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Don't bother replying

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is just me ranting. All my friends are out of contact, and I just need a place to write a whole load of unitelligable bullshit.

About 4 months ago my parent's divorced, (literally 2 days before the start of my IGCSE's!). I took it pretty badly at first, but looking back on it, it was nothing really. Everything happened really quickly, and it wasn't until summer came that things started to go awry.

I took it pretty bad, having mum move away from home, but the thing that hurt the most was that she had gone with another guy. I hated that. 4 months down the track, I still haven't even seen him. I don't want to. I hate this guy. I blame him, largely irrationally, but it is nicer for me to blame someone I have nothing to do with than my parents. But Dad took it even worse. Living in Switzerland, he had few really good friends to turn to, so a lot of resposibility fell on my shoulders. That was bad, and has been playing in the background for quite a while, rearing it's ugly head a few times, but nothing really bad.

Then come my girl problem's, which can be summed up as non-existent at the moment. I've been rejected 4 times in 4 attempts, three times in the last month. But this isn't a case of findiing a girl in a bar, it's working on getting close to her.

But I'm bored with this post. I've settled down. There's not a lot to respond to, so mostly don't bother. Otherwise, thanx for listening to my rant.

And goodnight.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know how you would of felt my perants are allways aguing not much to say but hope your gcse's whent well

    se ya andy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my parents split the year b 4 my gcse's, i was thankin the lord that it had finally happened, ive never eva eva gotten on with my dad, he used to bully me terribly etc.
    i thought him goin was gr8 at the time and that it wouldnt affect me, but now 4 yrs later the realistion of never havin a 'proper' dad around has just begun to hit me over the past 3 weeks. i know its sad but i was watchin trisha the other day and it was a girl whos dad was lovely but she wanted him to give up his job in show bizz 2 b with her more(he was hardly away in the 1st place), well, he was so loving to her u could tell they were close he hugged her the whole time. this just made me cry and cry and cry for literally hours. i dont even know why its hitting me now, he lives 200 miles away and has a bitch of a girlfriend, but i dont give a shit, we moved the distance, and i know its selfish but i aint lettin no man get a grip on my mum, shes mine now and no man eva is gonna dictate to us like he used to.
    im sorry to write such a long crappy, boring reply but i felt like a rant aswell, i think i need to rant more but i'll spare u all.
    c ya
    hope things go ok from now on
    c ya love helly
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx j9,
    i think i was crying cause thats what i wish i had/have, i know i'll never get it but, but dreamin about it just makes me feel worse. my mum is gr8, she makes up for my dad, but it aint the same. i always thought that nearly every1's parents split, as up north most had, but down here(i kno it aint true)all my mates parents r still together, and i rarely hear of parents that split.
    i dont know why its hit me now, i wanted rid of him 4 years ago as he treated us terribly, esp me, but now i want a dad, but not how he used to b, it wont happen due to distance and his dominating, selfish temperament, hes out 4 himself.
    i'll give some examples, he took my bro to the red sea, on a £3000 diving holiday in may, when my parents were together, me and me mum and bro came down to my grandmas 4 a week, during that time he had an intensive motorbike course and bought a top of the range honda motorbike, 1 day he sold my mums car, it had gone in 2 the garage 4 a repair and he told them to keep it there and sell it, it was gone by that evening!! when i was in my car crash and taken to hospital he couldnt b gotten hold of-he was havin a 'romantic' weekend with his bird, and then he never rang for 2 days, and never even asked if i wanted him to come down,(for some reason after my crash he was the 1 person i wanted to let know immediately what had happened) so u can see he aint the nicest man alive.
    hes also put a fear in me of men, i can never trust a bloke, in relationships esp, i do have bloke mates, they just dont know i dont trust em, its a stupid problem which i have to work at i suppose, to me all men r bastards till proven innocent! and i aint proven 1 yet.(lads, please dont take offence its my problem)
    soz to rant again, it makes it a little easier,but im wanting someint i cant have.
    thanx again
    love ya helly
    soz to rant again
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's nice to know I've started a trend, but dammit, which part of DON'T BOTHER REPLYING don't you understand. :-)

    It's nice to know other ppl have gone thru the same thing, and to hear there reactions (instead of some useless stats that are amazingly heartless. The fact that 1/3 of all marriages end in divorce doesn't make it any easier. It's like saying that because all lives end in death (I think? :-) we should be able to cope with it.

    j9, I think the reason I don't want to meet this guy is cos I see him as the reason. She was already having an affair with him, then she decided to leave my Dad. That's why I have an irrational hate. And although I realise it is irrational, I refuse to make any moves to remedy it - at the moment, certainly, I hope the only time I meet him is when I have a big knife at hand to chop off pieces he probably wasn't using anyway.

