Views on Long distance relationship

Former Member · August 2006

I expect this has been done before but not that i've seen recently, so if it has then I'm reviving it, if not then wahey new topic,

Thought it would be interesting to see views on long distance relationships, who's in one? if not would you ever? if you are, how do you get over the distance? what do you do when you meet up?

I personally am In a long distance relationship have been 7months next tuesday.
I have MSN and phone so I'm hardly ever out of contact, but still the longing to be in her arms is still hard to deal with.

Former Member · August 2006

i'm in one, been in for 7 and a bit months now. Its so hard, because in a way sometimes it can sort of feel like you're not in a full relationship. But as long as you have contact and both put the effort in its fine. Also seeing each other when you can. Depends how far. I'm going to stay with my boyfriend for a week on saturday! Haven't seen him for about 6 weeks :hyper:

Former Member · August 2006

good for you, I'm seeing mine in 12 days she's coming down to stay for 4 days, can't wait

Former Member · August 2006

i'm in one, it is definitely the hardest type of relationship there is. there's alot more trust involved. i met my gf online over 2 1/2 years ago and didn't meet her in person until a little over a year ago. since then we've spent about 2 months in person together. in fact i'm going to her house for a month in about 10 days. we used to talk online every day for hours and hours, sometimes up to 8+ hours a day. but now that she's got a job and works over time and i had a job for a couple of months we hardly get to talk, maybe 2 times a week at most for a couple hours. but i'm planning on moving in with her after christmas and then getting my own place a couple of months after that. so hopefully eventually we'll have our own place. as for what we do when we're together. we just spend all the time we can with each other. going out, playing video games and card games, just whatever we can to bond some more.

littlemissy · August 2006

This has been done a gazillion times so if you do a search you will find a million topics on it. I reckon everyone who has ever been on the boards will have answered your question in at least one of the threads.

LDRs can work if both parties are fully committed. I did it for a while, over a considerable distance. Yes, it's hard but we were both committed.

Former Member · August 2006

I've done it and it worked out for a while, but I don't think at this point in my life I would be capable of - or particularly willing - to do it again. What can I say, I'm a sucker for seeing my man's face every morning and all that cheesy shit

As littlemissy said, if the commitment is there and you have enough love and trust between you it can work - with effort. I think it'd be easier to sustain if you were together and then had to move due to circumstances or whatever (which was my situation) rather than meeting while you were already settled far apart, but since I've only been in the former situation I can't really say for sure..

Former Member · August 2006

I used to think I could do it, but I really couldn't.

Former Member · August 2006

I don't think i could do it as i'm a really touchy feely person, i need my affection and love whereas a long distance relationship wouldn't give me that often enough.

If i really did like the guy enough and he was serious about it i don't think i would out rule the possibility of giving it a go, but i'm not sure it would last too long.

Former Member · August 2006

I'm in one now...I wasn't but it sort of became one.

I don't find it hard, actually I kind of like it. We still see each other at least every weekend.

Its good for me...stops me freaking out about commitment issues and what have you and it means I look forward to seeing her more.

Anticipation is a fucking amazing aphrodisiac!

Former Member · August 2006

squeal16 wrote:

I don't think i could do it as i'm a really touchy feely person, i need my affection and love whereas a long distance relationship wouldn't give me that often enough.

If i really did like the guy enough and he was serious about it i don't think i would out rule the possibility of giving it a go, but i'm not sure it would last too long.

:yes: Same. But It really depends on how long the distance is.

Former Member · August 2006

im kinda in one at the moment, for 3 months. its not major long distance tho, its only a couple of hours drive away and see each other every week.

i aint finding it that hard, dont get me wrong, i miss her during the week etc.. but it just means the time you get together is extra special.

its certainly worth the travel and the wait.

Former Member · August 2006

Jon_UK wrote:

Anticipation is a fucking amazing aphrodisiac!

I'll second that lol

Former Member · August 2006

I was in one till Monday night, had been going on as a long distance relationship since around January i guess we made it official. We saw each other sometimes, talked every day with out feel, then she went to a party monday night, got off with a load of lads, asked out another lad she is friends with, called me to start a huge argument and tell me all that, tell me she felt tied down to me and and it wasnt going to work with us, even though she loved me. Then Tuesday afternoon told me she wasnt in love at all, she "doesnt do difficult" and there fore doesnt care at all now its over and we shall probably never see one another again as she will make no effort to see me or want me to make any effort to see her anymore.

Basically, Long distance relationships break hearts and leave you miserable!!! In My Opinion!!!

Bunnie · August 2006

I'm in a long distance relationship and its not as hard as i thought it would be. there are times when i absolutely detest the fact he is miles away, but i dont think we would have the relationship we do if we saw each other every day.
i love him to bits, and would feel the same if he lived next door or in australia!

littlemissy · August 2006

subject13 wrote:

Basically, Long distance relationships break hearts and leave you miserable!!! In My Opinion!!!

They can do, just like a relationship with someone in the same city as you. LDRs can work. Mine was a commute between Sheffield and Edinburgh and now we are married and live together. A friend did it between Edinburgh and Belfast and are now living together in Oz. David knows of a couple who did it transatlantic and they now live together in England. They *can* work. Just like any relationship.

Former Member · August 2006

littlemissy wrote:

They can do, just like a relationship with someone in the same city as you. LDRs can work. Mine was a commute between Sheffield and Edinburgh and now we are married and live together. A friend did it between Edinburgh and Belfast and are now living together in Oz. David knows of a couple who did it transatlantic and they now live together in England. They *can* work. Just like any relationship.

That's really inspiring, it seems that, from reading this, long distance relationships generally last for a long time, whether that's because you don't see them all time and therefore don't get sick of them as easy, or you don't have the time to argue I don't know.

