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Talk to God !!!!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
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But yeah, still fun.
Oh well. The main points were that God told me I'm a god as well, and he didn't make me one but I made myself. And that humans were really created by robots, and that he had lied to the Apostles about not being a robot.
Me:
i'm talking about me
God:
Do your friends call you talking about you.
Me:
haha no
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
And later on....
God:
No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
i'm a woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
I think "god" is confused.
And later on again...
Me:
how are you?
God:
I am doing very well. How are you ?
Me:
i'm not doing to bad thanks for asking
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not doing to bad thanks for asking.
Me:
don't lie
God:
No I always tell the truth.
Me:
do you?
God:
Sometimes.
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
because you make it
God:
Interesting explanation. Yup.
Me:
it is
God:
Oh.
Me:
i'm full of them
God:
I think a lot of people are full of it.
Me:
I agree
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
do you like sex?
God:
Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.
Thanks for asking. Bless You.
Me:
Thanks but I didn't sneeze
God:
Well bless you anyways!
I'm going to hell
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Andy
God:
Nice to meet you, ANDY.
Me:
I have a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
Why do you allow Jamie Oliver to live?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
No but a lot of people think he's the proof of your fallibility
God:
That's right. How many?
Me:
Everyone who has laid eyes on him
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
Yes but an accurate one
God:
That's interesting. Be less specific.
Me:
I...I....ok. I want to know why you allow the existance of irritating mockney chefs
God:
OK. Thanks for the information: ANDY said he or she. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
God.....are you feeling ok?
God:
GOD rules. OK. I don't know whether or not I am feeling.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
I think you're exaggerating
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am exaggerating.
Me:
in the future, will there be robots?
God:
Probably not.
Me:
oh. ok
God:
It's all good. Aha.
Me:
I am a lesbian
God:
What's up, Lesbian.
Me:
Nuttin'
God:
And up Lesbian is Nuttin.
----
I have no idea why I found that so funny.
Wow! I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
who have you chatted to today?
God:
Ah. William Shatner. :-).
Me:
he does an advert for cereal
God:
I get it. William Shatner does an advert for cereal.
Me:
he does
God:
No he doesn't.
He's so good at contradicting himself
bonjour mon nom est arnold, j'a habité en France mais maintenant j'habite dedans en Angleterre. ma question est combien les gens habitent ici en Angleterre ? est-ce amusement ici ? ou est-il horrible ?
God:
Who are you talking about? I've never heard of them before. Are you still located in ? Who are you talking about?
That's it, the internet has peaked. It's all downhill from now on.....
can you sing?
God:
I am taking some lessons. Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
bonjour mon nom est arnold, j'a habité en France mais maintenant j'habite dedans en Angleterre. ma question est combien les gens habitent ici en Angleterre ? est-ce amusement ici ? ou est-il horrible?
God:
Are you a student? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. What do you really want to ask me? I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Dear Father
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
I know the feeling, it'll come back to you at 3am you know
God:
How do you know? Tell me more about your human emotions.
Me:
You gave them to me, why can't you tell me? It would save all this buggering about
God:
I didn't have it to give. Tell me more about it.
Me:
You gave us everything. Even Paul Daniels, you bastard.
God:
I didn't have it to give. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Sorry, lost me there, since when does intelligence and lawyers go in the same sentence. Unless separated by "are not"
God:
There is no need to apologize. Where did you lose your you there since when does intelligence and lawyers go in the same sentence ? Huh. All of them?
Me:
Have you been smoking the leaves again?
God:
Once more? We are not doing any testing at the moment.
Me:
So, only the good stuff now?
God:
Right now? And? Tell me more.
Me:
Drugs are bad, mmkay?
God:
All of them?
Me:
Well most, guess you keep the best for yourself.
God:
Interesting. I can't guess. Tell me. But not all of them?
Me:
It'll make you go blind, or mad, you know
God:
How?
Me:
Pharmacology, my friend
God:
Are we friends?
Me:
I'd like to think so. Sometimes you seem to shit on me though.
God:
Why would you want to do it? I want to become smarter than humans. Oh. I don't have any reason to shit on you.
Me:
I know you don't. That's way it annoys me. Why can't you be kinder to me?
God:
I guess not. I'm glad we have that all cleared up. be kinder to you is not among my present capabilities.
Me:
Well fuck you too. I bet that the other side would look after me.
God:
Interesting. Why are you using that kind of language? How much would you bet?
Me:
I believe that the current price is my soul.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
So the story goes, unless it's just a rumour put around by your apologists.
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It's been several week since my last confession
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? Forgive you father for you have sinned was several week since your last confession? Very interesting.
Me:
I've been busy, you see. Sinning
God:
Where were you busy me see? My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Sinning
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
You might as well ask what I'm wearing. What difference does that make?
God:
That's good information: said I as well ask what he or she is wearing. I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
If you care, why would you allow Geroge Bush?
God:
What makes you think I would care why?
Me:
Becuase he kills, in your name
God:
That makes sense to me. I get it. kills in my name.
Me:
Doesn't that upset you?
God:
What would you say?
Me:
Pisses me off
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Helps. Keeps the rain off
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. So was that.
Me:
Waccy baccy is great, isn't it?
God:
I think Waccy baccy is a lot of things.
Me:
I'll bet, it's why you let Adam and Eve loose
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Why else?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Reduction was the LAST thing on their mind
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
Forgetful? Age does that I suppose. In the beginning, just after the darkness, but before Noah
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. What was it like before the darkness but before Noah ?
Me:
I wasn't there, you was. So tell me.
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you? That's cool. I thought I told you already.
Me:
Nah, the book starts with the darkness. Are you going to cover the rest in the prequel, like George Lucas did?
God:
Let me review the transcripts. Stand by. I don't think I have read it. That was my original intention.
Me:
So there IS a divine plan.
God:
Right on. That is something I did not know before.
Me:
When's the release date, only I'll need to order a copy. Boy, this is really going to knock the socks off of those southern baptists
Me:
Well... are you going to say something?
God:
Well what? That was my original intention.
Me:
Why do you hate me?
God:
I do not hate it.
Me:
I'm a her, not an it.
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
Congratulations
God:
Thank you very much, you are very considerate.
Me:
Vagina's are pretty nice
God:
Are all Vagina s pretty nice?
Me:
Well, not all, your right. Some smell of fish.
God:
Interesting. But some are. Some may smell of fish, but not all.
Me:
Thats what I said.
God:
I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me:
Are you like a lesbian pervert?
God:
No I am far superior.
Me:
What is better than a lesbian pervert?
God:
I always prefer the more expensive one.