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complements

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Everytime I see my GF, sooner or later I end up telling her how amazing she looks or how I enjoy spendng time with her etc. If I had it my way, I'd keep telling her this, but I make a real effort to only say it once.


What I wanted to get was people's opinions on whether its a good idea to genually complement someone atleast once. I'm worried about coming across as 'too nice'.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do. If me and my bf are off out and he's got a new top/shirt/jeans etc and he looks nice i tell him. Also friends. Costs me absolutely nothing and makes my friends feel good :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's quite cool how a complement can really change someone mood, they start smiling and being really playful :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Compliments are nice when they are mean't and not overdone.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everytime I see my GF, sooner or later I end up telling her how amazing she looks or how I enjoy spendng time with her etc. If I had it my way, I'd keep telling her this, but I make a real effort to only say it once.


    What I wanted to get was people's opinions on whether its a good idea to genually complement someone atleast once. I'm worried about coming across as 'too nice'.

    Hmmm... Sometimes it can raise a woman's self-worth to heights were you could compare it to 'arrogance', so I don't try to make a fool of myself and look like a drooling idiot if she changes, or whistle, or make constant compliments (talking about not girlfriend here).

    A short compliment is a sign of appreciation tho. I am not a big compliment man, and I realize girls are pleased when I tell them, "hey you look really fine tonight." and go back to other topics and don't stare at them constantly.

    Let's just say, I make a compliment when one is due and I realize it is always genuinely welcomed (and at times reciprocated).

    /e: Actually I am not a real compliment-getter myself, but I realized subtle appreciations myself from girl I complimented in the past, so with meters and bonds, it's a nice thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my boyfriend compliments me lots and i love it :D

    last time i saw him he said 'you looked really pretty tonight. there was one point when you was smiling at something and i just thought "wow"..' :heart:
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    RubberSkin wrote:
    I do. If me and my bf are off out and he's got a new top/shirt/jeans etc and he looks nice i tell him. Also friends. Costs me absolutely nothing and makes my friends feel good :D

    :yes: I agree - compliments are fab :heart:
    However there are ways to improve the way you give them...

    My favourite kinds of compliments are those which highlight a personal trait rather than just looks or clothes. Lipsy's boyfriend's compliment was perfect actually, because he complimented her looks, but also highlighted her lovely smile which is a strong personal trait - complimenting things like kindness, good sense of humour, confidence etc can also make someone feel amazing. It also pays to be specific - back to the Lipsy's smile ;) as otherwise as I think someone said, it can sound insincere.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Compliments are great and they make me melt inside hehe.

    Although I suck at giving compliments (or at least I think I do), especially to my bf. But I do try, I just think I sound ridiculous or something.

    But yes, you can make people feel good by saying nice things (provided they are genuine).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What bugs me is people who can't take compliments!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    like people have said compliments feel better when they are on the little things. Not just like 'that's a nice top', but something someone would have to look closely to notice.

    They're a great confidence booster though and always put a smile on my face :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    migpilot wrote:
    What bugs me is people who can't take compliments!

    I think they find it embarrassing sometimes, or are not good when the attention's on them. I hate it when people give compliments and you know for a fact they don't mean them, I'm crap at taking them then.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    migpilot wrote:
    What bugs me is people who can't take compliments!

    I'm like that sometimes.

    It's not that I can't take them, it's just if somebody says I'm oh such a special guy or whatever else I tend to shrug and be like whatever, but if somebody says I'm a twat or something then it'd probably go to my head and it'd affect me for a bit.

    Somewhere in between is best, like just don't let what people say go to your head.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everytime I see my GF, sooner or later I end up telling her how amazing she looks or how I enjoy spendng time with her etc. If I had it my way, I'd keep telling her this, but I make a real effort to only say it once.


    What I wanted to get was people's opinions on whether its a good idea to genually complement someone atleast once. I'm worried about coming across as 'too nice'.

    keep the complements coming - thats what i say :razz:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think they find it embarrassing sometimes, or are not good when the attention's on them. I hate it when people give compliments and you know for a fact they don't mean them, I'm crap at taking them then.

    I don't think they find it embarrassing.
    I think that deep down because of low self esteem, they don't believe the compliment and therefore dismiss it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    I'm like that sometimes.

    It's not that I can't take them, it's just if somebody says I'm oh such a special guy or whatever else I tend to shrug and be like whatever, but if somebody says I'm a twat or something then it'd probably go to my head and it'd affect me for a bit.

    Somewhere in between is best, like just don't let what people say go to your head.
    just smile and say thanks.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    don't be worried about being nice, its the oldest lie in the book that women only fancy bastards. If you are interesting you will be fancied, so long as there's more to you than compliments you'll be fine.