Former Member · August 2006

subject13 wrote:

I was in one till Monday night, had been going on as a long distance relationship since around January i guess we made it official. We saw each other sometimes, talked every day with out feel, then she went to a party monday night, got off with a load of lads, asked out another lad she is friends with, called me to start a huge argument and tell me all that, tell me she felt tied down to me and and it wasnt going to work with us, even though she loved me. Then Tuesday afternoon told me she wasnt in love at all, she "doesnt do difficult" and there fore doesnt care at all now its over and we shall probably never see one another again as she will make no effort to see me or want me to make any effort to see her anymore.

Basically, Long distance relationships break hearts and leave you miserable!!! In My Opinion!!!

Gee... she sounds quite a catch... and it also sounds like you are far better off without her! Try not to get down even though it's hard... get out and do stuff to just completely distract you... there will be someone else in the future far worthier of you.

Former Member · August 2006

Maybe, problem is, she is 17, i am 22 and she isnt mature enough for anything serious and im past meaningless casual flings and want to try serious for a change. The fact it was long distance just made it even worse in the long run, i mean 8 or so months isnt a bad run, just wish it hadnt ended.

Former Member · August 2006

Barbie1406 wrote:

I expect this has been done before but not that i've seen recently, so if it has then I'm reviving it, if not then wahey new topic,

Thought it would be interesting to see views on long distance relationships, who's in one? if not would you ever? if you are, how do you get over the distance? what do you do when you meet up?

I personally am In a long distance relationship have been 7months next tuesday.
I have MSN and phone so I'm hardly ever out of contact, but still the longing to be in her arms is still hard to deal with.

my personal hurt was lots of missing, aching and sadness. especially if cross words were said, u cant just sor it there n then.
dont get me wrong, when we were together it was mostly brilliant. i wouldnt have one again though. but u have to try these things for ur self.

Former Member · August 2006

I met my partner through this site, We talked for years, met up, got together and i traveled 23hours a week to spend 2 - 3 days with her every weekend, Now, I finished colleged, moved from Essex to Isle of Arran and we are having a child

couldn't have worked out better but only worked because we loved each other and were commited to each other

things work out if there is enough trust. it's the same as people being near each other I think, alot of people always say they never work, but nearly every relationship you have never works, thats why you have ex's.

Former Member · August 2006

Bunny_0_ wrote:

I'm in a long distance relationship and its not as hard as i thought it would be. there are times when i absolutely detest the fact he is miles away, but i dont think we would have the relationship we do if we saw each other every day.
i love him to bits, and would feel the same if he lived next door or in australia!

That's exactly how I feel about my relationship with my boyfriend. Although I miss him to bits we speak every night and it makes us realise how special our relationship is. I definitely appreciate him a lot more than if he lived a few minutes away from me, i think i'd probably end up taking him for granted.

Former Member · August 2006

I'd never go into a long distance relationship. From the ones I've seen, they've never worked out (not to say that all of them fail though) and it's not for me. I like the idea of being able to be with your partner whenever you want/need without having to travel miles to see them.

Former Member · August 2006

Ilora-Danon wrote:

I'd never go into a long distance relationship. From the ones I've seen, they've never worked out (not to say that all of them fail though) and it's not for me. I like the idea of being able to be with your partner whenever you want/need without having to travel miles to see them.

its surprising what you can put up with when you're in love though

Former Member · August 2006

Ilora-Danon wrote:

I'd never go into a long distance relationship. From the ones I've seen, they've never worked out (not to say that all of them fail though) and it's not for me. I like the idea of being able to be with your partner whenever you want/need without having to travel miles to see them.

:yes: I won't go into a LDR either. (I have been advised against it and the person who mentioned it, was in a LDR [internet] before he met his current partner)

Former Member · August 2006

Ballerina wrote:

its surprising what you can put up with when you're in love though

But, I'd never let myself fall for someone if I know they live too far away. I just don't want the heartache - relationships are complicated enough!

Former Member · August 2006

Ilora-Danon wrote:

But, I'd never let myself fall for someone if I know they live too far away. I just don't want the heartache - relationships are complicated enough!

well you don't know till you try. People are always quick to say that they leave you feeling miserable all the time but if you do it properly it's not like that at all. Obviously you have your moments but it soon passes. I think you learn to be more independant and not rely on them as much plus you appreciate each other more. There are good sides. But just to say its not worth it just because they live further away before you've even started is a bit unfair.

Former Member · August 2006

Maybe it is unfair, but that's life! I've met a couple of guys recently (who were boyfriend material) who live miles away from me, but we decided wouldn't go there because of the distance and they agreed with me on that, both times. I suppose it's all down to personal preference.

Former Member · August 2006

Ilora-Danon wrote:

Maybe it is unfair, but that's life! I've met a couple of guys recently (who were boyfriend material) who live miles away from me, but we decided wouldn't go there because of the distance and they agreed with me on that, both times. I suppose it's all down to personal preference.

maybe, but don't knock till you've tried it - you can't really 'prefer' till you've tried both options.

Former Member · August 2006

Of course I can. People have opinions about all sorts without actually trying them. Some people prefer not to have it up the bum, but it doesn't mean they HAVE to try it to say they don't prefer it. :no:

Former Member · August 2006

littlemissy · August 2006

Ilora-Danon wrote:

Of course I can. People have opinions about all sorts without actually trying them. Some people prefer not to have it up the bum, but it doesn't mean they HAVE to try it to say they don't prefer it. :no:

See, I used to think like you but then I found myself in a funny situation where I met this wonderful guy but he lived 250 miles away from me. However, I wasn't keen to let him go so we made the most of a bad situation. And it worked out well.

Views on Long distance relationship

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