must be doing something right. If it worries you that much why not ask him?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote:
    never slow down when he is about to cum, that will leave him blue-balled.

    his balls go blue?! :eek:

    yeah different guys like it differently, at a party once i was doing it at quite a speed, and he sed to slow down so i did, and he came within like a minute lol!! but he was very drunk.....

    but my ex liked it fast, when i lost my virginity we had sex for a while, but then i had to stop i cudnt stand the pain/pressure any more, but he hadnt come......so he said "do u mind if i finish this off" and i laughed and sed go for it, and he wanked REALLY fast, and then came.....

    so, to round off, different guys like it different ways, ;) just ask him about it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jenni30 wrote:
    his balls go blue?! :eek:

    yeah different guys like it differently, at a party once i was doing it at quite a speed, and he sed to slow down so i did, and he came within like a minute lol!! but he was very drunk.....

    but my ex liked it fast, when i lost my virginity we had sex for a while, but then i had to stop i cudnt stand the pain/pressure any more, but he hadnt come......so he said "do u mind if i finish this off" and i laughed and sed go for it, and he wanked REALLY fast, and then came.....

    so, to round off, different guys like it different ways, ;) just ask him about it!

    No man's balls ever get blue in a colour-sense.
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blue+ball
    I guess they are exaggerating as I have never experienced "pain", but it's really uncomfortable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm say do it at a tease. Go fast, then slow down. then fast, etc, you get the picture :naughty:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How fast or slow a guy likes it is really up to the individual man himself. If he's enjoying the way you're doing it right now though you must be doing something right. If it worries you that much why not ask him?

    Thing is how do I know if he's enjoying it?

    Men fake it just like women do don't they, so there's really no way of telling? *is very paranoid* lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alasia wrote:
    Thing is how do I know if he's enjoying it?

    Men fake it just like women do don't they, so there's really no way of telling? *is very paranoid* lol
    Well if he cums on you, your doing something right. :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's just a stimulation thing though, isn't it? He doesn't have to be enjoying it to cum...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's as good a sign as you're going to get, unless you just ask him how he's liking it! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alasia wrote:
    if he's playing with my clit and stuff I can get so far, but he can't actually tip me over the edge into orgasm - I have to do that bit myself.

    I actually find the opposite :confused: I don't really masturbate much any more, but when I do I can never make myself come in the way that my boyfriend can. It isn't everytime, but when I do it's explosive, whereas when I'm playing with myself, it's more like 'ho hum, is that it?'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I read something about handjobs by girls yesterday.

    It's like a dog, giving a cat a piggy-back ride onto a tree.

    Just use lube, start slowly, but increase in speed and with the other hand caress his balls or something. It's not rocket science after all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not rocket science after all.

    Hehe, that's my line!

    But you have a point.

    He texted me earlier and told me I leave him frustrated, because usually I start doing it, then get all shy and self conscious (and worried about pleasing him/doing it wrong), so I give up:eek:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You just go at the speed he likes. If it gets a good reaction, keep doing it. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1983 wrote:
    Sit on his face with your legs on his hands and tell him off for interrupting.

    Mmhm.

    yes please.

    Erm, slow to start, find a rhythm that he likes then go with it. Ive had girls before who just seem to 'flop' it about and it was awful, but I didn't know what to say. Someone I was with who was really good just got to know how I liked it and was ridiculously good, like could grab me and have me cumming within a minute if she wanted. When you get to that stage though, you also wanna tease, like slow down just as he's about to cum because it's mean, but makes it so worthwhile in the end.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's knowing how he likes it that's the problem.

    If he's moaning and stuff then that should be a good sign, right? But what if he's faking it?

    ETA: then again, I guess if he wa faking it then he's trying to encourage me and I'm basically doing it right; otherwise he wouldn't want me to carry on, would he?! Omg I've confused myself now!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alasia wrote:
    Hehe, that's my line!

    But you have a point.

    He texted me earlier and told me I leave him frustrated, because usually I start doing it, then get all shy and self conscious (and worried about pleasing him/doing it wrong), so I give up:eek:

    lol, you ask the internet how to do it, because you think you do something wrong. I mean, if you get slower and STOP AT ALL, how should he cum then :razz: Just put your hand around the shaft (4 fingers in one direction, thumb in the other), and make an up-down motion. use lube, don't be too slow (start with one time up and one time down each second, and at the end crank up to 120-180 strokes a minute.

    cup his balls, caress his nipples or touch yourself with the other hand. Making the average man cum is easy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww, thanks :D

    I don't always give up...just sometimes. Then we have sex. So it's not like he doesn't get to cum at all! Honestly, don't know what he's complaining about :rolleyes: :razz:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alasia wrote:
    Aww, thanks :D

    I don't always give up...just sometimes. Then we have sex. So it's not like he doesn't get to cum at all! Honestly, don't know what he's complaining about :rolleyes: :razz:

    I wouldn't be complaining if I were him. You seem to be doing your best to make sure you are satisfying him. As everyone has said, how he likes his handjob is an individual thing. Learn to watch is expressions and understand his body for clues as to whether he is enjoying it. The problem I have had in the past is that girls yank at it too hard.. LOL
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrLuvr wrote:
    I have had in the past is that girls yank at it too hard.. LOL
    Or wear rings. :crying: :grump:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe you need to show him exactly what you like... Touch yourself, with him watching and explain how you like it, and when you're about to come, let him take over and describe exactly how it feels.
    He could also do the same with you.
    Neither of you are mind readers, so I think there needs to be some more communication.
    Remember;

    An orgasm a day,
    Keeps the blues away!
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