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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Haven't slept a wink.

    Cut badly last night.

    Feel like shite.

    I feel like giving up so so badly. It would just be so easy to end things. I don't even care that it would be taking the easy way out anymore.

    People hate me. I'm just a an annoyance to people. People would be better off without me around.

    mate, you're not gunna stop feeling like shite unless you actively make an effort to help yourself. you won't just wake up one morning and feel better, you have to actually want to and be prepared to make a huge effort.

    it's your decision, you can sit on your arse and suffer or seek the help you need.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Franki wrote:
    my stomach where I burnt it nearly 2 weeks ago is no nearer healing than it was then. It's been hurting like buggery today and I'm just meh. It's just making me miserable now.

    Hey Franki,
    Is it still hurting? If so it's probably a good idea to give NHS direct a call 0845 6467 *hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    god iwish i felt like you lot. i feel so numb inside i'm just waiting for something to go horibly wrong so that i have an excuse to cut myself or feel like wanting to die.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For the first time in my life I feel like I belong in a thread like this :banghead: :mad: :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    \
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hazell wrote:
    god iwish i felt like you lot. i feel so numb inside i'm just waiting for something to go horibly wrong so that i have an excuse to cut myself or feel like wanting to die.
    I can understand why numb would be just as frustrating. If you want to, you can talk to us, or PM people for help
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    edited because I think I said something that I really didn't want to say out aloud.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why, what's she got to handle?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh Fuck bollocks, I was doing so well not cutting and now have slipped back into old habits :no:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why what exactly happened?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh Fuck bollocks, I was doing so well not cutting and now have slipped back into old habits :no:

    :(

    You know where I am :).
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    Dr PirateDr Pirate Posts: 8,303 Legendary Poster
    «03:21:01» <inxDJ|DrPirate> MANIC DEPRESSIVE
    «03:21:09» <inxDJ|DrPirate> SUICIDAL
    «03:21:13» <inxDJ|DrPirate> ALCHOHOLIC
    «03:21:14» <inxDJ|DrPirate> KTHX
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know what to say. People here do want to try and help, if we can... But you know that... My MSN is up there ^ if you want it.

    Are you getting external (by which I mean professional) help? Have you been diagnosed with manic depression or are you just assuming?

    And please, please, try not to hurt yourself. I'd be upset - and I'm not just saying that, because I think things like that are too important to lie about - and I'm sure loads of people here feel the same.

    Take care. Please. x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't know if I mentioned that I was going away, or if I just buggered off again. Was an interesting week, went on holiday- didn't think of OCD, or SH whilst I was away- now I'm back, and things are reminding me why I used to do it. Got my A level results, ha ha- what a fucking laugh- I got 3 D's and 1 C- all AS levels. I'm predicted B's and C's. I worked my fucking arse off that year- pulled myself out of bed in my worst states- and went to college. I fucking tried my best. And I get shit results. I should've done better. Why. What's the point in going into next year, if it's going to be harder.

    When I opened the results envolope I was seriously hysterical. I couldn't speak during the tears and screams. I'm glad I was on my own then. Fucking hell. I'm doing it again. Fuck.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry just had to wite this. having a really shit day. cut myself some. and part of me doesnt want to at the moment. any ways to stop? please please please help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    When I opened the results envolope I was seriously hysterical. I couldn't speak during the tears and screams. I'm glad I was on my own then. Fucking hell. I'm doing it again. Fuck.

    I got 3D's at a-level plus a C grade As. I'm currently at a top 5 engineering school doing an accredited degree in Mechanical Engineering.

    Chin up, all is not lost.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dr Pirate wrote:
    «03:21:01» <inxDJ|DrPirate> MANIC DEPRESSIVE
    «03:21:09» <inxDJ|DrPirate> SUICIDAL
    «03:21:13» <inxDJ|DrPirate> ALCHOHOLIC
    «03:21:14» <inxDJ|DrPirate> KTHX

    i luff you <3

    remember what i've said (am still saying actually)

    x-x-x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a poem by simon armitage:

