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Her parents hate me...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
...Because i am 22 and she is just turning 18, her parents are refusing to let her see me or rather see me for more then afew hours at a time. It totally sucks and i hate it, but they do not think a nearly 18 year old should have anything to do with a 22 year old, especially not a relationship.

She is telling me it will be ok eventually and eventually they will let us have a proper relationship and for now, she loves me and trusts me. I do love her, we have known each other for years and years, we were friends long before we ever had our first date, and im happy to wait for her.

But she is 17 and i dont know if it is even fair to expect her to put up with the situation as it is, when she could be out having fun and having a relationship with some one her parents would let her see.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need to earn their trust.

    Treat her well, stick around, dont piss them off, and prove your making her happy and they will slowly learn to accept you.

    But trust takes time to build, especially with protective parents
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    have you met her parents? have you had a chat with them so they can find out who you are?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I havent met them yet, and doubt she will let me until she is 18 and probably leaving for uni or at uni, which is still after he rlast year of 6th form.

    Basically when i spoke to her last night about it she said her parents would be happy to let her see or and stay with a guy who was 22 provided they knew him and she had known him ages. Clearly they dont know we have been friends for years. But they said basically she doesnt know me at all, so it would be ok to stay with a guy she just met last week if all her friends knew him but not me who only she knows...even though i know her friends too. Basically...anytime she explains the situation they find a new excuse...apart from been a good bf to her now when i can see her and waiting for them to come around, there is nothing else i can do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    subject13 wrote:
    I havent met them yet, and doubt she will let me until she is 18 and probably leaving for uni or at uni, which is still after he rlast year of 6th form.
    :confused: why won't she let you meet them until she turns 18? thats bizarre. and surely if she wanted to help the situation she would let you meet them. its not surprising her parents are a bit wary of their 17yr old daughter staying with an older guy who they don't even know. is it a serious or a casual relationship? maybe she won't let you meet them because she thinks its the latter.

    when i had just turned 18 i started going out with a 26year old. my mum was wary too at first but she met him and had a chat and saw that he was a nice guy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know why she wont let me meet them, she seems to think her dad my kill me on sight before i can even say hello.

    But it is serious, it was suppose to be casual for us both, but that gradually became serious the longer we were together.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find it strange that you aren't allowed to meet the parents, and its not exactly a surprise that they are very very wary of this older man who has never been seen. What does she say to them about it? If she's banning you there's a good chance she's banning them too.

    As general advice, you can't make someone like you, and basically you will earn their trust if you stick around and don't act like a tard.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think you need to say that you want to meet them, regardless of whether she thinks they will like you. otherwise you will never be able to earn their trust.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a bit concerned about why she won't let you meet her parents?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    I'm a bit concerned about why she won't let you meet her parents?

    I dunno....I wasn't too keen on my boyfriend meeting my parents for ages. It was because I KNEW they wouldn't like him, I knew they'd be judgemental and I was totally right. I think when you've got an idea that they're not gonna be overjoyed, then you do hold back on the meeting the parents thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when i was 17 i was with a 22 year old and my parents didnt like it. but they let me see him. i know they hated it tho1
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is ALL over now for good.

    During a phone call to arrange a day to go to see her and i hoped meet her parents, because i needed to know what day to get a train ticket for, She started this huge argument while she was drunk, confessed to getting off with a load of guys during a game of spin the bottle and chatting up some other guy she wants to go out with instead and then decided after crying at me and saying she loved me...that, this morning it was all over for good! She has been all happy and smiles about it like its no big deal, despite all the tears and arguing and going on about love just last night.

    I am seriously upset and pissed off that she can one minute be miserable and on about how hard it is and how much she is in love then go and get off with a load of guys, cry about it when we have an argument about it, then decide we shall never make any effort to see each other again and probably will only ever keep intouch on the msn or texts (As If)! And she is acting sooo happy now about everything.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry to hear that. it sounds like she didn't like you as much as you liked her. she might have caught up in it all and only ever wanted something casual -which would explain why she didn't want you to meet her parents. she probably got so upset because she felt guilty and didn't actually want to hurt your feelings.

    im guessing all this because it sounds like something i did not that long ago..

    hope you're ok x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Lipsy, its true...you're not just a pretty face, you are a nice person too.

    I just wish she had told me what she actually wanted.

    Whether or not i stay friends with her or not, i don't know, we will probably never see each other again unless by some fluke she decides Leeds is the university for her and moves here, other then that, i doubt me and her will have much to do with each other now.
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