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Help! sex drive missing!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
simple question really guys i wanted to ask while im searching for my own ansers. Recently (due to the stress of uni) my sex drive has gone. I mean, completely. My partners sex drive has always been higher than mine, but recently when we start doing things that could lead to sex i just think "god, i really cant be arsed, Boring!" I hate feeling this way, and would like to get my sex drive back!
Any ideas???
Also, do aphrodisiacs work? And if so, which ones work best? Any herbal remedies i can take?
Cheers
x

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    PearlyPearly Posts: 345 The Mix Regular
    Maybe you need to spend some time with your boyfriend away from the bedroom, like going out for the day or having a nice meal, and just let things happen slowly when you get back home. You could always try strawberries or oysters (think it's oysters?!!) , but seriously, I think it may be more to do with you trying to relax if it's stress from uni, perhaps get your man to give you a massage with some nice oils and music on...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Pearly wrote:
    Maybe you need to spend some time with your boyfriend away from the bedroom,
    :yes: well... either that or spice things up a bit, that might get you in the mood :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've been the same recently - just can't really get turned on or in the mood for sex at all. the last time i saw my boyf the sex was fab, but at the same time felt quite 'detached' from it all - if that makes sense? i still love my boyf as much as ever, but just wanted cuddles rather than humping.

    i thought it would come back after a bit, but so far, nadda.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Pearly wrote:
    Maybe you need to spend some time with your boyfriend away from the bedroom, like going out for the day or having a nice meal, and just let things happen slowly when you get back home. You could always try strawberries or oysters (think it's oysters?!!) , but seriously, I think it may be more to do with you trying to relax if it's stress from uni, perhaps get your man to give you a massage with some nice oils and music on...

    thanx for your reply. we do spend alot of time together, but only outside his bedroom at the weekends. i always go round+we chill out, watch tv, play the playstation, whatever. he's got quite a stressful job+with my uni stuff, we both just like chilling out though. Then we normally do something on a sunday (our only full day together) outside the house.
    We have also decided that we're going to go for a meal togther once a month. i cant afford much more than that, but it would be nice if we could do it twice a month.
    I know i need to relax, ive just made a thread about it in health.

    Otter, i think we do need to spice things up abit, but we're not sure how.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cavegirl wrote:
    i've been the same recently - just can't really get turned on or in the mood for sex at all. the last time i saw my boyf the sex was fab, but at the same time felt quite 'detached' from it all - if that makes sense? i still love my boyf as much as ever, but just wanted cuddles rather than humping.

    i thought it would come back after a bit, but so far, nadda.

    exactly how i feel! i feel horrible for it, but sometimes, especially after 20mins of solid sex, my mind wanders :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Otter, i think we do need to spice things up abit, but we're not sure how.
    use your imaginiation... ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'll give you some of my sex drive, if you like. It's very high atm with nobody to use it on except myself ;(.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    exactly how i feel! i feel horrible for it, but sometimes, especially after 20mins of solid sex, my mind wanders :(

    totally, petal. remember lying back at one point and thinking - 'this floor could do with hoovering'...and 'oooooh look at the cobwebs up there' lol. shouldn't joke, cos it's not funny really - i guess we can't force these things, if we don't feel like it now, we don't - stress and whatever can do loads of weird stuff to our bodies, so all we can do is just hope our OHs can be patient (they can always shake hands madam palm and her five lovely daughters for a bit longer if need be...):D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol, he is patient. his sex drive has always been abit higher than mine, and ive explained to him i think its lowered due to stress, etc, but i cant force these things. i think i know another reason why it could be happening too, but i dont wana complicate the thread too much by incorporating lots of different things into it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aww, that's ok - you only need to say what you feel happy saying on here. i know there's more than one reason for mine going haywire too.

    my boyfs the same too - v patient -he sometimes loses his cos he's on a v high dose of prozac and can't always 'get there' if you get me.

    hope you feel ok again soon, flower. am sure you'll be grand

    xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Losing one's sex drive can become a vicious circle - the less sex you have, the less sex you want it.

    Try and masturbate more often - even when you don't feel you want to - to kick start your libido.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My sex drive used to be exceptionally high and then dropped when I entered depression! It came back but again seemed to go again when I had problems 'down there' making sex painful and me reluctant! But recently I've been going up the walls as it's coming back.

    Looking back on the times it's dipped, I realised how when I was a stress-head (due to uni, relationship worries ect...) when it came to the moment of sex, my mind was elsewhere. I was worrying, wasn't relaxed and course there's someone there trying to stir some sexual feeling in you and you can't quite let go of the things that are getting to you. Maybe you could slow it down. Run a bath, find a way of quietly relaxing together, talking and getting to know each other, not like plonked infront of the tele watching a soap or anything like that. Maybe you could have more long drawn out foreplay WITHOUT having sex - and knowing that the foreplay isn't going to lead to sex takes your mind off of it and into learning how to relax again.

    I found also that the more my bf mentioned sex, the more it irritated me and made me reluctant. I just wanted the natural progression.

    I'm not sure what else to suggest I'm afraid, I will return with anything that comes to mind...!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can have some of my sex drive if you like. Being single now, I've got nowhere to put it. This week's drived me mad - my sex drive is at its highest ever. Waargh!

    Meantime, back in the real world... some time away from your boyfriend and from university might be what's needed. That way, after being away from him for a while, you suddenly feel "damn, I need a shag". So, when you see him again, suddenly, that horniness returns. :naughty:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Being single now, I've got nowhere to put it.

    I've got an idea ... :flirt:



    :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote:
    I've got an idea ... :flirt:
    :lol:
    Teagan, what have I told you about this? Our illicit affair is none of the business of TheSite.or... oh, shit.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Now now boys, not in public ;p.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    Now now boys, not in public ;p.
    What, you want to join us? :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not really, I have other people to make use of my high sex drive with :p.

    Said people aren't HERE, but meh ;(.
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
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