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My scars are part of me, part of who I am and where I've been, and I wear them knowing that I'm stronger and better because of them. Because of that I don't really care when other people notice them.
But even when there was no doubt as to where they came from or what I did to get them, it was still just something that I ignored.
Decided I'm not keeping count of how long I've gone without cutting now either. Just seems pointless to me. It must be about 3 or 4 weeks, but I honestly can't remember.
I used to be *really* self conscious about my scars. They are on my thighs and I used to make a big deal about them. However, I soon learned to realise that I shouldn't. They are part of who I am, they make me up. And if people react to them then that is their problem, not mine.
However, being like that is easier said than done. However, with time, when you stop hurting and being so self conscious, you will realise this too. I promise
However, it won't happen overnight. It takes time. But you are getting better so it will come.
Especially when they're posts from months ago?
Fuckity, fuck fuck.
if been through what has averagely been a bad month and a bit, and in the past week, had all sorts of stuff brought up about me, pretty much every piece of shittyness thats happened to me in the past 2 years, its been brought up
most of it id never dealt with, put to the back of my mind, hadnt even thought about for months, some things id just simply forgotten about, things id even dealt with
but when you get a big blow all at once, where the pain just doesnt seem to stop, if its out of the blue, something that you suddenly remembered happened in the past, or even just reading through old posts, it hits hard
Then the worst thing being, not that it went wrong, but that you expected it to go wrong, and it wasnt so much anything you would have normally done, but simply the worry and the pain and nervousness of having something go right for you, and you being scared it would fail, and that worry itself being the thing that causes you grief, and all the happy things to go away?
Or is it just me being simple
Things aren't good. I very nearly refused to leave the house last night because I couldn't stand to be seen in public, I keep fighting with my housemates and most of the time it's not their fault, and I keep breaking down. I don't know what to do.
personally, no. but being triggered is a personal thing and i can see how someone might be.
It's not silly to be triggered by other people talking about it either.
Again.
I thought I was passed feeling like this.
I feel as though everyone hates me.
I really would be better off dead.
Nobody wants me here. I'm just a waste of space.
That will be all.
Why can people control my emotions like this? Its half fucking two in the morning. I can't sleep so have got up.
I'm sat here shaking and crying.
I fucking want to scream and shout at the top of a roof top how I'm feeling but I can't. I fucking hate them so fucking much. They've made me feel like shit.
I'm just a joke to fucking everyone, just a joke.
I'm pissed off, I have a real need to talk to people that aren't available to talk to, and my stomach where I burnt it nearly 2 weeks ago is no nearer healing than it was then. It's been hurting like buggery today and I'm just meh. It's just making me miserable now.
Cut badly last night.
Feel like shite.
I feel like giving up so so badly. It would just be so easy to end things. I don't even care that it would be taking the easy way out anymore.
People hate me. I'm just a an annoyance to people. People would be better off without me around.
who hates you? why are you an annoyance?
even if you do annoy people they're certainly not worth you self harming for.