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Paying for it?

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    junker wrote:
    I meant for a dance... not sex. Sorry about that.
    if u ask a shop for free bread and milk, they'd reject you. it's her job, feelings don't come into it.

    i do some excort work every now and then - no money = no date. Period.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    rather than making the necessary changes to your personality that would make you a more attractive, appealing proposition to other women

    So, if someone told you that you needed a boob job to become more appealing to men would you do it? I don't see why I can't just be myself?
    sophia wrote:
    your resentment, which I would like to point out is entirely of your own doing and is not the fault of all the women in the world who've rejected you

    This comment really pissed me off. You have no idea how I've been treated in my life. You have no idea the cruelty I've had to endure. The constant humiliation I went through. It was only when I avoided women totally that I began to feel safe. You defending all the women in the world is just as ridiculus as me blaming all the women in the world. You and I both know that there are good & bad women.
    sophia wrote:
    "Can actually say I have had sex"?! Who to, exactly? Your mates?

    I'm gonna assume you're not a virgin. Because if you were you would understand the kind of pressure society puts on people to lose it. There's general consensus that people who can't have sex are weird or gay. Normally I don't listen to what society says but it can still get to me sometimes.
    sophia wrote:
    I personally would have thought that the first time you have sex it should be with someone who genuinely wants to be having sex with you

    That's not gonna happen...
    sophia wrote:
    If you want to do it then fair enough, go ahead, nothing I can say will stop you.

    I don't really want to do it. But I don't have any other options. And I don't think it's fair that I'm being denied the supposedly the greatest experience in life.
    Sofie wrote:
    Indeed. And how the hell would you explain that to any future girlfriends you have?

    As I've said that aint gonna happen.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    if you were you would understand the kind of pressure society puts on people to lose it. There's general consensus that people who can't have sex are weird or gay. Normally I don't listen to what society says but it can still get to me sometimes.

    That's wrong. yes there's peer pressure but I've never (or known anyone to eperience this) know anyone to have been called weird or gay because they don't have sex.
    I don't really want to do it. But I don't have any other options. And I don't think it's fair that I'm being denied the supposedly the greatest experience in life.

    Stop going on as though if you don't have it, it makes you pathetic or you're going to die if you don't lose it within the next year or so.
    As I've said that aint gonna happen.

    I've sid it once and I'm going to say it again - if you continue to be the way you are, then it won't happen. However, if you just wait and are patient, then it WILL happen.

    Answer me this then (anyone can answer this, actually) :

    What's so great about losing your virginity?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    That's wrong. yes there's peer pressure but I've never (or known anyone to eperience this) know anyone to have been called weird or gay because they don't have sex.

    Well, I have, to be honest. It's made worse because when you're not getting any it seems as though it's the topic of conversation in every pub and the subject of every TV show etc. I can understand his frustration. I have friends who haven't had sex in years and it effects them pretty badly from time to time. I suppose that's especially if you've previously been getting it, but yeah, I know my brain would be battered if I was in the original poster's position. I can see where he's coming from, and while it's hard to understand why he feels it's so important I think comments like this:
    I've sid it once and I'm going to say it again - if you continue to be the way you are, then it won't happen. However, if you just wait and are patient, then it WILL happen.

    aren't helpful. I understand your sentiment but that is just a true blue cliche. A willing spreadeagled lady isn't going to fall into his lap as a reward for waiting patiently; I think he has his work cut out to be honest (but I don't think it's a lost cause).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't mean it like that, sorry. What I meant was if he's patient, then in a few years time or so, he may find someone to settle down with. He also has to amke the effort as well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    I'm gonna assume you're not a virgin. Because if you were you would understand the kind of pressure society puts on people to lose it. There's general consensus that people who can't have sex are weird or gay. Normally I don't listen to what society says but it can still get to me sometimes.
    Ever heard the phrase "don't give in to peer pressure"? It's a good one to learn, and listen to. I spent most of my last few years of high school listening to people telling me that waiting til I was 16 was stupid, and that I should go have sex with anyone who'd have me. I didn't listen to them, and even though I ended up losing it 4 months before my 16th birthday, I'm glad I didn't listen to them, because that was MY choice. I'm a much better person for it, as well. All of the people that were saying to me that sex was this amazing thing weren't nearly as right as I thought they were going to be. The more people big it up to you, and you get this idea of it being heavenly, the more you're gonna be disappointed in the long run. And it's certainly not as good when you're doing it with some random person than if you're doing it with someone you really care about. Tbh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki, if I gave in to peer pressure I would of done drugs in school. I would of smoked and got drunk every night. I refused to do it and I lost a lot of mates that year. It's only effecting me now because of my weakened psychological state.
    sophia wrote:
    The problem with yourself right now is, to be honest, you don't come across as a very nice person.

