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My partner did a secret porn film of us!

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay, but don't worry about those 1000W lights either, and that grey furry thing is just a fancy sex toy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    :lol:

    Ah ok... but why is there a room full of overweight bearded men watching us?
    Oh don't worry about them. I'm running a shelter for people that are both blind and deaf.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    :lol:

    Ah ok... but why is there a room full of overweight bearded men watching us?

    They double booked the room. Now the cast and crew of 'Lesbian ninja power fetish 17' will have to share the room with 'I pretend to be a 15 year old girl in chat rooms' anonymous.


    ETA: Oh dear, this thread has been derailed a little bit.......
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've seen the tape and it wasn't that great.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id be seriously pissed off. I think filming yourself having sex is something you have to think about carefully even when youre consenting to it. It could so easily fall into the wrong hands if your guy is less than 100% trustworthy, or if something goes wrong. For someone to just film like that without the other knowing is a complete violation. Id be furious. I wonder if thats the only tape?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the other hand it would be a dam good way of getting revenge on an ex,

    But that would only workif it was a man wanting revenge and he'd been quite good at sex, (so thats me out then)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've seen the tape and it wasn't that great.

    Not big. Not clever.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not big. Not clever.
    what, the filmer's knob?

    sorry, couldn't resist!!

    Anyway, I'd be totally fuming, I don't know if i could live witht the fct of never knowing how many copies there are, how many other vids and how many people have seen it. I'd search the room every time we fucked, have to have the lights out and generally always paranoid. I'd also want to kick the shit out of him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd be furious! My bf has a film of me giving him head on his mobile (taken with my knowledge) but I still feel a bit uneasy about him having it...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think its that huge a betrayal of trust, and perhaps you need to think about why he felt he needed to do it.

    He obviously has fantasised about tapinhg you having sex for a while before he did it, did he ever mention it to you? I know the advice is always never to do anything you don't want to do, but sometimes you need to have a little bit of give and take in a relationship.

    I get the feeling you're more pissed off about him filming you naked than you are about the hiding. Which is why I have a lot of sympathy for him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    :lol:

    Ah ok... but why is there a room full of overweight bearded men watching us?

    Bugger, I should go then, right?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I don't think its that huge a betrayal of trust, and perhaps you need to think about why he felt he needed to do it.

    He obviously has fantasised about tapinhg you having sex for a while before he did it, did he ever mention it to you? I know the advice is always never to do anything you don't want to do, but sometimes you need to have a little bit of give and take in a relationship.

    I get the feeling you're more pissed off about him filming you naked than you are about the hiding. Which is why I have a lot of sympathy for him.
    :eek2: :eek:
    shocked you think its ok in ANY circumstance tbh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was so long ago that he recorded it. If your problem is with that then I think your being daft. You've been perfectly happy with him since he made the video up until now, forgive him his enthusiasm and move on.

    If you don't trust him to have kept the film to himself then that's another matter entirely, and you need to sort out the trust in your relationship.

    Have to say I'm almost with Kermit on this one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :eek2: :eek:
    shocked you think its ok in ANY circumstance tbh.

    I don't think its acceptable because you shouldn't be spying in a relationship, but I genuniely don't think that its crime of the century if it was for his own personal viewing pleasure.

    If he's gone and put it on a Jumbotron during the football or something then its completely different.

    I'd be more concerned about why he did it and less concerned about shouting and feeling betrayed, especially as it was such a long time ago.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    but I genuniely don't think that its crime of the century if it was for his own personal viewing pleasure

    I can't see that being the case if it was in his brief case though. I mean why would he need to take it out of the house?

    To OP, I don't blame you for being angry, I would be so pissed off if I found out someone had done that to me. I possibly wouldn't be so angry if I had found it hidden away in a cupboard or something at home but why would he be carrying it in his brief case. His brief case is going to be something he takes work with him and it's not like he's going to have a tv to watch it on in his office on his lunch break is it so he obviously has it in there to show people
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would be extremely pissed off and feel betrayed whether hed kept it in the house or not.
    Things like that have ALWAYS got to be consensual with BOTH people. I havent got anything against people taping themselves having sex or doing whatnot, as long as theyre both game for it.
    If he felt she wouldnt like it, so he couldnt tell/ask her, then he just shouldnt have done it full stop.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest if it's for his own gratification then I think you should forgive him.