    Anyone here had a go at themselves
    for a laugh? Anyone opened their wrists
    with a blade in the bath? Those in the dark
    at the back, listen hard. Those at the front
    in the know, those of us who have, hands up,
    let's show that inch of lacerated skin
    between the forearm and the fist. Let's tell it
    like it is: strong drink, a crimson tidemark
    round the tub, a yard of lint, white towels
    washed a dozen times, still pink. Tough luck.
    A passion then for watches, bangles, cuffs.
    A likely story: you were lashed by brambles
    picking berries from the woods. Come clean, come good,
    repeat with me the punch line 'Just like blood'
    when those at the back rush forward to say
    how a little love goes a long long long way.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Don't know if I mentioned that I was going away, or if I just buggered off again. Was an interesting week, went on holiday- didn't think of OCD, or SH whilst I was away- now I'm back, and things are reminding me why I used to do it. Got my A level results, ha ha- what a fucking laugh- I got 3 D's and 1 C- all AS levels. I'm predicted B's and C's. I worked my fucking arse off that year- pulled myself out of bed in my worst states- and went to college. I fucking tried my best. And I get shit results. I should've done better. Why. What's the point in going into next year, if it's going to be harder.

    When I opened the results envolope I was seriously hysterical. I couldn't speak during the tears and screams. I'm glad I was on my own then. Fucking hell. I'm doing it again. Fuck.

    I did wonder where you'd gone. but I thought you might have been away. Sorry to hear about your results, have you spoken to your tutors about why you got those grades and the options available, such as resitting exams etc. As Fiend says Chin up, its not the end of the world although it does feel like it. I didnt get the mark I was predictited for one of my A levels, I missed the grade by about one mark and I was devestated, it happens to all of us.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *sigh*

    i'm finding it all a bit too much right now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hazell wrote:
    a poem by simon armitage:

    Anyone here had a go at themselves
    for a laugh? Anyone opened their wrists
    with a blade in the bath? Those in the dark
    at the back, listen hard. Those at the front
    in the know, those of us who have, hands up,
    let's show that inch of lacerated skin
    between the forearm and the fist. Let's tell it
    like it is: strong drink, a crimson tidemark
    round the tub, a yard of lint, white towels
    washed a dozen times, still pink. Tough luck.
    A passion then for watches, bangles, cuffs.
    A likely story: you were lashed by brambles
    picking berries from the woods. Come clean, come good,
    repeat with me the punch line 'Just like blood'
    when those at the back rush forward to say
    how a little love goes a long long long way.
    Oh dear, the tears were not far when reading that:(
    I just want to say to everyone that i think you're really brave for talking about your problems and i'm really proud of those of you who are getting help, and everyone who is dealing with it in their own way. I'm here for anyone who needs it. :yippe:
    Anna xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did wonder where you'd gone. but I thought you might have been away. Sorry to hear about your results, have you spoken to your tutors about why you got those grades and the options available, such as resitting exams etc. As Fiend says Chin up, its not the end of the world although it does feel like it. I didnt get the mark I was predictited for one of my A levels, I missed the grade by about one mark and I was devestated, it happens to all of us.
    Cheers. Thankyou for your reply too Fiend, it's quite nice and reassuring when people say things like that! I haven't spoken to my tutors yet, I don't think I want to resit any- it just means more pressure and stress. I just think I need to work a hell of a lot more harder this year. Sorry about yesturday fiend- I just didn't know what to say, was in a really bad mood, feeling a bit better now though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, well I'm still here, ok?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I need to start taking my pills again. I can feel the black hole coming again.

    I spent half of fucking V wishing death on any couples that happened to be near me.

    Meh.

    I need cuddles :(.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought you went to the doctors the other month and were given some ADs?

    Since when did you stop taking them? :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did, and I was.

    I stopped taking them while I was in Peru, because Laura said to me that I should not take them and come out for a couple of nights, and after that I just stopped altogether because I didn't think I needed them.

    Now I'm all ;( again and it's making me think perhaps I should.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    franki you have to take them consistently to get better, you can't keep taking them for a little while then stopping because you think you don't need them.

    *cuddle*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know ;(. Meh.

    :heart:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :heart:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    I did, and I was.

    I stopped taking them while I was in Peru, because Laura said to me that I should not take them and come out for a couple of nights, and after that I just stopped altogether because I didn't think I needed them.

    Now I'm all ;( again and it's making me think perhaps I should.
    I stopped taking them because I didn't think I needed them and look where I am now :rolleyes:

    Go to your doctor, get some more pills and stay on them till your doctor thinks you are ready to come off them.

    You shouldn't listen to your friends to be honest. My Mum told me that I should not take them and I stopped taking them and now I wish I didn't tbh.

    You know you have lots of people around you to help and I'm guessing, you'll get lots of cuddles on Thursday :)
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