    Good. Being nice gets you nothing.
    sophia wrote:
    No I'm not a virgin, but I live in the same society as you do and I didn't feel under any pressure to lose it

    That's some bubble you live in. Or maybe it's because your a woman, female virgins don't seem to get any stick for it.
    sophia wrote:
    and I don't think people who don't have sex are "weird or gay".

    Not a popular opinion.
    sophia wrote:
    If people think you're weird, I suspect there are other reasons for that tbh.

    Lets see: I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't womanize, I don't like pubs, I don't pick fights for no reason, I don't lie just because I can, I'm not selfish, I don't steal, I don't do drugs, I could go on for ages...
    sophia wrote:
    And exactly who is it you think is perpetrating this great injustice against you?

    I don't know. Fate? society? There's definately someone against me because every time things start to get good it just completely falls apart.
    sophia wrote:
    you'll wish you hadn't done it.

    That would be a nice change. Wishing I hadn't done something rather than something I didn't do.
    Sofie wrote:
    What's so great about losing your virginity?

    I don't know to be honest. It seems to be a big deal to everyone though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Or maybe it's because your a woman, female virgins don't seem to get any stick for it.

    Women do get stick for it. I have done.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think you'd dare walk up to a hooker and complete the transaction, and I don't think you'd dare ring up an escort agency and make a booking.

    And with an attitude that nice gets you nowhere, I'm not surprised you can't get laid.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    And with an attitude that nice gets you nowhere, I'm not surprised you can't get laid.
    :lol: true that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit's right
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I don't think you'd dare walk up to a hooker and complete the transaction, and I don't think you'd dare ring up an escort agency and make a booking.

    For a start it's a brothel. I don't get why you're trying to goad me into doing it though.
    This thread is too serious with lots of arguing :(

    It's because people like to bash me. I could start a thread saying "Aren't kittens nice" and have it turn into people telling me how I'm wrong and how everything wrong in my life is completely my fault then I'd have some prick barge in and start mouthing off about shit he doesn't even understand.

    I shouldn't be surprised though. I've been defending myself from group attacks my whole life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    It's because people like to bash me. I could start a thread saying "Aren't kittens nice" and have it turn into people telling me how I'm wrong and how everything wrong in my life is completely my fault then I'd have some prick barge in and start mouthing off about shit he doesn't even understand.

    I shouldn't be surprised though. I've been defending myself from group attacks my whole life.

    I don't think people are attacking you.

    Do you want to change? By that I mean, do you want to have more confidence with women and stop fearing rejection?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think people are attacking you.

    Indeed. It may sound like we are attacking you, but we're just trying to help you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you want to change? By that I mean, do you want to have more confidence with women and stop fearing rejection?

    Of course. But I don't know how to reverse the damage done.
    Sofie wrote:
    Indeed. It may sound like we are attacking you, but we're just trying to help you.

    Some are helpful. Some are blatantly attacking me. I don't mean to group you all together. I guess it's that defencive instinct I've got.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Of course. But I don't know how to reverse the damage done.


    Well, I think that what people are trying to say to you. Only you can change yourself and if you don't try to then it is your fault. I know that sounds harsh but its the way it is, nobody can do it for you.

    I think you have to face your fear and go talk to some women, it doesn't have to be with the intention of making a great friend/girlfriend out of it its just about talking for the sake of talking and the enjoyment of talking to new people. The more you do that the less threatened you will feel and by the time you meet the perfect girl for you, you will no longer be so scared of talking or even flirting with her.

    I sense here you are about to reply with "she will only reject me"

    Maybe she will, maybe she wont but whats the worst she can do anyway? Laugh at you, spit on you, tell you to fuck off? You can and will recover from any of those things and they are worst cases anyway. None of my female friends would be horrible to a guy for simply saying he liked them or showing an interest in them...not a single one of them.

    I am not saying you should go and try and pull every girl you meet but I do think you need to start talking to some women just in an every day way, doesnt have to be flirting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I think that what people are trying to say to you. Only you can change yourself and if you don't try to then it is your fault. I know that sounds harsh but its the way it is, nobody can do it for you.

