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cultural differences, living arrangements, and a bit of a rant about being isolated
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
because i've got to do another year at university, i've had to stay in student accomodation this summer and for the next acedemic year. but, i've got a bit of a problem in that i've been put with a number of chinese guys (except for one other girl but she's chinese too). aside from the fact that groups of strange men getting drunk in the kitchen late at night does make me feel a bit vulnerable. i don't understand why different cultures cannot mix?! only one of the guys seems to speak english well, so there is a language barrier because i only speak very basic chinese. they invite groups of other chinese people around, talk in chinese, etc - but i can't help but feel they don't really want to get to know me because i'm english and i seem to have been isolated because i'm english (and female). i don't want to sound prejudice or anything - thats not what this is - but i've noticed this a lot around the university before - other cultures always tend to stick together and leave little room for 'outsiders'; but i don;t understand it. i'm feeling on my own a lot anyway because nearly everyone i know has graduated / gone home. i suppose i'm asking has anyone got any ideas on how to 'get accepted'. i was cooking earlier and tried to make some small talk about soy sauce - 'cos all their stuff is written in chinese - and i just got completly blanked, that happens a lot, i mean it could be because of a language barrier, but other times i've said something and they laugh - not sure why... ~ not sure if writing it down, it makes much sense, but if someone could just offer me some advice on how to better cope with this it wba. thanks.
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I got exactly pretty much ignored at uni, prob cos i wasn't into their "we only talk to other chinese people in chinese and don't socialis with anyone else" mentality.
As a sweeping generalisation, the chinese from HK or china are all snobby bastards.
Just because you have used the phrase "sweeping generalisation" doesn't mean that the above comment is acceptable on these boards. It's downright offensive. :grump:
It's how it has always been to me, and how most of friends who are also brit born chinese have found as well. The ones they've all encountered at university anyways.
i should have said: "As a sweeping generalisation, the chinese from HK or china (that i and most of my uk born chinese friends and most of my english friends as well have found at university) are all snobby bastards"
It's amusing when just cos i'm speaking english and with my english mates they think i can't understand what they are saying and then point out that i can.
Chinese people as a whole tend to discriminate a lot against other people, even if they are not vocal or do anything about it. Again this is what i've noticed from people i know and from when i've been back in Hong Kong and China.
I definitely can see where you're coming from when you say that, I noticed alot of it going on!!
Are you just in that accomodation for the summer? I think I can guess where you're probably staying. If you're supposed to be staying there for the academic year too, could you see if you could get moved to one of the other university run accomodation blocks? Think they have one in Hanley somewhere which was mainly used for post-grads and mature students but saying that, that was used as an overspill for first years last year so I don't know what they're doing with it this year. It sounds like you've made an effort to get to know these people but because of the language barrier, you are only going to be able to do so much. Explain your problems to residental services and see what they say as you might be able to get moved when the new term starts. Good luck!!
I kinda understand where you're coming from.. both my parents were born abroad and each speaks about 6 or 7 languages, so whenever we visit relatives abroad they sart speaking in every language under the sun except English half the time .. lol
But there must be pluses too?
Chinese food is probabaly my favourite so I'd be in there like a shot with my begging bowl . :thumb:
Also if you can pick up some chinese language skills then why not - you'll have something great to put on your CV. There's nothing to stop you inviting your own friends around and slowly you'll find they'll pick up the language, I worked with a team of Chinese people and the majority were born here so spoke perfect english, but one guy had litterally gotten off the plane from China and hardly spoke English, 2 years later hss English is perfect
I'd take this to be a great learning opportunity. I reckon if it was more girls then you'd not feel so left out.
but i have seriously tried to make friends.
they do cook all the time
I'm not sure how you can get 'accepted'. Maybe they think that they're being polite by not talking so much to you and give you space. I assume you're master or PhD student to be working over summer, are any of them in same subject area or do you know people in their subjects area? ... Might help to get something in common and stimulate some conversation.
In that case the next site meetup should be at your place ... :thumb:
Exactly, so it's not like you haven't tried. I think acc services would be understanding. They try to place mature students with mature students so that they feel comfortable, so I don't see why they wouldn't understand if you asked to be moved into a block with people you'd feel more comfortable with. >hugs< for feeling lonely and isolated.
I *accidently* kicked a chinese guy in the head last summer as he was crawling out from under the table where he'd been unplugging the 'puters in the 24hr room, after various of us had asked repeatedly on other nights that they not unplug the 'puters and pointing to the DO NOT UNPLUG THE PUTERS signs up on the walls... shame I was in trainers rather than heels that night...
It's a shame you had to ruin such a supportive and constructive post with such negativity - how does that relate to what Otter is going through in any way at all?! Ok, so you met a chinese person who got on your nerves - I think we've all probably met people from any race, nationality, background who has caused us annoyance at one time or another - what's your point?