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Rebound

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, so we know that going out with someone on the rebound is bad. But whats the status of casual fun? Or should I still give myself time to 'deal' with issues. I spoke to the ex today and told her I can't see / speak to her again, and want to forget about her really. It wasn't working trying to be friends. Anyway, last night I did go over a friends house and stayed with her till 2am. In the last hour or so I developed an urge to kiss her. Wasn't sure if it would be prudent though.

So seeing yet another female friend this afternoon. Should the same temptation arise should I go for it or should I hold back?

:) Thanks

Rich

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My opinion, Rebound sex is usually no good at healing wounds and depending who is it with might make things awkward...but in the long run it doesnt do much harm, so if you want to have it and enjoy yourself, go for it if it is there. I certainly would.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just do whatever feels right for you :yes:
    rebound sex is something you're most likely to regret tho'
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think I'd sleep with people, I may be more confident but I'm still shy in that way I suppose. It's little things, like when you're with someone and get an urge to kiss them. Because now I'm a 'free agent' as my friends say, I could happily do it. But I'm petrified :lol:, but I want to, but then what if it's going to get messy?

    :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally i think that if you get the urge, think about why your getting that urge.

    Is it because you miss what you have with your ex and think it might make you feel better?
    Is it because you want closeness and it doesnt matter who from?
    Or is it because you genuinly fancy the girl and would have made a move on her if you were'nt fresh out of a relationship?

    If its the latter, then go for it. But if its because of reasons similar to the first two then refrain. You'll feel stupid after it happens, could get rejected and end up feeling even worse, and could end up causing hassle with these female friends of yours.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I don't want a relationship, but this urge I was only getting with this particular girl. In fact, months ago, years ago even, we got close. I nearly broke up with my girlfriend then. And its weird how feelings have kind of resurfaced. But I really really don't want a big / any relationship. But she does understand me, and we get on really well. And then I just want to kiss her. I was with my ex today and didn't want to kiss her. In fact she repulsed me a bit :p.

    I do want closeness a lot though. And I'm slightly indiscriminant. But then again, if I had my pick, it would be the same girl. That's why it was her house I went round last night and stayed till the early hours talking. It helps a lot having someone there so I dont feel completely and utterly alone really. And the girl I'm seeing later, well if anything happened that would be purely gratuitous fun :p lol.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Casual fun - :yes:

    Casual fun with friends that you want to be friend with afterwards - :no:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I had some casual fun and I felt horrid afterwards, like really dirty. Stupid morals. But this was not with the really good friend, this was with the casual one.

    Just chill for a bit I think till I get settled down maybe.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're happy fooling around then that's great, but if you're not then don't think you have to.

    Just whatever you do don't go back to the ex for comfort.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    If you're happy fooling around then that's great, but if you're not then don't think you have to.

    Just whatever you do don't go back to the ex for comfort.
    :yes: tbh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Chilled with my friend this evening and it made me feel better. :thumb: We just walked around the village and talked then sat on a bench and then I went home.

    Deleted the exes contact details :lol: so I cant get in touch with her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i suppose if both parties agree that it is just casual fun, but if its fun to one and serious to the other its soul-wrenching for the one who takes it seriously
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im in the same boat here peeps.

    What i don't understand is some people have replied saying stay with the ex as friends for comfort, and some are saying the complete opposite..

    However, i met up with my ex tonight, made me feel so much better speaking to her as i havent spoke to her for 48 hours since she finished with me, but in a way it makes her wanna get back with me cus shes seen me tonight. Ive promised myself i wont get back with her, which i wont, but now that we've met up as friends for a friendly chat she seems to think different!

    What do i do?

    >Keep meeting up with her as friends for comfort
    >Not have anything to do with her and feel like crap and sick like i have been feeling like lately?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you can meet up as friends, but as long as you realise it is as friends. I mean, much to the annoyance of several of my friends, I've still been seeing my ex even after saying I couldn't see her. The trick is, we don't talk about what shes doing with boys and I don't talk about what I'm doing with girls. Though I did say to her today I didn't want her to break this guys heart, because he is well smitten with her, and she's not really interested but likes the attention etc.

    But for normal stuff like watching telly I haven't had much of an issue. It's actually helped knowing she hasn't scarpered to the other end of the world. And because I'm not feeling so miserable, I can get on with my own life better. Note me going to housesit with an italian girl at my bros place next week :p.
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