    Oh right! It sounded like they were saying that all the things that happened to me in the past was my fault. I accept that I'm responsible for my future but I was getting pretty angry that people were implying that I somehow deserved my bad treatment.

    Anyway, the thing I'm worried about is that I'm not very emotionally stable at the moment and I'm afraid that I would take a rejection a lot harder than I normally would and that it would make me spiral down into a really bad depression. And there's the possibility that I could end up being suicidal.

    I guess I shouldn't even think about women at this point.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Oh right! It sounded like they were saying that all the things that happened to me in the past was my fault. I accept that I'm responsible for my future but I was getting pretty angry that people implying that I somehow deserved my bad treatment.

    Anyway, the thing I'm worried about is that I'm not very emotionally stable at the moment and I'm afraid that I would take a rejection a lot harder than I normally would and that it would make me spiral down into a really bad depression. And there's the possibility that I could end up being suicidal.

    I guess I shouldn't even think about women at this point.

    Well maybe not then, but its still important to get out and talk to people (well I think it is anyway) just silly conversations about anything.

    I guess then you need to decide what you are going to do about how you are feeling. Go and speak to someone maybe?

    Good luck with everything. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound that I wouldn't try your advice. I just need to wait a few days so I'll be in a better mood for it. I really do need to get out and talk to people more.

    Thanks for the advice. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This thread has way too many abstract elements inside such a simple discussion.

    First of all: Happiness. I personally do not think it is necessarily wrong feel jealous of others for being happy. It's not a good habit, but it is somewhat of a natural reaction. For example, if you were a kid at a birthday party and everyone but you got cake because they ran out, would you not feel at the very least some slight twinge?

    We all would like to be happy. Some of us have no idea what it is that would make us happy, but regardless, we want it. It is not fun being left out and seeing others have what you want, almost flaunting it. Almost.

    What needs to be taken into consideration when that instinctive jealousy begins to seep, is that person isn't you, so ultimately they mean squat in your life. It's a bit difficult to explain.

    The second thing I noticed was the discussion of society. Now, in this case (and others similar), society is partially at fault. If you are anywhere outside of the main-stream, your chances of connecting or becoming involved with someone else are exponentially less than an eqivalent in the stream. If you are initially more of an individual and less of a drone, you will be ignored until you do something such as expressing an opinion. Once you do that, you are practically banished unless your opinion was just like everyone elses.

    Personally, I don't think relationships and sex should really matter all that much. There are things far more important that are significantly more productive than running around trying to chase a lady all while wasting time, money, and effort just to see her get boned by some creep.

    My advice is to figure out something else to put your mind to. Something that is actually productive and something you'll benefit from and enjoy. Even if you feel like you're the only one on the planet after a while, it might keep you sane.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I don't think you'd dare walk up to a hooker and complete the transaction, and I don't think you'd dare ring up an escort agency and make a booking.
    Personally, I'd be shitting myself more going to a brothel and asking for sex than I would asking a stranger for her number in a pub.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Junker's right! :yes:

    Berk! I remember that guy! ^^
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    For a start it's a brothel. I don't get why you're trying to goad me into doing it though.

    Because I don't think you'd do it, for exactly the same reason you think everyone hates you all the time.

    Aww, are we all meanies bullying you? Oh noes. Perhaps what we're saying is right then- bitter whingers don't win prizes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    Because I don't think you'd do it, for exactly the same reason you think everyone hates you all the time.

    Aww, are we all meanies bullying you? Oh noes. Perhaps what we're saying is right then- bitter whingers don't win prizes.

    Meh. I'm not gonna argue with you. You clearly need to mature a lot more. Maybe when you've left school and got a job you might actually say something useful.
    sophia wrote:
    That's the point I've been trying to make to you.

    Oh sorry. I must of interpreted it wrongly. I guess I am bit stuck in the past.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lifeless wrote:
    Meh. I'm not gonna argue with you. You clearly need to mature a lot more. Maybe when you've left school and got a job you might actually say something useful.


    .

    :lol::lol: I almost choked reading that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    What I have said is that while you can't control the things that happen to you, the shit that life throws at you, and the way other people treat you...what you can control is how you deal with that, respond to it, interpret it, and whether you use it to make you a better person, or whether you allow it to eat you up and make you bitter and angry.

    Well said too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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