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Being left behind

Not sure if this should be in relationships but hey ho.

Does anyone else feel like they've been left behind in life? Maybe it's just me. Everyone seems to have done more than me, and is getting on better than me and i just can't seem to go forward in anything.

Probably my own fault.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    Not sure if this should be in relationships but hey ho.

    Does anyone else feel like they've been left behind in life? Maybe it's just me. Everyone seems to have done more than me, and is getting on better than me and i just can't seem to go forward in anything.

    Probably my own fault.

    Yes, I am a lazy bum and fear to end up standing there with nothing one day.
    I am not really sure what to do with my life, I guess I keep on studying...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I understand what you mean, Lacymay.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah i do, i really regret not sorting my education out mainly.
    Feel like i am just kinda bummng along in life rather than living it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you mean with regard to relationships? Or jobs? Education? All of the above? Something else?

    I think a lot of people feel like this though, especially when they get to an age where the extra effort people put in starts to bear fruit and you kind of think that maybe if you'd stuck in at this or that you'd be here or there rather than standing where you are. But you're still a young'un (how patronising am I :p ) and you'll be a long time dead so I wouldn't write yourself off just yet. Is there anything you want to do that you think could get you a bit closer to what you see as the place you "should be" at at this point? Or are you just feeling a bit lost?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi wrote:
    Do you mean with regard to relationships? Or jobs? Education? All of the above? Something else?

    I think a lot of people feel like this though, especially when they get to an age where the extra effort people put in starts to bear fruit and you kind of think that maybe if you'd stuck in at this or that you'd be here or there rather than standing where you are. But you're still a young'un (how patronising am I :p ) and you'll be a long time dead so I wouldn't write yourself off just yet. Is there anything you want to do that you think could get you a bit closer to what you see as the place you "should be" at at this point? Or are you just feeling a bit lost?

    I mean in regards to everything.

    I guess it's because like you say, people my age that stuck with the education thing are nearly finishing uni, and people that worked have (well most of them) worked their way up to a half decent job. I just seem to go backwards all the time.

    And yes i am feeling lost. As always. Don't feel that i've grown up at all and it's fuckin me off :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is there anything you want - or feel you could do - to change things? Or do you just feel some random need for a change and the proverbial boot up the arse to move you forward? In the nicest possible way, you understand... no stilettoes unless you like that kind of thing :p

    It's a piece of piss to say "don't compare yourself to your peers" because we all do it, as does most of the world, unfortunately. But try not to look at yourself solely in that light because you're only going to get down on yourself (even more?). You must have done something you're proud of or that you feel is an achievement, and even if you can't think of anything I can tell you that you've grown yourself one hell of a spine girl. I salute you ;) :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think your too young to be worrying about it...

    I know that if at my age my carrer ment everything to me I would want to shoot myself!
    I have a good job with very good prospects, but im not pushing myself in it... I could be doing alot better than I am at the moment... but I dont want to, im having too much fun in life at the moment without worrying about that. Im not ready to tie myself down with things like that.

    Just enjoy life and things will happen to make you think you are going somewhere as and when they do!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    these people who have these things don't always get given them, they have to work for them. if you want something, go out and get it. don't just envy the people who have more than you. i know it's not always that simple but you know what i mean?
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    LacyMay wrote:
    Not sure if this should be in relationships but hey ho.

    Does anyone else feel like they've been left behind in life? Maybe it's just me. Everyone seems to have done more than me, and is getting on better than me and i just can't seem to go forward in anything.

    Probably my own fault.
    YOU feel like that??? :eek:

    Well, I do too. :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel the same way, but it is mostly never getting anywhere with a career, as i dont know what i want to do, i dont even know what to look for. For that reason i always feel like all my friends have left me behind...even the unemployed ones because at least they know what they want to do, they just cant get it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    these people who have these things don't always get given them, they have to work for them. if you want something, go out and get it. don't just envy the people who have more than you. i know it's not always that simple but you know what i mean?

    :yes:

    This year is the first year in ages I've not thought to myself "Ah shit, I was so much happier this time last year", and that's purely because I've taken matters into my own hands and pushed myself.

    Everybody gets stuck in a rut though, I suppose it's just a matter of working things out in your own head as to where you want to be, and get motivated enough to make them happen.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    these people who have these things don't always get given them, they have to work for them. if you want something, go out and get it. don't just envy the people who have more than you. i know it's not always that simple but you know what i mean?

    don't think she was saying anything otherwise. And it's NEVER that simple :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it can be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I understand what you mean i feel the same. Regarding everything. You see people around to progressing in life in all aspects of their life but you seem to be moving nowhere fast regardless of how much effort you put in even when you feel you are doing as much as you possibly can do help things along.