    How old was he when he did it?

    He was probably just getting some cheap kicks you know, some people have different sexual urges to others....

    I agree with Kermit, you need to think..

    A) Is he trustworthy?
    B) Would he show it to anyone else?

    If you answer yes and no then I think you're safe....your call though.

    TBH I wouldn't be bothered if a bird filmed me nailing her as long as she didn't show it to anyone else because then it would just be weird.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No chance of a copy by the way? :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would REALLY like to hear back from the OP. What's happened etc
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To start, ideally he should have told you, but this is a real world. Most likely he didn't because he believed he wouldn't be able to keep the tape.

    Just consider this - he could take footage of any of internets hottest porn stars, but he chose a video of you.
    Unlike nearly any other man, he didn't even seek out other women the one place it's semi-acceptable - porn.

    He wanted you, not some other girl, but didn't want to hurt you, or make you feel pressured into anything.

    I can't see how you could be so self-concious, he obviously thinks your the bomb. And means it. :razz:

    => Jess
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't think it's that big of a problem really...

    isn't it better that he's whacking one off watching you and him not some random strangers?

    eta: to the person who posted above me..do you really think we can read it when you post it in that horrific green?

    to those who are interested here is what it says!

    To start, ideally he should have told you, but this is a real world. Most likely he didn't because he believed he wouldn't be able to keep the tape.

    Just consider this - he could take footage of any of internets hottest porn stars, but he chose a video of you.
    Unlike nearly any other man, he didn't even seek out other women the one place it's semi-acceptable - porn.

    He wanted you, not some other girl, but didn't want to hurt you, or make you feel pressured into anything.

    I can't see how you could be so self-concious, he obviously thinks your the bomb. And means it.

    => Jess
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think filming or taking photo's takes a big degree of trust. I've never done it but would find it a turn on. I think if I was with a partner in a solid relationship and she was up for it and we had total trust I would find it hard to resist, but would have to be so carefull.

    The thought of workmates or family seeing it would cause me a bit of worry. Strangers are not a problem, its easy to be exhibitionist infront of strangers who dont know you or any of your family and friends but if it leaks out with phones, internet etc it can easily spread around to everyone very fast once in the wrong hands. Even if it didnt bother me that much who saw the material, it wouldnt be fair on my parents or grandparents who would probably be deeply shocked and embarressed.

    I think its a betrayal of trust and I would find it hard to forgive someone for that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    isn't it better that he's whacking one off watching you and him not some random strangers?


    well yeah, if you consented to the tape being done.
    Not everyone WANTS to have themselves in all their naked glory having sex on camera for anyone who finds the tape to see.
    If you consent to it, you take those risks knowingly.
    If you didnt consent to it, its fucking horrible, because a tape could easily get into the wrong hands.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well yeah, if you consented to the tape being done.
    Not everyone WANTS to have themselves in all their naked glory having sex on camera for anyone who finds the tape to see.
    If you consent to it, you take those risks knowingly.
    If you didnt consent to it, its fucking horrible, because a tape could easily get into the wrong hands.

    :yes: completely agree.

    In my books that would be completely betraying me. Like breaking my own personal copyright rule or something. Its my body, therefore *I* decide who and when people see it, by making that tape behind her back he's completely breaking the control over her own body, even if it was only for his own personal use.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Completely out of order. If it were me, he'd have to do a LOT of fast talking to keep me from immediately dumping him, investigating what else he might have done and whether there were any possibility of pressing charges against him. Unless his name is Sir Freakin' Stephen, then I want and should have the right and option to consent or not consent to whatever I fancy, for whatever reason.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i find it quite shocking that people are even suggesting she takes it as a compliment :eek:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i find it quite shocking that people are even suggesting she takes it as a compliment :eek:

    :yes:

    Its a complete betrayal of trust.
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