    Be nice, compliment her as much as you want, the more the better. If you're being genuine people can tell, and as she's your lass its not like you're trying to talk your way into her knickers anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Compliments are ok, but i'd get seriously annoyed if i got them all the time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who doesn't love being complimented? I do :lol: :yes:
    But yeah, like others have said, if they're too often they'll seem insincere and contrived. But when you're desperate to tell her she looks damn fine, then do it!! Just don't tell her every 5 minutes! :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate getting compliments - well actually that's not true; being complimented is kind of nice, but it makes me feel sooo uncomfortable.
    I get it a lot and if it's from friends, it's fine - but random men or whatever that say I'm funny or pretty, or have "amazing blue eyes" (:rolleyes: ) just make me go red and try to change the subject. I know I should learn to take compliments, but I see myself as weird-looking so if someone says I'm pretty, I assume they're lying. Lol.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Worrying about being "too nice"? Oh, don't be stupid. There are far bigger things that you can worry about than that. Compliment people by all means, as long as what you're saying is genuine.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to be godawful at taking compliments; but I've learned to take 'em when I can get 'em these days :thumb:. My boyfriend is pretty good this way as he knows I still feel a little awkward when he says such direct things, he's more into saying really affirming things like he loves all my imperfections etc and making me feel REALLY good about myself rather than saying "ooh you've got lovely hair" which would probably leave me pretty cold after he'd said it once unless it really did look shit hot. Last night he did say I looked like an angel in my nighty (which I think makes me look more like a crazed phantom) which scored him many points and for which he was richly rewarded.

    I pay him loads of compliments, too, even if it's a repeat of something I've said to him before. I love to see his little face light up, it's adorable :heart:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alasia wrote:
    I hate getting compliments - well actually that's not true; being complimented is kind of nice, but it makes me feel sooo uncomfortable.
    I get it a lot and if it's from friends, it's fine - but random men or whatever that say I'm funny or pretty, or have "amazing blue eyes" (:rolleyes: ) just make me go red and try to change the subject. I know I should learn to take compliments, but I see myself as weird-looking so if someone says I'm pretty, I assume they're lying. Lol.

    I feel the same I just dont see how anyone could possibly see it in me. Not that I get compliments that often.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel the same I just dont see how anyone could possibly see it in me. Not that I get compliments that often.

    Exactly! It's stupid, but I never used to get many compliments...it's only in the past year that I've been getting lots of interest, and I'm really not used to it. I just assume anyone who compliments me either has a bet on with his mates or just wants to get me into bed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    its the oldest lie in the book that women only fancy bastards.
    true but a lo of women do,m including me, as much as it's shit to admit.
    The best compliment ever, is when a bastard gives you one....a compliment that is :p
    well not ever but it's a bloody good one!
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    I do like compliments :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    otter wrote:
    keep the complements coming - thats what i say :razz:

    yes please, keep the compliments coming :) but keep them genuine and like others have said, specific is nice - 'that dress looks really nice on you' is better than 'you look nice' but i'm not fussy :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A compliment is not something that is planned and thought out. It's not always gonna come out perfect. That's the beauty of it, isn't it...?
    If it comes out a bit "weird" then make an effort to see the thought behind it. (Like if I thought you were hot and said <Girl, let me put that fire out!>)
    It's easy to dismiss a compliment because one thinks it's not genuine. And like Lipsy said "just smile and say thanks". It's not that hard.
    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Too many complaments arnt a good thing they can make you appear clingy or insecure, with out going in to the "women like bastards" cliche if your complementing all the time and about the same things this isnt good.

    Try and keep them specific not always "you look beautiful" but something more real like how they dressed or handled a situation, also comparing them faverably to other women, is good but be sparing.

    Personally It realy realy sticks in my throat if I have to give a complement I dont mean, and if your going out with someone then there must be things you like about them (unless your desperate) so complement on the things you notice and like not just general complements
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I give my girlfriend compliments, usually because I think she really does look great (usually when she's dressed up I do)

    I generally don't get compliments (probably because i'm rough :D ) but a few years ago a good mate of mine said I was looking really good in what I was wearing. I was really chuffed with this as i had actually spent quite a while trying to find something nice to wear (it was for a friends birhtday).

    Also a few years back I turned up to a freinds party and his wife was the first person I met, she said I looked great, like a model. I was a bit embarresed, but it did make me feel really great about myself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I sometimes find compliments really hard to take and will usually respond by making a joke out of what they have just said or just ignoring it all together.

    :blush:

    Either way though, compliments are always nice and certainly make me smile...even if I dont show it. I really need to work on that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah i always complement my girlfriend at least once a day and to tell her i love her. She normally tells me that i have a nice bum, followed by her trying to bite it while walking up the stairs.
    When we first started seeing each other she found them hard to take as she wasn't used to them. Which i can understand as its very rare that i ever got them.
    I think giving complements is just a friendly and nice thing to do in general.
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