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confused over next stage
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ive been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and weve decided to split up when i go to uni in september, however we decided this ages ago and recently im confused over whether its actually what i want. and ive not a clue what he wants
most people think were wierd for actually deciding to break up but to both of us it makes alot of sense. it would be amicable (we wouldnt be breaking up because we didnt want to be together) so wed still stay friends,something i really want because we do get on- we just seem to click, i know that for the first few weeks that hes gonna be ringing me just to make sure im ok and settled in, and seeing as im only really gonna be able to get home every two weeks its gonna be hard to fit in all my friends, my family and him in a two day period.
however im starting to wonder if that what i really want and i really cant decide cos part of me thinks should we really throw away something thats soo good?
i dont think thered be trust issues - he hasnt got a jealous bone in his body and i trust him loads (saying something for me) but im not sure if this would chnage when im away, im not sure if our relationsipp has built up enough in the last eight months to be able to survive being apart like that. and i would much rather split up and stay friends, than one of us down the line decide that we dont want to be together and then id never see him again.
really dont know what to do!
and this is really long so thanks to anyone who managed to read (and especially understand it)
most people think were wierd for actually deciding to break up but to both of us it makes alot of sense. it would be amicable (we wouldnt be breaking up because we didnt want to be together) so wed still stay friends,something i really want because we do get on- we just seem to click, i know that for the first few weeks that hes gonna be ringing me just to make sure im ok and settled in, and seeing as im only really gonna be able to get home every two weeks its gonna be hard to fit in all my friends, my family and him in a two day period.
however im starting to wonder if that what i really want and i really cant decide cos part of me thinks should we really throw away something thats soo good?
i dont think thered be trust issues - he hasnt got a jealous bone in his body and i trust him loads (saying something for me) but im not sure if this would chnage when im away, im not sure if our relationsipp has built up enough in the last eight months to be able to survive being apart like that. and i would much rather split up and stay friends, than one of us down the line decide that we dont want to be together and then id never see him again.
really dont know what to do!
and this is really long so thanks to anyone who managed to read (and especially understand it) 0
Comments
If i was you i would talk it through again with him, tell him how you feel and maybe ask him if he fancied giving it a go and see if you both can cope with not seeing each other as much as you do now.
Be honest with each other and if it doesn't work whilst you are at uni then say so and remain friends.
Hard decision especially when it is all so good, i know i would want to give it a go.
that seems the next logical thing to do i know, but its hard to talk to him about feelings and stuff. hes the type of person who can make a joke out of anything and hates talking about anything emotional, also i kinda want to get it sorted in my own head before i bring anything up with him
If you talk to him seriously and make him realise that it's important and you need to know how he feels, hopefully he will open up to you.
Talk to him, let him know that you're feeling confused and unsure of the decision you made earlier in the relationship (which is quite a weird decision to make, though I'd understand the reasoning better if it was a summer fling or the like). Your changed feelings prove that you can't predict how feelings - and a relationship - will develop, and it clearly has developed past the point you'd guessed it would by now. Otherwise you wouldn't be feeling this way. It could all go tits up when you go to uni, but you could maintain a successful relationship... you've got to be in it to win it etc
just got all day know to plan it out properly then just blurt it out all wrong tonight and cause an arguement!!;)
I think i would manage to tell him how i felt over something like this without getting it all wrong, but with other things i find it easier to write it all down and be honest, not getting it all wrong, and letting him read it, then afterwards talk about it and resolve the problem, if you think it will al go horribly wrong, you could always do that.