    I'm currently thinking about this a lot again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes it's easiest to strike when the iron is hot.

    When I was in a shit job, had a shitty situation with my then g/f going on and was literally drinking myself to oblivion in my flat every other night, I thought fuck it, why am I doing shit like this to myself?

    So I went and really looked for a job someplace else, done. Got a new flat, done. Wasn't the greatest flat, but got another one, done. Met a whole load of people in a city where I knew fucking nobody, done. Sorted the shit out with my ex, done. Made four or five fanatastic mates there, done. Got a better job, done.

    Seriously, if I can do shit like that in six months then there's hope for anybody. I can see how it's hard when you just feel stuck in a rut that you maybe just think it'll get better soon, but if you really go for it, then things can really happen.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel the same. I have no motivation unless it's soending money and partying. Only I can change it. I wish my family were rich!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've felt like that until recently. At the moment, I think I'm moving forwards, but for the last year or so, it hasn't seemed that way at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    Not sure if this should be in relationships but hey ho.

    Does anyone else feel like they've been left behind in life? Maybe it's just me. Everyone seems to have done more than me, and is getting on better than me and i just can't seem to go forward in anything.

    Probably my own fault.

    I felt like this when everyone went off to uni and I know it sounds so cliche and sappy but people succeed in their own independant way.
  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Same.

    Just dont have any motivation to do fuck all.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hi LacyMay,
    I'm pretty sure it was Bluewisdom (aka Catalina) who coined the phrase mid-twenties crisis. Her rant is a good read. The thing is, so often these days older people bang on about the opportunities that are available for us young-uns that they wish they'd had, and in a way, they've got a point. But at the same time, the pressure to meet other peoples expectations of success can be daunting and there's so much out there it can difficult to know where to start.

    Thinking about what you're really interested in and trying a few things out is worth a go. You might find this article on doing it for real helpful. Building confidence and courage is something we all strive to do no matter what stage we are in our lives - being conscious of our strengths and weaknesses, can help us put things into perspective.

    Take care - and hope you start to feel better soon.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Arrghgh this is soo true I think all my friends went through it as well (the mid 20's crisis thing). Basically when things don't seem to be going to plan at all after you've left university etc. Especially if you don't get your dream job and you see people who didn't bother going to universtiy earning way more than you just because they are super confident.

    However I think that you just have to get a bit depressed just to jolt yourself into doing something.

    I am loads happier now though and I think that most of my friends are now so there is light at the end of the tunnel ish.

    having said that i feel totally left behind at work as the girl who is doing the same job as me got it practically straight out of university and i have loads more qualifications and experience but I earn less because i joined the organisation afterwards. Plus nearly everyone else is a manager or above except me and there really isnt' any way to progress.....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for the advice peoples.

    I'm not sure if i'm not trying hard enough or what. In my head i am, but in reality theres probably a lot more i can do to help myself, but i have like zero motivation at the best of times. I want to go out and do things but i can't seem to make it happen.

    Plus my bf decided he doesn't wanna be with me anymore so that isn't exactly helping how i feel at the moment!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Imagine never accomplishing anything significant, no matter how much effort and deliberation has been put forth. Meanwhile, everyone else is getting seconds.
    This is Hell's domain, it's not reality.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, you're not alone...i feel like this a lot....mostly because everyone else that i know has ether got a job, got a car, moved out of their parents' place, found someone worth spending the rest of their life with, or all of the above. Me? I'm unemployed, can't find a job, don't even want a relationship at the moment, and obviously need a job to get out of the parents' place.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    Not sure if this should be in relationships but hey ho.

    Does anyone else feel like they've been left behind in life? Maybe it's just me. Everyone seems to have done more than me, and is getting on better than me and i just can't seem to go forward in anything.

    Probably my own fault.

    guess everyone feels like that from time to time.
    trick is just to pick yourself up and get on with your life and stop comparing yourself to other people. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, that thought strucks me all the time. It's a bit depressing and accepting it unfortunately won't help anyone's current situation. I feel like i've done shit in my life. Just worked. Woken up, gone to school, study all day and find yourself in bed--that's my life story, with minor exclusions.

    But I am a bit melodramatic, and I do have very sympathetic and helpful people around me, who enjoy spending time with me (I hope :p). You just need to act when you realise you're in this situation.
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