    Alright problem solvers, some ideas (you're all so great at giving them): Birthdays and x-mas coming up (slowly), what is a good way to let both parents see me and my sis, without making either one feel left out and deserted. (It's actually a bit more complicated than that, but this'll do for starters.

    Thanx ppl.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don sounds wonderful, J9. You guys are lucky to have eachother and your lovely kids.

    My 'sperm donor' is a bastard too. My Mum took us away from him when I was 6 and I was close to him. We stayed with him every weekend and he was my all.

    My Mum never bad mouthed him but he always bitched about her. He destroyed my relationship with my Mum. On growing up I realised who was more mature of the two.

    When I was 18 it came out of the closet that I had been abused as a little girl by my mum's brother and my dad has never supported me through it. He rejected me because I dated out of my race and he hated that. He believes what happened to me (which makes him worse in my opinion). He doesn't want to face up to it though in case he blames himself.

    He has rejected me and my siblings because he would rather maintain his friendship with my mum's other brothers that call me and my sister liars. (Like we haven't got better things to do with our time!)

    My Mum has been great, she has supported me all the way through this and I haven't got a dad. The best thing he has ever achieved in his life was to create my siblings and me but he cannot even recognise that.

    My hubby is a wonderful father and you are right, J9, they are few and far between. Let's just be thankful, J9, that our kids have good Daddies.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Helly, email me if u want to rant some more. [email protected]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sniff sniff. Tissues please. You guys are wonderful. :-)

    J9, you hit the nail on the head with what you said about my loyalty to my Dad, and from what you said about your views coming a lot from your heart, it seems that you've been thru (still going thru?) and I'm going thru much the same thing.

    I live in Zürich, but we go most saturdays to Klosters/Davos to ski or Flims/Laax or Flumserberg. If you want a list of recommended resorts, I'm willing to oblige. Also for the avid wintersportsman, "Where to Ski and Snowboard 2000" is the best resort book out there.

    Is anyone else out there a keen skier/snowboarder?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my god u lot r so nice, u've got me crying now and i cant c the letters to type!

    thanx j9, ur bloke sounds lovely, i doubt he'd want and 18yr old daughter though! i can b a bit of a handful when i want.
    my email address is [email protected] if u wanna e-mail me, and i'll write back. i dont want u to feel u have to though, u dont need to b troubled about my insignificant problems, but thanx 4 offering and i will reply if u write.
    im gonna b crying 4 ages now, its terrible im stupidly emotional!
    my dad should b ringing my bro 2moro, ive spoken to him briefly the past few times as hes wanted 2 know how uni's goin,but i find it so difficult, hes like a stranger,& im scared to talk as i dont want him to feel as if hes won me over and were 'buddies', but i desperately want a 'dad'.
    thanx 4 listenin and replyin guys, i realy appreciate that people care when they hardly know me, i feel better 4 writing it down, dont reply if u dont wanna, im not expectin sympathy, just to have a rant, but as i mentioned earlier its nice to have a reply and advice as i feel im at a dead end.
    thanx again j9 and fella(sorry, is it don?)
    i love u all lots and lots like jelly tots
    b good
    love ya helen
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi j9, im the thickest of the thicks, i was totally confused on how on earth i was suppost to e-mail u when u never gave ur e-mail address, than i realised, or rayher opened my eyes and noticed the icon thingies.
    i think my eyes were to flooded!!
    if u dont mind i'll leave it 2 u 2 make the first move, ask q's if u want as i know if i e-mail u i will write and write and write and u'll get pissed off. i dont wanna impose on u, so dont if its to much trouble, but i wouldnt mind if u did.
    thanx a bunch
    love ya helen
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